Mailbox 1, Teenage Driver 0

In my continuing quest to be a good human, I agreed to take Mary and Lee's 15 year old out driving.  I'm trying to be a positive role model in her life and God Knows, I need all the help doing so that I can get.

When it became apparent that she'd get her drivers' permit, I agreed to take her out driving.  I told her that we could go sometime after school and that we'd tool around until she got the hang of it. She was, of course, totally excited.

As was I.  After all, I have very fond memories of my cousin T teaching me how to drive in the Federal Penitentiary Cemetery in Terre Haute.  (yes, you read all that completely right -- not likely I was gonna kill anyone there)

I pick her up at 5.  She is ready to go, quite excited for her big day of driving.  We get in the car, she gets herself and the car adjusted properly and Lee's last words to us are: "are you sure you don't want a helmet?"

Nice jinx, Lee.

We start out back behind their house, in a neighborhood close by.  It is going relatively well with the normal first time driver stuff of too wide of turns, etc.  We are having a good drive, I'm trying to instruct her without driving her completely crazy.  Then we turn on the last street before we head out of the neighborhood.  We meet her personal Waterloo: A School Bus.

Mind you, the street is like 1.75 lanes wide, like many residential streets.  Yes, an engineer would probably tell you it is two lanes wide, but two lanes for say a Smart Car rather than a School Bus or two.  She sees the school bus coming and panics. 

Scoots all the way to the edge of the road and WHAM!  My side mirror and the mailbox it hit are obliterated.

I shout: "Stop The Car!!!" and she does, pulling over and I get out of the car to retrieve my mirror and inspect the damage.  She is nervous now, scared I'll yell at her, while I'm just freaking stunned.  I explain to her that we need to apologize to the guy with the mailbox.

We do, we offer to buy a new mailbox and then we get back in the car, her driving. 

Why?  Because I don't want her to be scared out of her mind driving.  We go to Lowe's, she buys a mailbox and we return to the scene of the crime.  She gives him his new mailbox and apologizes again.  We then head down the road to practice parking. 

After getting whiplash for twenty minutes, I call off the exercise and we head to her house.  She tells Lee and he is incredulous.  Thinks we are kidding.  When he walks outside, it is clear we are not kidding.  The crying commences and we head back inside. 

Lee asks me if I want a beer.  I tell him I want a case ...

And later that night, back at home, I make the Tallest, Stiffest Gin and Tonic known to mankind.  And fall into a restless slumber.