This weekend was supposed to be a normal, average weekend in the life of me. Typically, Hoosier Guy would have come to Florida this weekend but there was this silly little car race at some little coastal beach town (Daytona) which apparently meant it was $600 to get to Florida from Chicago but only $200 to get to Chicago from Florida. Yeah, simple economics won out, he paid for the ticket and I flew north.
The weekend plans were simple. A drive to Wisconsin on Friday afternoon for beer (Spotted Cow!) and brats, then return to Indiana for dinner with friends. Saturday night was dinner with Mom and Stepdad and Sunday morning was scheduled with brunch invitations to Tippecanoe with his Mom and two cousins. Return back to Florida on Sunday afternoon and be ready for work on Monday morning. Pretty laid back, no?
Things were right on schedule through Saturday night about 8:30 p.m. when the proverbial shit hit the fan. While I really don't feel that it is my place to tell the story, let me say that I was able to meet his kids earlier than expected (we were thinking summer introductions) and police were called on multiple occasions due to his ex's level of cra-cra.
On the second occasion of police-calling, it was the exchange between HG's ex and HG that shook me to my core. It's a funny thing, childhood stuff, and sometimes it pops up even when you are fairly sure all of that has been "handled" in the past. Hearing her yell and scream at HG, with his quiet, pleasant and rational voice responding reminded me of more than a few fights I'd witnessed with my own parents, neigh on 25 years ago. Later that night, as HG and I lay in bed, I (literally) cried on his shoulder as I told him about how that fight had brought back memories to me. HG was, as always, kind and loving, ever apologetic that I should have to hear what had happened.
I could empathize with OldestKid and YoungestKid in ways that were entirely unexpected. In my situation, my Mom was the rational and sane one, whilst my Dad was irrational, unpleasant and scary. In theirs -- the reverse is true.
They are back with their Mom now, as the law on custody must prevail, despite the children's wishes to be with Hoosier Guy. I pray for their safety, security and sanity while this weekend's mess gets worked out.
As for me, well, it was a tough weekend. It sounds awfully self-serving for me to reflect on how this has affected me, but I will say this weekend's events dredged up a minefield of childhood memories that I would have rather stayed buried. Remembering my own parents' fights and knowing exactly how I behaved with my own sister when it was hitting the fan, it all was right back in my consciousness and present day after events of this weekend. The one thing that saved me was the fact that Hoosier Guy behaved as my Mom did back then, with pleasant and rational voice and didn't take the bait to escalate the whole mess further from his ex.
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Today's journey back to Florida (my flight was delayed yesterday and I was allowed to change for no fee, so change to today I did) was one of reflection. It is on this flight I came to a conclusion about Hoosier Guy and I -- it is like we are two ends of a bungee cord. Always connected, although sometimes stretched tightly, we remain together, tied to one another happily, working best as a team towards the lives and tasks ahead of us.
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