Forgiveness.

Last night before I went to bed I came across a show regarding forgiveness and what it means to the person doing the forgiving.

I began to think about this again ... hadn't for a long time. In my early 20s I forgave my father for all the nonsense he put me through as a child, teenager and adult. Dad was an alcoholic (I refuse to call him an alcoholic now, as he hasn't had a drop in 9 years ... I call him a non-practicing alcoholic) and in my childhood, teenage years and early adulthood it was a series of one disappointment after another with him. From child support to visitation to 'being there,' my Dad failed them all. There was a time for many years I only saw him at Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter. I tried to even avoid those but my Mom said that we should try to maintain some relationship with him, even if it was fraught with disappointment. Finally, in my early 20s, I had enough. I forgave him for his many issues. I didn't go to him and forgive him publicly, I just took it upon myself to find a way to let go of my hurt, my anger, my disappointment and my bitterness towards my Dad. It was a turning point for me. A couple years after that Dad gave up drinking for good. He's been sober now for nine years and we have forged a relationship out of what was essentially nothing. I still have a hard time at points with the fact for nearly 25 years my Dad and I were on limited speaking terms but I am thankful now for each day we do get to be together.

In the spirit of forgiveness, I forgive you Hex. I forgive you for the many times you disappointed me. I forgive you for ignoring my feelings and hoping they would go away. I forgive you for ignoring our problems until it was too late. I forgive you for your letting your ex-wife come between us. I forgive you for treating me as your cook, your housekeeper, your laundress, your gardener and your nanny instead of treating me as your wife. Most of all I forgive you for disappointing me ...

Forgive someone today. Even if it is for your own self and not for them.