12 years ... and a lifetime ago

Today is 9/11.  I don't know if I've posted about 9/11 before, but here I sit, watching 102 Minutes That Changed History on the History Channel.

I've watched this before, it is hard to turn away.

On September 11, 2001 I was working as a State Tax Specialist for CIC Enterprises, a company based on the north side of Indianapolis. I had just taken the job that summer and already knew that it was a bad fit for me -- it was clear that the job and I were a mismatch for a plethora of reasons. I was in my cube, working on my work that morning, listening to WTTS on the radio. We could have radios at my workplace, but only if they were on, softly, so no one else could hear. The news guy broke into the song playing and said a plane had hit the World Trade Center -- then, in what seemed like seconds later, he announced a SECOND plane had hit. I remember standing up suddenly, feeling dizzy and looking around to see if anyone else had their radios on, or perhaps had heard the same news. Another coworker had her radio on and she and I both looked at each other in disbelief.

The news spread quickly and a television was found -- and we watched the news. Some time later that morning, maybe an hour later, our boss came around and told us to get back to work, there was lots to do and we had a lot of reports due to go out in the next few weeks.

I knew then, as I know now, that things would never be the same. A whole country and world had changed. I also knew that "getting back to work" was just another phrase used to try to bring a sense of normal to the unreal.

That night I went over to the Hex's brother and sister-in-law's house for dinner, a family dinner, to bring us all together. I don't remember much about that night other than thinking that I had a business trip in a couple of weeks and I didn't want to fly.

Two weeks later I did fly, to Omaha. Seeing National Guard troops and Army in the airport with machine guns is a sight I will never forget. It was both comforting and surreal.

May we all remember today, remember those lost and remember the day the world changed forever.

Silence, the blessed sound of nothing.

I suppose silence isn't so much nothing, but the absence of the yammering of unwanted mouths, the endless pings and rings of cell phones, the music people share (that no one else wants to hear).  Silence, my dear friends, is the endangered species of the digital age.

Case in point: my commute in this morning.

I first take my car to the train station, approximately 2 miles from the house.  I then climb aboard the South Shore Railroad for my trip into Chicago (approx 2 hours), then walk from Millennium Station to the Washington Street stop for the Chicago Transit Authority Blue Line.  I then take the Blue line to the University of Illinois at Chicago.  All told, my commute is approx 2.5 hours, one-way.

At only one time during this 2.5 hour journey, am I alone.  That lowly 2 mile commute to the train station from my house is the one time I spend truly alone, just me, my car and likely NPR.  If I am lucky, I will catch a good story, if I am not, I change to music.  Let's call this part of my trip 10 minutes, just for grins.

I now have 2 hours, 40 minutes left.  During this entire 2 hours, 40 minutes, I am surrounded by people.  Sometimes people I know, but more often than not, total strangers.  We share close quarters, indoor space, punctuated by the comings and goings of fellow passengers.  It isn't wholly unpleasant, but it is not the private, confined space of your own personal automobile.

This morning I had to endure the following:

1. A woman (on the South Shore) and a man (in the Washington CTA station) who insisted on sharing their choice of music with all.  
2. A group of college-age people who shared videos on their phones with one another, at full blast.
3. A man who insisted on sharing his opinions on everything (although NO ONE asked him to).
4. Several cell phones, ringing endlessly without being picked up.  I do not know the reasons why, but I assume it has to do with the flagrant ineptness of said cell phones' owners and their ignorance of the vibrate/silent feature.  

It is days like today that I feel the age of civilization is as close to an end as it ever has been.  The "civil" part of civilization has been wrenched from its moorings, tossed asunder by the relentless onslaught of selfish bastards thinking only of themselves.  

As much as I love my commute (and I do) and I love taking public transit (I do), there are days I understand why people would much rather just get in their own car, in their own personal realm of joy & peace, than ever make contact with another human between home and work.  It is days like today that I arrive to my destination with a belly full of bile and an urge to spew it.  

Lucky you, dear readers, you get to hear all about it. 

Ya know, for a girl who used to like to blog (er, blather)

So, two *2* whole posts all of last year.

No posts to date this year.

What does this tell you?

(go ahead, take a moment, I'll cue the Final Jeopardy music)

Guesses?

yes, you are right, PhD coursework!  Lack of sleep! No willpower to blog! Exhausted beyond measure!

And to be honest (gulp) I didn't realize it had been this long.

So an update is in order.

Still in the PhD program, this is the last semester of coursework.
Still an insomniac
Still with darling HoosierGuy
Added one cat (Tom, Thomas, To-mas, Greycat, the Big One)
Still living in NW Indiana
Still riding the South Shore regularly (no good stories lately, alas)

Anything new?

Well, I have a paper that will be presented at a conference in April.  I nearly have a dissertation topic nailed down.  I have arranged to write another paper this summer with another faculty member.  I am working on a couple of papers with another faculty member.  I am a TA for a statistics class (no laughing please), I am a research assistant for the other part of my job.

Did I mention I don't sleep well?  ;)

Things I don't do:

see my friends as often as I'd like (I miss you guys)
drink enough beer/gin/wine (I miss this too)
sleep enough (maybe some day)
cut back on caffeine (I gave it up before but I NEED it now)
worry about working out (I give my heart a workout via stress)
get enough reading done at any point in time (I'm perpetually behind)


So that's me.  How are you?