Final Blog Post of 2009

The end of the "uh-oh" decade is coming. About 8 hours from now, I'll be celebrating 2010 amongst friends.

Even with the heartache I've experienced this decade, I don't know that I'd do anything differently. With each moment I grow as a person and I have to say, I like who I am more today than I did ten years ago.

In 1999, as the clock rolled to 2000, I was standing in the gravel parking lot of my uncle's bar in Fish Lake, Indiana. The nervousness of that clock rolling over -- and perhaps the issues with computers -- made me wonder if the first few moments, if not longer, of Y2K would be in darkness. I remember watching fireworks in the air (my uncle had purchased quite a few for the party) and kissing my cousin's brother-in-law, J. It wasn't a romantic kiss, it was a "hey, kissing someone at midnight is good luck and I find you attractive so what the hey" kiss. After our kiss, we both smiled, hugged each other and turned to watch the fireworks.

I never dreamed that this decade I'd lose that uncle to a senseless accident, or that I'd be married and divorced, or that I'd still not have a child. At 26, my options seemed endless and my time in grad school had just finished.

So now I look at 2010 and some of my options have limits.

I will be applying for graduate school at Florida International University for fall 2010, public administration Ph.D. It is located in Miami and will mean a revision to my work schedule, but I think it can be done.

I'm not sure if I will have children, but I hesitate to close that door yet.

I would like to get married again, to the right person. Hex was a good person, just not a good husband. This time I want both -- a good person and a good husband.

I've completely relocated my life to a different state, climate and atmosphere. I don't know what this means for my future, but I must say I love it here.

So here's to 2010 -- and a new decade. These last ten years have been hard for me -- here's to hoping the heavy lifting is lighter in the coming years.

May you, and yours, have a blessed new year. I'll be laying out my resolutions tomorrow -- I think I've finally settled on a few.

Thinning the Herd

I, like many people I know, own too much stuff. As part of this week, my tasks have included getting rid of stuff I'm not using, not going to use and don't want to use. I rid myself of two large totes worth of clothing and household goods today. It felt nice to have those things out of my life.

I've been thinking about my New Year's resolutions and typically, I generally do these at my birthday. What with the upper respiratory infection/cold that would not die, I didn't focus on anything at my birthday other than survival. Now I'm starting to think a few resolutions are in order.

My NYE will involve a party at Mary and Lee's house. Today, Mary and I went to Total Wine to pick out a number of single beers for a beer tasting at Mary and Lee's. I'm making a cheese ball, bringing herring (in wine and in cream sauce) and am thinking about making some chocolate chip cookies for the kiddos. We shall see just how industrious I get in the morning.

The herring is a Swedish tradition that my family has followed for as long as I can remember. Supposedly if you eat herring before the new year, your next year will be good. I can say that last year I ate a boatload of herring and I ended up in Florida with a new job I love. Just sayin'.

So this year's herring focus will be personal-life related, with hopes to meet someone special in the new year. I'll keep you posted on how that goes, as always.

Tasks off the list

I've been working on my dining room today, getting stuff out, getting stuff organized and even hauling some recyclables down to the trash. Managed to pull out a couple of totes worth of "stuff" for Goodwill/Salvation Army/Whatever.

I had a pretty sizable bout of insomnia last night, was up from 12-3 a.m., just staring at the ceiling, thinking about my life and the coming year.

A couple of thoughts for this blog --

I heard the '00 years referred to as the "uh-ohs" the other day on the news and thought about how true that has been in my life.

Since 2000, I have:

Met a husband, married a husband and divorced a husband.
Moved five times
Changed jobs seven times (!)
Started this blog
Kept the same cell phone number all this time
Lost numerous family members and friends to various catastrophes and tragedies


I think 2010 is the start of something new for me. I wonder where I'll be in 2020 -- ???

Paradise revisited.

I needed to keep reminding myself today just how lucky I am to live here. After 5 days of no sun (okay, it was light out but no direct warm sunshine), I was feeling about as down as I can get. I just wanted to curl up into my bed and sleep each day away. Not exactly helpful when I'm on a five day mission to see as many friends and relatives as possible.

I wake up today and the first thing I notice is the sun, peeking through the light cloud cover, welcoming me back home. The kitties were, of course, superglued to my sides in bed last night and today has been no exception to that rule. They clearly missed me and neither have willingly let me out of their sight today for any length of time at all. Even in my shower, Cleo came in between the two curtains and walked along the tub edge, just like she did when she was a kitten.

Caesar is beside me now, to my left, with his front paws wrapped around my left elbow, leaving me just enough space to type as needed. The purring has been unrelenting. Cleo has positioned herself between my knees on the bed, every now and again putting a paw on my knee as if to reassure herself that I am still here. It is these moments where I want to show all the people that don't like cats how sweet they can be.

I spent today getting some laundry done, tried to get a leg wax and had wine at Bistro 41 with Mary and KC. KC, for those that don't know her, is in wine sales and has been kind enough to hook me up for wine tastings all over Lee and Collier counties.

KC also had some interesting observations on Rugby -- which I found highly fascinating. There is nothing like a disinterested third party observation of your dates to reveal insight. Thanks, KC, you rock.

We discussed wine, sunshine, happiness and joy, among many topics. So looking forward to NYE at Mary and Lee's house -- am working on a few goodies to bring. Then on NYD, Mary and Lee's oldest has her 15th bday and I've worked a bit on a gift for that.

As for the failed leg wax -- one would think after a week of full-on no-shave madness my leg hair would be long enough but nay, it wasn't. They told me to wait another week. Oh Sweet Goodness, how am I gonna survive another week with leg hair like this? I mean, really? It hasn't been this long since I was 12. I may give in and give up on the idea of waxing. I don't want to, but I don't have another week in the frozen tundra of Indiana to let it grow out unnoticed. Right now I feel weird -- feeling hair on a surface that hasn't had hair of any length on it for 24 years or so does make for some strange sensations.

Tomorrow is work around the house, then potential wine with Mary and her mom. I think I'm getting used to this day off stuff.

Return to Paradise

Had great fun in Indy/La Porte/Michigan City/South Bend/Carmel ... etc etc. I was on the road nearly every day seeing family and friends, just glad to return to my peaceful Florida home.

Was able to spend time with so many people in such a short amount of time is nothing short of a miracle. Next trip I believe I'll stay "put" somewhere and do my visiting from there. I'm exhausted and talked out. May become mute for a day or so.

Received some unexpected Christmas wishes from Tony ... good to hear from him.

Thinking about the upcoming week -- lots to do with laundry (boatloads), house organization (double boatloads) and tax preparation on the list for the coming week. Seeing sunshine will be the highlight of my return after 5 days of no sun, only snow, sleet, rain and gloom.

I miss my kitties.

Miss Mary, Lee and the kiddos. Miss my "home" in Florida -- growing more and more like home each day.

Time to return to paradise. I cannot wait.

Christmas Day

I can say without reservation that today was the nicest Christmas Day I have ever had as an adult.

Typically my Christmas Day would revolve around visiting various family and friends (all lovely and a wonderful time) but never really staying put in one place for any length of time. Since yesterday (C.E.) around 4 o'clock, I've been in Indy (Carmel, specifically) hanging out at Sister and Boy Wonder's house.

Some highlights from today:

Sister got Boy Wonder an ESPN Sports Center ornament that he absolutely loves. It plays the theme music and she didn't know it played music at all. This was played over and over as we opened gifts and became a source of great amusement.

Boy Wonder's Brother opened a gift today with the announcement: "I love it, what is it?" We have laughed over this repeatedly all day.

Sister received beautiful jewelry from Boy Wonder for Christmas.

Boy Wonder received Superman PJs which were promptly modeled for all.

Mom loved her computer. She hugged it about ten times at least.

I received a gift that is priceless beyond measure. Mom passed along to me her mom's cookbook, filled with her notes on various receipes and whatnot. I cried as I opened it, as the gift was marked from "Grandma Lemons" which has been 18 years since I received a gift from her (She passed 17 years ago, October). I still tear up thinking of it.

It was a wonderful day.

Tomorrow is more family and a trip to Target with CCM. Cannot wait to see her!

Christmas Eve

Sitting in Sister and Boy Wonder's quiet house, looking at the glow of the trees as I begin to nestle in for a few days.

The past few days have been a whirlwind, what with family and friend visits each day. I've been really blessed to spend quality visit time with all involved and have enjoyed seeing everyone so much. Some highlights of the trip have included seeing young Nathan walk so steadily and getting the sweetest little hug ever at the end of my visit there today. Just thinking of it brings tears to my eyes ... it was super sweet. Having Madison call me "Aunt Athena" today instead of "Layla" (her previous nickname for me) was lovely, and hearing her speech improved so much over a few months is just amazing.

Time with my cousin K and her four kiddos was wonderful as always. The oldest is 17 now, super tall, so handsome and seems to have a real plan for his life in place. He wants to be a teacher or work with computers -- while the 14 year olds are consumed by girls, working out and video games. The youngest, Miss E, is 8 going on 18, but so lovable and sweet. I hugged on her incessantly ... I miss her so much.

Sharkboy, ever the card, amused me by asking me last night if I was going to sleep with his mom and dad that night. He had noted that it was slick out (ice storm) and apparently thought I ought to stay the night. His question brought gales of laughter for all the right reasons and I must say I am still giggling about it today.

As for friends, I was able to see the Sharkfamily, the Electrician and Ark. All good visits, all just what I needed. Thanks Sharkfamily, for delicious pizza and beer. Long Live Cow and Cocoa Stout. I will find the Yuengling Black and Tan in Florida and have it ready for your arrival, Jay. Can't wait to see you in January.

I also spent some time with Grandma -- age 91 this year. Each time I see her I think she's littler and more frail, but she keeps plugging along. She's made of tough stuff, that one.

The nicest surprise I received though was a call from Mary and Lee's kiddos wishing me a Merry Christmas and telling me that they loved me. I miss you guys. Looking forward to seeing you all soon.

******************
I'm not sure what this all means for the new year. All these wonderful kids, all so important in my life. It makes that biological clock tick a little louder, a little stronger than I expected it to, that is for sure. Makes me rethink the whole "giving up on having kids" thing ... especially after this morning's discussion with Ark. So many things to think about ... and nothin' but my time to do it.

Day 1, Christmas Break

Yes, it is official. I am on Christmas Break.

I've never, in all my years of working, taken two weeks off. Even in HS, I always worked during Christmas Break, so this will be the first Christmas Break I've had since, well, I'm thinking 9th grade or so? Seriously, can it be that long?

As I lie here in the bed, listening to Caesar snore (yes, my kitty snores), I'm thinking of all the things I'm thankful for this holiday season.

I'm thankful for these two weeks off, so I can visit friends and family without worry and concern about what I'm missing at work. The answer is: nothing. I am missing nothing at work. This is a slice of heaven.

I'm thankful for the funds I saved to go back home and enjoy myself. I'm not wealthy by any means but I have enough to go and enjoy my stay.

I'm thankful for my family and friends -- I'm so richly blessed with some of the coolest people around.

I'm thankful for the Christmas bonus I received from work. In these times of economic hardship, I'm thankful that my employer is frugal enough to ensure my holidays are blessed with this economic good fortune.

****************
This weekend was wonderful. It wasn't anything like I'd planned earlier in the week, when I still believed that Rugby and I would be spending the weekend together. It ended up better though ... because:

I was able to spend quality time with Mary, Lee and kiddos, not to mention Mary's parents.

I found the PERFECT patio furniture on clearance at Target and bought it, assembled it and napped on it with the kittens yesterday afternoon.

I finished quite a few errands, which was a huge relief.

I was able to give a four year old and nine year old huge BIG fun at the dollar store -- and enjoyed every minute of it.

I used my down comforter on the bed last night and was happy, cozy and warm ... with aforementioned snoring kittens surrounding me.

Life is good.

A good night ...

Tonight was fabulous for three reasons:

1) I was able to see a friend from Cottey and her husband for dinner tonight. They've been working in the area for a few weeks but we've had clashing schedules. Luckily enough, tonight worked and it was wonderful.

2) My cousin K was "pinned" tonight as a nurse. After a few long years of nursing school and not just a few tears, she graduated tonight. My heart is so full for her. Tomorrow would have been her Dad's birthday and I know he is looking down on her with such pride.

3) On the way home from dinner, Mary's kids (2 out of the 4, anyway) were texting me on the ride home. They are fabulous kiddos and I love hearing from them. Cannot wait to see them on Saturday.

More thoughts ...

Last night was good. Went out for a beverage after work with Mary and Lee to celebrate a recent, much-hoped-for, unexpected blessing. It's not my place to say what it is (as it is personal to them) but suffice to say I was delighted to share in the toasting to good fortune.

The original plan was for Mary and I to have a beverage to alleviate my sore heart. As I said to Lee last night, it was much nicer to toast to joy than pain.

I've been thinking about this whole thing with Rugby. I guess I'm most upset with myself, as I let myself fall for someone so clearly undeserving of me. I was drawn into his life because I found him interesting, funny, attractive and different from what I've dated before. I thought he was as into me as I was to him ... and perhaps, at one time, that was true. I'll never know. What I do know is this: although I am hurt by his actions, I cannot change them/nor him, so I must accept what is and move on.

Anger, disappointment, frustration

There are only a few things in this world which make me so angry I could become a quivering mass of rage.

One is lying.

Lying, to me, just says that you believe I am stupid enough to believe whatever story you concoct. Whether it be a small lie or big, I'd much rather have the unvarnished truth than try to figure out what is real and what is not.

Such is the case with a guy who will not be named. Suffice to say that I pulled the truth out of him and then discovered later that the truth had been around much longer than what was stated. Then I find that he seems to be "congratulating" himself on telling the truth to me. Fact: I asked, he didn't offer.

So I'm stone cold pissed. So pissed I no longer want this person in my life.

I give trust at 100% from the get-go. However, once trust is lost (and believe me, his is lost), I don't grant it back easily.

So many thoughts ... swirling.

Ever had a few days of ass-kicking in a row? This week has been just that -- kicking my ass, taking my name and leaving me a quivering mess of emotions. All that has happened is not for public consumption, but suffice to say three separate events in three days have left me confused, hurt, troubled, sad and more than a little lonely.

The good news of late? Christmas break is just a few very short days away and soon I will have two weeks of thoughtful, restful time. I need it. I'm ready for it.

That and a text tonight from the Sharkfamily speaking of my favorite beer and a date for consumption of said beer set -- well, that was just what I needed. Refocus on the positive, accept life for what it is and face tomorrow with a heart filled with hope.

The Christmas week is looking a lot like this:

Dec 19 -- Beach, errands
Dec 20 -- trip to Stans? or pool
Dec 21 -- errands, haircut, pack
Dec 22 -- leave FM, arrive Indy, p/u rental car, drive to LP and MC. Visit with family/friends.
Dec 23 -- more family/friend visits in LP, beverages with Sharkfamily at dinner
Dec 24 -- bfast with my friend Ark, return to Indy, see Marine for his bday, family time
Dec 25 -- family time
Dec 26 -- shopping in a.m. with CCM, then family time
Dec 27 -- more family time, return to FM

Dec 28 - Jan 3 -- house stuff, tax stuff, food & beverages with friends.

Only a few more days ... then two weeks. I am ready. This has been one hell of a semester.

Back at it.

Another weekend gone ... Christmas lurking just around the corner.

Sister and Boy Wonder were here this weekend. We went to the beach and saw family. Introduced them to Rugby at dinner on Friday.

I'm ready for Christmas break. I'm exhausted, weary, bone-tired, all the words that adequately and accurately describe being as close to mental-death as possible. In the past three months, I've put together nearly $5M worth of grant funding and now my brain is all done. Ready for two weeks off.

Yes, dear friends, I've landed in the lap of luxury. This fantastic college that I work for closes for two weeks at Christmas. Closes. Yes, you heard me right.

I will be visiting friends and family the first week and the second week is devoted to getting my taxes in order, cleaning out boxes and hauling the last of the "stuff" to the storage bin.

The Mountain will have to come to Mohammed

I'm sure all of you have heard the tale of Mohammed and the Mountain. I related this to my Mom this morning as we were talking. She was telling me about the snow that was on the ground, the sleet that was coming down and the general icyness of the roads. You might imagine that none of this appealed to me and you would be right.

I told her that Mohammed had come to the Mountain enough times, it was time for the Mountain to come to Mohammed. Also, I wasn't moving back to that hot, err, cold mess of weather.

Mom has lived in La Porte County her entire life. I cannot even fathom it -- but then again I've lived in five counties in my entire life (La Porte, Vernon (MO), Marion (IN), Hamilton (IN) and Lee (FL)) -- and too damn many addresses to count rationally.

***********

Sister and Boy Wonder arrive on Thursday. I can hardly contain my joy, cannot wait to see them both. I saw them last at the end of September when I was home for Lu. Friday will likely be spent poolside, followed by dinner with Rugby, then Saturday -- Bradenton Beach, followed by a trip to Dad's to celebrate his birthday. Sunday -- the birthday celebration, then return to FM.

I've made Boy Wonder's favorite cookies for him, as well as goodies for Sister too. I need to get them an Edison State tote to take home for all the goodies. :)

Rugby and I have had a couple more dates ... the more I get to know him, the more I like him. He's a good egg.

Dating ...

Dates 7, 8, 9 and 10 took place this weekend. Date 7 was talking over Dairy Queen after he'd had a hard day, Date 8 was another wine tasting, followed by dinner on Thursday, Date 9 was a trip to the Sandy Parrot/Blu Sushi for dinner/drinks with Mary, Lee and Mary's parents. Date 10 involved seeing a movie (Brothers) and having pizza.

A little about him ... 37, father of two sons (10 & 14), lives in Cape Coral (the town next to Ft. Myers), works as tech support for the local internet/phone company. Smart, funny, interesting. Shall be referred to as "Rugby" for the purposes of this blog.

It is interesting ... dating. After things with Jason and I ended this summer, I turned inward, a bit, trying to figure out what it is I want. It wasn't an acrimonous ending, it was just clear that he was in Indy (and staying there) and I was in Florida (and staying here), therefore making dating a challenge and not just kinda. Add to the fact that it was clear it wasn't "going anywhere" period and there was no real reason to hang on, except, perhaps for me not wanting to hurt him. I know *I* was hurt but realized the inevitable and as such, took some time to think it all through.

It is four years this month that my divorce was final. It seems like yesterday in some ways, as I remember filing the paperwork so clearly ... and receiving it in the mail even more clearly. It was right at that time that I bought my bed (love it still ...) and my bedroom stuff, as I had been making do with the twin beds I had from the guest room of my old house. I remember bringing in the mail (I was in La Porte at the time), sitting on my chair and opening it all ... when the last letter was from the Marion County Clerk. It was obvious what it was, and I'll never forget my hands shaking as I opened the official notification that my marriage was over. I had gotten my bed a few days before and immediately crawled into it, boo hoo'ing into the sheets over what might have been and what never would be. I just remember lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, watching the sun's shadow trace over the ceiling, then the walls, then to darkness.

So dating is a challenge for me. I want to be strong, be brave, be willing to give and receive love in my life, but ... I remain scared of that bone-wrenching, gut-twisting, soul-killing pain I felt as all ended with Hex.

I remain focused on the positive with Rugby. He does wonderful things for me (always opening my car door for me, and closing it too) and is an interesting person to get to know. I'll keep you posted, as always.

Mildly cranky with a side of pissy.

Ever wake up some mornings and just feel, well, pissy? Pissy at the world, pissy at yourself, pissy at your clothes, just in general piss-tacular?

That is me today.

I am planning to go to graduation here (a couple of coworkers are graduating and I am being supportive) and as such, had to go get measured for my cap and gown. I pray I don't look like a dork. But I will. Because my sash/tassel will be turquoise. Yeah, SPEA!

I have a date tonight with a new guy. Date 6. Yes, I am counting them. All have been good dates so far, he is quite a gentleman and makes me laugh. I am hoping he brings me out of my funk. We are going to a wine tasting tonight that a friend is hosting. Should make for good discussion fodder on the way home.

I'm kinda tired, feel bloated and want to just lie under my desk and take a nap. That appears to be frowned upon though.

Harumph.

Sliding into December at Record Speeds

WTF happened to November? I mean, really? Aside from a trip to DC, family visits and five days spent in bed, praying for my own survival, the month was super-short.

Colts are 11-0. Happy Days.

Getting ready for Christmas, lots to wrap up and ship out. Need to get into my gift closet and get the stuff ready to get out of here.

Sister and Boy Wonder arrive next Thursday night. Gotta work on getting Friday the 11th off work for playtime.

Living is, well, relative.

Yes, I'm alive.

Spending upwards of 16 hours a day in bed alive. Leaving work mid-day to take a nap alive. Thanking-God-Every-Day-Antibiotics-Exist Alive.

My biggest fear out of this whole hot mess of infection was that I'd end up with pneumonia. I am still hacking disgusting, unspeakable things. When I talk too much or attempt to laugh, I end up with a coughing fit that sounds like the end stages of emphysema. People back away from me when I start that. I can't say I blame them.

On the plus side, I actually went out for dinner last night. I know this seems like something I do often (and it is) but since I arrived back from DC I've been spending every possible hour in bed. So being out in public was a Very Big Deal to me.

I go to my favorite Italian place -- Mona Lisa's. It isn't much, a strip-mall Italian restaurant next to an Office Depot and a Thai place. Looks average from the outside.

The inside ... still pretty average, except for the blessing (!) from Pope Benedict for the restaurant. Yep, old school Catholic Italians. These are my people -- if I were Italian or Catholic, that is.

They make a dish there that makes my heart sing with joy and happiness. It is called the Chicken Mona Lisa. Boneless skinless chicken breasts covered with buffalo mozzarella, spinach, mushrooms, sundried tomatoes and a lemon-butter white wine sauce. Served with some steamed veggies (last night was broccoli, zucchini and yellow squash) and a bowl of pasta on the side. This makes for two very good meals, as I always take half home. I have tried to finish it all once and ended up with a bellyache. A damn fine bellyache, but a lesson learned nonetheless.

Last night, though, I wanted dessert. I wanted their tiramisu. I love tiramisu. Good tiramisu is hard to find, much like good biscuits and gravy, good Italian beef sandwiches and good pizza. There has to be a certain kind of magic used and most places don't have it.

Turns out they were out of it. They make it themselves (of course) and they were out. I have been chasing this elusive tiramisu since I got here.

The owner, Joe, had stopped by my table earlier. Yes, I've become a regular at this place, I can't help but enjoy each and every time I come there. We talked for a few minutes, I told him I loved his food and that I enjoyed coming in.

So ... Joe found me some tiramisu. I have no idea where it came from, only that "it wasn't theirs" but he hoped I'd enjoy it.

and I did.

And if theirs is as good or better than that one, I'm gonna marry into that family. Damn skippy, that was good tiramisu.

She lives!

I spent my last few days in DC in a miserable phlem-coated nightmare of depravity. Yes, I managed to catch a severe upper respiratory infection (that I am still fighting today).

To highlight just how bad I felt: I willingly laid on the floor at the Atlanta airport. Yes, me. Yes, floor. Yes, floor of the busiest airport in the world. No, my germ-phobeness didn't overtake me, I felt so bad I was certain I was going to kick off anyway.

I am still wheezing, coughing and phlemy as all get-out, but day 3 on antibiotics makes me a much happier person. I don't think I'm going to die of this now, which is a comfort compared to Friday when I thought it was a possibility.

I don't remember ever being this sick in recent memory.

DC was fabulous, as always, although the constant rain/wind brought on by the remnants of Hurricane Ida-turned-nor'easter was vicious and unpleasant. I was so glad to see sunshine again.

Spent my birthday in bed, except for a trip to the Dr's then a trip later to the pharmacy. Slept 18 of the 24 hours. Sunday was not much different although I went out to the beach with Mary and 3 of the 4 kiddos. It was nice to sit in the sun. I was hoping it would bake some of this crap out of me.

Today has been spent getting laundry done and cleaning up a bit from the trip. Tonight is a trip to see Stephen King in Sarasota for his Under the Dome booktour. I am crazy excited to see him.

Until then ... a good nap and some more meds. Celebrate the b-day next weekend ...

in DC

I'm in DC this week for work -- first shmoozing, then a conference.

There is nothing quite like this city -- especially for a political junkie like me. I was here last in January 2009 for the Inauguration. An incredible trip, full of hope (not cliched, truly, optimism was in the air), joy and new beginnings. Like any relationship, really ;)

************

Yesterday was harder for me than I realized it would be.

I've never been here over a Veterans' Day, just always knew certain activities happened here that day and that was that. Seeing the scores of veterans here was incredible and moving. Yesterday marked the first time the WWII memorial had a wreath-laying ceremony, five years after the memorial opened. There were dozens of WWII veterans here ... all wearing some insignia of where they served, what branch of service they were in, etc. It was the moment I laid eyes on the Pearl Harbor veteran, in his wheelchair, that I think the waterworks really kicked in. I thanked him for his service ... and as we walked down the mall towards the Smithsonian Metro station I remained amazed at the history, knowledge and sacrifice that this man has seen.

A few minutes before encountering this man, I was asked a question by my coworker, Doc, and his friend, Joe, about why Vietnam Veterans greet each other with "Welcome Home."

This stunned me and let me explain why.

Both of these men have been involved in politics for years. Both have served for various House members in the Florida Legislature. Both have worked for members with ties to Veterans Affairs in Florida.

WTF?

As a child of a Vietnam Veteran I was heartbroken. As a member of the VFW Auxilary and American Legion Auxilary, I was heartbroken. As a student of history and politics, I was heartbroken.

For the uninitated, the term "Welcome Home," often used by Vietnam Veterans to greet each other, refers to the poor treatment they often received after returning home from Vietnam. Spit on, called baby killers or worse, and generally reviled, many of these veterans immediately changed from their uniforms into civilian clothes immediately upon entering the United States. Only their brothers in arms, fellow Vietnam Veterans, knew of the heartbreak and sacrifice that these men had seen. Thus, the term "Welcome Home" was nearly unheard of, except when used by fellow Vietnam Veterans.

Contrast this treatment to the treatment WWII veterans received -- parades, honors and tears of joy. You can see why Vietnam Veterans often consider each other their true brothers, as only they know what they've been through.

To paraphrase a quote ... when we forget our history, we are doomed to repeat it.

New blogs ...

Added some stuff for your reading pleasure:

Giant Butters -- happened to run across this one a few days ago. Used to be known as The Cherry Ride and now has changed cities, lives and career choices. I was lucky enough to meet him last year on the Bag Lady Bus Tour.

Texts From Last Night/Emails from Crazy People -- both provide me with endless hours of laughter. We've all sent the crazy text/email. Now read what others are texting.

PostSecret -- a longtime fave. Check it out.

DCBlogs -- because I love all things DC.

Ruth Holliday -- good blog for all things Indy/Indiana. Former writer for the Indianapolis Star.

I can haz cheeseburger -- I love LOLs.

My Frugal Adventures -- because I'm a total cheapass and love knowing this stuff.

Enjoy!

Pinot Grigio = one dry mouth

Great googly moogly, I ought to know better. I mean, really, I'll be 36 years old in a manner of days but still, still, still I believe I am bullet-proof when it comes to wine.

Pino Grigio was the killer of last night. I had buckets (okay, glasses that were remarkably like buckets) of wine and lo and behold, this morning I have dry mouth like a MF.

Sahara Desert-like, you ask -- nay. Nay. The Sahara is the freaking ocean compared to the interior of my mouth today.

Famous last words: "Sure, I'll have one more." (you dumbass!)

Weird reoccurring dreams

A post the other day on my cousin's facebook status made me wonder something -- does anyone else have weird reoccurring dreams? The same dream, over and over ... same outcome, etc?

I have one, with three variations on the same theme.

a) I missed my math final and I am going to fail my math class.
b) I somehow forgot I actually *had* a math class and now have to take the final completely unprepared.
c) I know I have a math class, I've been skipping it all semester and now I have to take my math final.

For the record, same teacher in all three scenarios -- Mrs. Gondor, tenth grade geometry. She is always the math teacher in this dream, and it always has to do with me not going to graduate from college. I always wake up, heart pounding, scared out of my mind and frantic.

Why Mrs. Gondor? Hell, I don't know. I actually *liked* geometry -- to this day the only math class I've found useful, aside from the basics of addition, subtraction, multiplication and division.

So what about you? Any weird reoccurring dreams? What are they?

I Know Royalty!

Almost forgot (Heaven Forfend!)

Halle Pino was crowned Queen of the Bag Ladies on Saturday night. Halle is a great friend and most deserving of the honor.

I only wish I had been there to see it happen!!!

(for more info on the Bag Ladies, please see http://www.indyprideinc.com/ )
Love to you, Ms. Spicy ... xoxoxoxxo

Nonsense, happenings and DC!

Most importantly: on Sunday I fly out to DC for a week. I am SO excited :) Good news: seeing PM from Ivy, bad news: possibly bringing a winter coat. It is still boxed from the move!

This weekend was lovely, had lots to do and just generally did whatever my heart desired. Life of Riley and all that.

Friday night was spent in the company of Mary and Lee, at their house, with the kiddos. Between Mary and I, three bottles of wine were consumed and a couple of beers over the course of seven hours. Needless to say, I was quite delighted when Lee made up the sofabed for me -- I cashed out nearly immediately. It was 2:30 a.m. and we'd be talking since 7:30. Bright and early the next morning (7 a.m.ish), the youngest kiddo (C -- age 4) wakes me up by asking me if he can have candy now (as it was Halloween). I crack open one eye, attempting to figure out where I am/who is talking to me/and why does the voice sound like a kid when I realize where I am, tell him candy is for after breakfast and make my escape.

Did lots of household chores on Saturday -- planted some herbs and veggies, swept, dusted, cleaned tile floors. Saturday night was a trip up to Dad and Stepmom's house for dinner/hang out.

Went to Dad's favorite Chinese place for dinner and then we attempted to go out for a beer. The local bar we went to had some guy yodeling (okay, singing, poorly) so one beverage later, we were on our way. I doubt we were there thirty minutes.

Sunday was spent hanging out with them, making a run to IKEA, then back to FM for laundry doings. Before calling it a night, I met Mary for a beverage at the Sandy Parrot and was back at home by 8.

Last night was spent finishing my book, getting the rest of the laundry done and starting to think about my trip to DC. Lots to pack, lots to think about.

Last time I was there was January 2009, for the inauguration and the resounding memory of that trip is hoping to God my toes weren't frostbitten off. Brrrrrrrrrrrr. This time I'll spend some time in the botanical gardens and museum of American History on Sunday ... then dinner with Mary and Doc (another coworker who will be there that week). Count on beverages to be consumed.

Vampire Edition (or adventures in bloodletting)

I've given blood the past three years. I decided, shortly after I turned 33, to not be a big wussy any more, confront my fear of needles and give blood on a regular basis. As I have plenty of friends/family in healthcare/EMS professions, I know the importance of giving blood.

Yesterday, however, was the first time I've ever given blood with the Mad Hatter, a witch, Dorothy (of Wizard of Oz), Chucky (of horror movie fame), a nerd and a surgeon.

There was a blood drive at the college and apparently all of our EMS students were given extra credit by their instructor if they dressed up for Halloween. The instructor came as a giant chicken.

Anyhoo, I think I'm going to back off the bloodletting wagon for awhile.

The last two times I've nearly passed out after giving. I get all sweaty, feel my eyes going crossed and end up on the floor, with my feet over my head. While this is mildly amusing to all who witness this event, it isn't my idea of a good time. Yesterday involved lying on the floor of my office, feet up on a box that was under my desk. This is not the most professional of appearances, trust.

My mother and my sister find this absolutely hysterical.

I do not. I just feel stupid.

And one pint low ...

South Florida 'pace'

The transition from Indy to Fort Myers has been overall good, with moments in time where I am incredulous at the differences between the two places and I'm not talking geography.

The 'pace' is one of those things.

South Florida's pace is slow. Reaaaaaaaaal slow at times. I have to check my tendencies toward "wtf" fairly often down here. In the grocery store, I could be in line a half-hour, with only one person ahead of me, because the cashier and the customer ahead of me are having a conversation about people that they might know ... and how they are related, how big the kids are getting, don't the tourists seem to be here earlier this year and on and on. Then, if you are to wonder if these two people knew each other, the answer is no. They might know some of the same people, might live in the same area code or might just have wanted to be chatty that day. Oh yeah, this is life down here.

Meanwhile, my popsicles are dripping, milk is getting warm and I am losing what is left of my mind.

Not one single person down here is in a hurry to do anything. If you are in a hurry, give up. You will be thwarted at every turn. Your patience is too limited to be in a hurry down here.

So I'm learning patience. Adapting. Adjusting. Slowly.

Ain't nothin' goin' on but the rent

I've been reading a lot lately, nothing of serious note except for The Lost Symbol. If you are a Dan Brown fan, I recommend, otherwise ... it would make no sense at all to you.

Thinking about my upcoming trip to DC -- would love to see some of the places mentioned, must add that to my visit.

Still enjoying the Hot Damn cds. Still smiling when I think of Stan's.

So far the winter visitation schedule looks like this:


January: Sharkboy's dad, perhaps Marine.
February: Mom, Sister, Cousin K and Cousin B
March: CCM, former coworker T and her daughter

I'm sure there will be more as time goes by. Who can resist sunny 70s when faced with wind-chill, snow and ice?

Hot Damn and Stan's ... a match made in heaven

(picture 1, note plastic "butt" shorts and bikini t-shirt, worn by a man and the flamingo hat worn by the female, picture 2, note flamingo hat and bikini t-shirt. See below for explanation.)

As all great adventure stories start, it was a random suggestion at a table full of fun people, made half in jest.

Then it became serious.

It was Friday night, I was at the Sandy Parrot (a local wateringhole of pleasant reputation) with Mary, Mary's husband, Lee, and Mary's mom, Carrie. We were talking about fun little places to explore, and my love of the random road trip, when Lee suggested we get in our cars and head, immediately, for a place called Stan's in Goodland, FL. Once it was determined that Stan's could potentially be closed for the night (it was 7 then, but we'll get to that in a moment), Lee suggested a road trip for Saturday. Carrie dropped out of the fun, but the three of us left were to meet at Lee and Mary's house around 10:30 or so on Saturday morning.

I had woken up fairly early on Saturday morning -- around 7 or so, took a walk around the neighborhood then went to breakfast at FirstWatch. Came home, read the paper a bit, started laundry. Happened to look at my phone, realized it was 10:10 and I wasn't even in the neighborhood of being ready. I called Lee & Mary and reported I'd be there by 11. All good.

I get there about 10:50, freshly showered, bag packed, mind ready for adventure. Mary is still getting ready at this point (no big deal to me) and Lee hands me a beer. It was at this point I knew the day would be most excellent. Ice Cold Beer on the start of a roadtrip always portends good adventure.

We had a couple of errands to run first ... dropping off items to both of their Moms (coupons to one, tickets for the Commodores to the other) and away we go in the convertible, zipping down I-75. Sunshine, glorious sunshine and laughter were our guides.

We make it to Stan's at about 1:30 or so ... and hear live music as we arrive. Stan's is best described as a funky little small-town bar with a great following. It sits on the edge of the Everglades, has a tin roof (in parts), two stages and about 60-ish tables overall. The crowd was light on Saturday, about 60 people or so all day, coming and going with boats, cars and jetskis in attendance all day. One particularly unfortunate man on a jetski reminded me of the Chris Farley skit "fat man in a little coat" as the life jacket he wore would not keep him afloat if it was paid overtime.

The music of the day was provided by Hot Damn, a husband/wife duo out of Maine, who happened upon this place some winters ago and are now a fixture. They play damn near anything, with some definite leanings towards country music, which didn't bother me a bit.

Picture this: wooden deck, metal roof, license plates as decor, kitch for days, live music, dancing and buckets of beer under a warm October sky. Truly heaven, if you've got any sense at all.

The hours rolled by and the beer continued to taste as if it were made just for us. We laughed, told stories, enjoyed the hell out of the whole experience. As all good things must come to an end, so did Stan's. Yes, it is true, Stan's closes at 7 p.m. in the "summer" (winter hours start in November -- then open until ???) and I bought some CDs for my listening enjoyment later (all three are fabulous, btw).

One especially interesting thing to note ... next door to Stan's is a shop called The Island Woman, which sells all manner of tschotches, nonsense and whatnot, and was the store that Lee suggested I do all my Christmas shopping at for the northern relatives. The pictures included in this post are of some of the 'treasures' found at the Island Woman. Please let me know if you cannot live without any of these items, as I'm sure Stan's will become a favorite of mine in short order.

Apparently Sunday is the day that Stan's becomes out-of-control outrageous, as it is a well-known destination for local bikers. From what I could tell (60+ tables, two stages and plenty of madness), Sunday must be seen to be believed. I think a Monday off work will need to be in order for a Sunday adventure.

The 6:14 a.m. text

Yes, believe it or not, I received at text at 6:14 a.m. this morning and that person lived to see the day. Of course, it helps he is in Indy, as if he were here ... well, let's say it could get ugly.

It's not even that I mind morning. In fact, I love mornings -- it is just that my bed this morning was super-duper cozy comfy warm and cool at the same time happiness.

Oh, the text? It was a friend of mine, let's call him Marine, who had just gotten off work from closing a bar in Indy and he wanted to let me know that he wants to come visit, more than once, this winter. Why on God's happy little green earth he chose 6:14 a.m. to tell me this I do not know. Anyhoo, he and I have been friends since 7th grade and had lived in the same city for YEARS without knowing it, and rediscovered each other a year or so ago via Facebook. Many hi-larious times ensued and the last one culminated in us closing down the bar (see above) and him sleeping it off in my guest room. He wanted to make sure to tell me this morning that he hasn't had a good night of sleep since that time and that my guest bed was super comfy.

I told him to come on down, and he can check it out again. I know we'll be catching up while I'm in Indy in December, as his bday is 12/24 and he wants to celebrate.

************
This weekend looks interesting ...

I need to start thinking about DC, as I leave in two weeks and haven't so much as thought about what I will wear yet. I have a suit I need to pick up at the cleaners -- then probably need to look at Macy's/Dillards for other options. I have enough suits for the week but still want to make sure I have good evening clothes too. I'll be seeing a couple of former coworkers there, plus will have some new coworkers in tow. Should be big fun.

Saturday evening is the fundraiser of the year for my college. The Pops concert this year features the Commodores and Saturday night I'll be on my lawn chair, drinking adult beverages under the stars and listening to music. I'm excited and totally ready for that.

Sunday is still up in the air. I'm trying to do a little touristy stuff here and there and I have a few ideas bubbling around my head. Cayo Costa State Park? Capitva? Sanibel? Edison-Ford Winter Estates? Sitonmybuttandwatchfootball? :)

7 Years Ago Today

It never fails.

An email arrived today.

Every October 19, I hear from the Hex.

It is our anniversary, after all. Seven years ago today ...

For the past four years, that hasn't been true.

I don't wonder, not anymore. While we were married, while I was in counseling, I wondered, hoped, prayed, wished, dreamed we'd work it out.

Now I know --

I am happy.
I am well.
I am okay.

Seven years ... and a thousand lifetimes ago ...

The updates ...

weekend/week update for those of you interested:

1. Mom and Mom2 (mom's best friend, S) arrived late on Sunday night. Upon their arrival it was discovered that I had no a/c at home. They did not want to disturb me because of #2 and suffered in silence until I got home. Maintenance was called, a/c not fixed until Tuesday. Luckily enough, a guest suite at the apt complex was open so we all slept in relative comfort on Monday night. Today they are exploring the Edison/Ford Winter Estates and Bonita Beach, then dinner/drinks at the Sandy Parrot with my coworker and friend's parents (one of whom happens to be from my very small county in Indiana ... the world revolves around La Porte County ...).

2. Had a date this weekend ... thus the reason why they did not want to disturb me. His name, for the purposes of this blog, shall be Captain as he was kind enough to invite me out with some friends of his for a boat outing. It was a fabulous day ... gorgeous weather, food and company. The only unfortunate turn of events was the friends had to call it off early due to illness -- however, we stayed out, enjoying the water and the day. It was my first date since things ended with Jason and I back in July ...

3. Still working financial aid stuff. I believe there is a director in the works (amen), so my time working it is probably limited at this point. I've enjoyed the learning the processes but feel exceedingly ignorant of the whys and wherefores of the financial aid biz. My lack of knowledge in student services is obvious in many ways and in this case, glaringly obvious.

4. Upcoming weekend plans include a vacation day on Friday (yeah!) and a trip up to Venice, FL to stay at an oceanside place with Mom and Mom2. I am so excited about this I can hardly stand myself. I'm looking forward to the sound of waves in the morning, hunting prehistoric sharks' teeth and generally spending two relaxing days. They leave Saturday afternoon ... so I'll probably pop down to Blind Pass Beach for a little further hunting, then perhaps up to see Dad and Stepmom for dinner. Sunday is still unknown at this point.

5. I looked for a house this past weekend and will continue the house hunt until I'm satisfied. Yes, dear friends and relatives, I am looking for one with plenty of space for relative/friend storage in the winter months. Please put in your time share requests for Winter 2010 now. :)

ooh, yes ...

and a happy birthday shoutout to my dear friend MND! He turns 36 today ... you old fart, you. :)

6 years ago yesterday.

It was six years ago yesterday that Mom, Sister and I were in Florida, soaking up the sun on Siesta Key. It had been a beautiful day, lots of sun, one elderly man in a banana hammock for our viewing pleasure and good times.

We got back to the hotel ... the phone had a message.

Call Krin.

Krin is my cousin, just four months older than I am. We've had drastically different lives (her: married 17 years with 4 kiddos and now finishing nursing school) but have always been sisters in spirit and heart.

Her dad, my uncle Wayne, had been in a car accident. One so similar to the one my aunt Lindy (his wife) had had some 21 years earlier that it was frightening. She sounded so alone and scared.

Later that week, after returning to Indy -- I immediately drove north to see her and see Uncle Wayne. He squeezed my hand, I told him I loved him. A few short weeks later he was gone ... and I miss him still.

On the list of men I've known in my life, he's on top. A family man to the core, he was one of my biggest cheerleaders ... always telling me I could do whatever I wanted to do, to do the right thing, focus, work hard ... and that he loved me.

A Walk Down Memory, er, Nightmare Lane

Loyal readers .... I know you remember the dark tale of the married jerk I dated for awhile? The one who neglected to tell me he was married ... and I found out through internet research and contacted his wife to apologize?

Well Well Well.

Last Wednesday, on my work email account, I received an email from this guy and this is what it said:

"I am not talked to you for a really long time and I would really like it if you would allow me to talk with you soon. I did not treat you well at all and should have done everything that I could do to hang on to you and continue to see where our relationship could have taken us. I miss you a lot and I miss talking to you and being with you. I just wish that I would not have waited this long to get back in touch with you. I am very sorry for how things turned out and would very much like a second chance with you, if you could find it in your heart. I no longer have any of your numbers, but can give you mine in the hopes that you would either text or call me so we can get together. If nothing else I wish that you would at least text me and let me know that you are doing well.

That is all I can say for now. My phone number is 317-IAM-JERK. (changed to protect, oh hell, I don't know why I'm protecting him ... I should rent a fucking billboard with his name on it and CHEATER plastered on top.)

I hope to hear from you soon,

Jack"

First, ignore the obvious lack of any type of grammatical training whatsoever.

Second, assess the fact he emailed me. On my WORK email. And I did not work here when we "dated."

Third, Seriously. What The Fuck Is Wrong With This Guy? The term douchebag hardly contains the distain I feel for him.

My email back was simple:

"We haven't talked because you are married, just as you were when we met and when we dated. Figure out your life and quit hurting others with your selfishness."

Seriously. WTF.

Not a damn thing going on.

Nope. Nada.

(and I kinda like it that way!)

Going to DC next month for a conference, will be there a week (squeeeeee!!!!) and cannot contain my joy.

Work is good. My boss is awesome. I want to be just like her when I grow up. (there is no time frame for me growing up, btw)

Mom and Mom2 (Mom's best friend) are coming down next week. Each day my Mom gets a little more excited. I think today was a new high of excitement, she started telling me all about what she has packed already. (She leaves Saturday afternoon)

Not much else going on, just enjoying my existence.

Hope you all are doing well too.

Utter Bullshit

Roman Polanski
Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/

I have read, with great interest, of the arrest of Roman Polanski in Switzerland this week. Roman Polanski, for those who don't know, is a famous director, Academy Award winner and former husband of Sharon Tate, who was savagely murdered by the Charles Manson gang. He is also the son of Holocaust survivors.

He is also a rapist.

More precisely, a rapist of a 13 year old girl. Sodomy, rape, oral sex ... all forced on a 13 year old girl. A rapist who fled the United States of America for France when it became apparent he would be (shock! awe!) punished for his crime. Which he committed. Which he admitted to.

Instead, he fled the country and has now been arrested in Switzerland, who doesn't offer the same blind eye to justice that France has for over forty years.

This is not to say that Switzerland is the end-all, be-all of justice, of course, just think of those millions of numbered bank accounts outside of many countries' jurisdictions. This is to say, in this instance, Switzerland got it right.

I do not care who you are. I do not care of your wealth. I do not care of your "genius." I do not care of your "loss" of your place here in America nor of your inability to receive your Oscar in person. Nor do I care that your victim has asked you not to be punished. You admitted guilt, you should receive your punishment.

I care about justice.

Roman Polanski -- accept justice. Accept your punishment. Atone for your decades-old sin.

Indy and beyond ...

I spent last weekend in Indy with Lu. I'm glad I went, however, I think I aged about 25 years in the process. I never thought at age 35 I would help my friend pick out her husband's urn. Seriously, if that doesn't age you nothing on earth will.

Like I said though, I'm glad I went. By the end of the weekend she was eating willingly and keeping the food down. This was a major accomplishment. She was also sleeping a bit here and there so I was pleased with that.

***************

I'm back at work, getting some things done. I'm applying to the University of Florida for an Ed.D. in Higher Education Administration -- yep, I'll be a Dr. after all is said and done. I've always wanted a doctorate ...

Interesting job developments of late. I may be asked to take over another position. I'm nervous as hell but excited that they have faith in me.

Nothing else to report. Life is just moving right along. Mom and her best friend are coming in town next weekend for a week. I'm taking a day off to spend with them, so I'm excited about that.

My friend Steve

How does one describe a friend?

Steve Leonard is the loving husband of my friend Luana. I cannot bring myself to say was, as I know, just as I know myownself, that Steve loved Luana every day and would never said he "had" loved her, just that he did.

I first met Steve in the fall of 1999. I had recently changed jobs, from the Department of Workforce Development to the Department of Commerce at the state. Luana was one of my coworkers. Lu was welcoming and helpful ... and soon after I started there I found that we shared a love of all things cheap: flea markets, yard sales, frugal tips and both had an ongoing regular trip to the Hollywood Bar and Filmworks.

For Lu and Steve, it was Monday nights. It was half-price beer night, you see, and that and a pizza were Steve's idea of a real good night. One Monday afternoon, Lu asked if I wanted to go that night and I said yes. It was at Hollywood that I first met Steve.

Steve accepted me right away, as any friend of his wife's was a friend of his. I cannot remember that night's film, but I can tell you that many a Monday night over the next few years were spent in Lu and Steve's company. I can say truthfully that I've seen more movies with Lu and Steve than I've seen with anyone else, ever. As Steve would always say, without fail, as we entered the Hollywood Bar & Filmworks bar area, "Youse girls got dates?" in his best Lurch-like voice. It never failed to make us both laugh and we always agreed to be his date.

My friendship with each of them grew over time, and I'll never forget the first time I was invited to their annual Fire In The Hole party. You have to be a pretty special friend to the Leonards to be invited to their little limestone quarry down in rural Bedford. Consider the fact that directions are not only helpful but necessary to get there and you get the picture. For the uninitiated, let's just say you turn off the gravel road. :) This Fire In The Hole party is an annual October event. Held in mid-October each year, it was an opportunity to sit around a big fire, in the rock quarry (the 'hole'), drink adult beverages and make food over the intensely (!!!) hot fire. Many good stories have come from this event -- and my favorites involve the many trips to the top of the quarry (4 wheel drive REQUIRED) to visit the cabin, spray cheese, green apple martini mix (out of classy plastic cups) and the many types of shared goodies amongst friends. This party was rustic, no doubt, with your choice of a tent outhouse or a goodly hike to the top of the quarry to use the "real" outhouse. Many would stay overnight, sleeping in the cabin (if you made your reservations early for the non-electric, woodstove-heated cabin) or on the floor of the quarry. Those who stayed the night (as was requested if you'd hit the adult beverages too hard -- those turns out of the quarry plus the county roads out were wicked) often cooked breakfast over the remnants of the fire. Friends of Lu and Steve's from years past, along with family, were invited to this party to talk about the latest events from the year gone by. It can be said that some people started out by bringing their kids to the party ... and are now bringing grandkids.

After a few years of being invited to their cabin with outdoor plumbing, I hit the mother-lode of Leonard friendship -- an invite to their place in Venice, Florida. This was shortly after my divorce and I don't have to say that I was feeling as low as a person can get. I called just a few weeks before, checking in with Lu and Steve as I often did, when the invitation was extended for me to come on down. That week with Lu and Steve restored my soul, restored my faith in marriage (at least a little) and made me realize just how lucky I was to be their friend. Steve made a point to tell me that I was a good person, that he had had his own problems in marriages gone by, but that Luana was the best thing that ever happened to him. He told me to hang in there and know that I would find someone. When I think back on that week, I can say, truly, I was healed in a way I'm not sure I've ever really appreciated until now.

So it is now that I say I am a good friend -- good enough to be invited to places with both outdoor AND indoor plumbing. This is a very high rating in the Leonard Friendship Scale.

I was to have breakfast with Steve and his friends in Venice, FL in early October. He was coming down to check on the winter palace before their long sojourn in January/February to celebrate birthdays and their anniversary. I was to meet him at N'tinos, a little restaurant close to their place "on the island" at Venice for the breakfast special ($2.35 for eggs, toast, potatoes and coffee -- a total joy for the frugal people we are) and to catch up. I cannot imagine that I won't see him then. His big bear hug and "taking care" of Lu and I were things I counted on from him.

Ten years. That's how long I've known Lu and Steve. To be sure, it was always Lu and Steve, not just Lu and not just Steve. Two better-matched lovers, friends and spouses I've never seen. I love you both, am thankful for you both and I will miss the two of you together.

So, yes, Steve, I've got a date with you and Lu again ... someday, somewhere. Until then, I raise a bottle of Miller Lite to you -- toasting one of the finest men I've ever known.

Long Frickin' Week

And am seeking anything to amuse myself.

Try this:

http://lovelylisting.com/

hi-larious.

Where do I start?

Last week's triumverate of madness, sadness and general disarray continues.

I will speak of one of these things, but only one. The other two still sit on my heart, wearing me down and out -- with a sense of wonder and disillusionment.

Last week I was checking Facebook, as I am wont to do. On FB, I discover that my friend L returned from working overnight to find her husband, in the kitchen, bleeding from a pretty serious headwound. Apparently he had fallen and was refusing to seek medical attention. L convinced him (and by convincing, I mean offering him a choice between: willingly leaving for hospital, going by ambulance or being Tased) to go to the hospital for stitches in his head. It was a deep wound and ugly as all get out.

Upon arrival at the hospital, S (the husband) was offered sutures (which he declined) and then was told even if he declined sutures, they were keeping him anyway for a CT scan. The scan showed severe bleeding on the brain and bruising in both the front and back of his brain.

Shortly after that, S went into a coma and has remained in the hospital since. On Saturday night/Sunday early morning, he opened his eyes for the first time since Tuesday. This is not to say he is out of the woods, far from it, but he is alive.

My wonderful Sister (and Boy Wonder) was kind enough to deliver a care package for them from me yesterday. It was all I could do from here while wishing I could do so much more.

This is the second friend this year that has had a horrible experience like this.

Please take it from me -- love one another. Be thankful for each other. Be thankful for the time you have together. Tell people that you love them. Tell them that you care. Be there for them. There is no guarantees of tomorrow, barely a guarantee of the next minute.

*****************************

Some days.

The last 24 hours have been a rollercoaster for me.

I received three separate bits of news about friends and family -- none of it good. Right now I am just taking a moment to be thankful for:

my family
my friends
my health
my job
my apartment
my life

None of the three things are anything I feel I can expound upon, as it would not be fair/appropriate to those involved. You Know Who You Are and you know that I love you.

Things I know now.

Drinking wine with someone who drinks wine for a living is a lose-lose proposition. One, she just keeps pouring the wine b/c she can drink infinitely more than you and two, the wine is crazy potent.

Driving home this morning I looked like a PSA for teenagers on "the evils of alcohol." My hair looked like that Nick Nolte mugshot, my mouth had a taste I'd rather not describe and it was way way way way too sunny out. I would have worn two pairs of sunglasses but I'm sure that would have been overdoing it for the Sunday morning drive to church crowd.

The moral of the story is, kids, think about who you are drinking with before imbibing the first drink. It is a hell of a slippery slope after and I can tell you that I am h-u-r-t-i-n-g today.

Meeting on Saturday.

I just RSVP'd to a meeting I have to attend:

a) for work
b) in Tampa
c) on Saturday

I am cranky already. Boo Hiss to Saturday meetings.

Labor Day Weekend wrap-up

(CCM: this is the woman from Indy's airport heading to Ft. Myers. Please add this to our list of Fashion Nos. Thank you.)

OMG, am so tired today. I wish I had taken today off. When I walked in, the office secretary asked me how my weekend was and I told her "great, but never let me schedule an out of town weekend again without the following day off work." She laughed, then said she'd help me out next time.

I was able to spend time with Sister and Boy Wonder and see their absolutely fabulous house. It is very "home" already for them (and for visitors like myself as well) and looks great. I am excited to see what changes happen in the coming weeks and months. I'm sure the continued painting and fixing up of the place will make it even more "home" soon.

Mom's side of the family converged upon Sister and Boy Wonder's house on Saturday ... so I was able to do some serious visiting with them all at once, which made my day go fast. Saturday night I headed off to a get together with some former coworkers at the Rib Fest. Loverboy was playing as we were there and I did manage to get some high quality people watching in while we were there. I almost wish I had brought a lawn chair just to sit and look at people. Truly fascinating. A2 managed to catch a picture of the most henious outfit ever worn in public but unfortunately, I accidentally deleted it from my phone. A2, please resend it to me. I need to post it for posterity's sake. We called it a night around 9 and I was back at Sister and Boy Wonder's house, getting ready for Sunday's roadtrip to LP.

Got up at the crack o'dawn on Sunday to drive to see some family friends, J and K Z, then to see Grandma. Grandma is 90, going on 91, so I try to take every opportunity to see her that I can. We had a great visit. I followed that up with a quick stop to see Mom and Stepdad at Stepdad's family reunion, then to Mom2, my mom's best friend and my second mother. I then raced back to Indy to catch up with the BGM for a birthday celebration for Maestro. I missed dinner, but managed to catch a drag show downtown at the Metro and see one of the BGM perform there. Hugs and love to all of you ... great to see you :)

Monday was a race against the clock ... got up, hung out with Sister and Boy Wonder a bit more (good pancakes ... thanks Boy Wonder!), then got ready to meet Maestro and BGM's Mom for some lunch at what I hoped would be Bazbeaux. Sigh. Not to be ... Bazbeaux was closed for Labor Day, so we went to Hoaglin's for lunch. I love Hoaglin's but my heart was set on Bazbeaux. After a good lunch to celebrate Maestro's 34+1 day, we parted ways and I headed north to meet Sister and Boy Wonder so they could take me back to the airport.

Lucky me, I did end up with about 30 minutes to myself, so I went to Half-Price books and bought $39 worth of books. Yep, I am certain the AirTran baggage claim people hate me now.

Arrived back home at 6:15 and basically ate dinner, then came home to veg. Good to see everyone, although I did not see everyone I wanted to see. Longer trip planned for December, so I will have more time and opportunities at that point.

Happy Tuesday !

The Day I Nearly Lost My Shit

It has been awhile since I felt a complete overpowering inferno of anger consume my soul.

Yesterday was that day.

Last month, armed with my new health insurance, I met with my new doctor to get a refill on my anti-depressants. Same ones I've taken for the past three years, they work great and I cannot imagine not having them.

My new insurance declared that I had to try the generic of my drug. Either try the generic, they said, or pay full-price for the one you are on. ($260/month vs. $30/month) Obviously, since I am fully in charge of my own health care (insert sarcasm here), I took the generic.

On the generic, I had the following side effects: insomnia, heart palpitations (for hours, all day long), constipation and, perhaps worst of all, I felt like it wasn't treating my depression. I wanted to lie in bed all day every day, much like I felt when I wasn't on my happy pills.

So I contact my Dr., am told to get off the generics and they would re-order the brand name, now miraculously (insert sarcasm again) covered by the same assweasels that wouldn't cover it before.

Four doctor's visits in one month (copay at $20 each time). Like I have that kind of time in my existence.

A few days after going of the wonderful generic, I'm still having palpitations. Imagine sitting in your chair at work, calmly typing, when your heart starts to race like you are running over 6.0 miles per hour on a treadmill. This is what I've been going through. It feels like my heart is coming out of my chest.

Another Dr.'s visit ... and sometime this next week, I'll be put on a 24 hour heart monitor to ensure that no "real" damage has been done to my heart.

****

Then, after all that fun and games at the Dr's office, I had a vet appointment for my cat, Caesar.

Caesar, last year, had a bout of spraying in the house. This caused untold heartache and problems for me. He was diagnosed with having a UTI, plus some anxiety b/c he misses me when I am gone. Yes, happy drugs abound at my house. Cleo is the only one not on them and probably she ought to be.

Well, all has been fine here. Seriously, good times for everyone, all kitties adjusted appropriately. Two weeks ago, I called the apt. office because I had ants in my house. After they told me that it would be two weeks before they could get it sprayed, I went to Target, bought some stuff and eliminated the ants. All good, right?

Wrong.

Last week, the bug spray guy comes to my house during the day. He was supposed to come today ... not last week. So I don't put up the cats because I don't know he is coming and when I get home, it is obvious that kitty has sprayed somewhere. Caesar is nothing if not territorial of being the only boy in the house.

As a precautionary measure, I schedule an appointment at Banfield, the vet office at Petsmart, to have him checked out. I called Monday, got an appointment for Wednesday (yesterday) at 4. Since I've taken the cats to Banfield in Indy since, well, forever, I thought I knew what I was getting into.

How Wrong I Was.

I run home at 3:30, collect the cat, and get to Banfield by 3:55. Fill out some paperwork, get the cat weighed and am in the exam room by 4:05.

I wait. I wait. I wait some more.

At 5:00, after still not being seen, I collect Caesar, put him back in his cage, and open the exam door and walk out. This action now causes a stir at Banfield. Bad customer service, no stir. Person leaving with their pet before exam completed, big stir. No "we are sorry" just "oh, you are leaving."

I put the cat carrier in a cart and proceed toward the cat food/toys area as I have a few things I need to pick up. This poor, unfortunate Petsmart employee walks by me and apparently does not see the stormcloud brewing above my head as he greets me with "how are you doing today?"

I reply, tersely, attempting not to use all the profanity I have bottled up, "Not good, thanks."

I keep walking, now with purpose, to the cat area. It is there that a Petsmart manager greets me, apparently having been tipped off by the employee I encountered only moments before. He asks if everything is okay. I tell him that no, everything is not okay, I have waited an hour for an appointment to have my cat seen, after making the appointment for 4 p.m. it is now 5:15 p.m. and I have a cat that needs to be seen and a vet clinic that is unresponsive, at best. He then asks the near fatal question: "Is there anything I can do for you?"

What I wanted to say is: FUCK NO, THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO FOR ME, UNLESS YOU ARE WILLING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THE FUCK ANYONE MAKES AN APPOINTMENT AT THE VET HERE IF THE WAIT IS AT LEAST AN HOUR WITH ABSOLUTELY NO EXPLANATION. FUCK THIS SHIT, FUCK THIS STORE AND FUCK YOU.

But I did not. What I said was: "No, I am done with this place for today. I am buying what I have in my hand and going home. All I want is to go home."

So I buy my stuff, all the while noticing some conversations taking place by the vet clinic that are obviously about me. It was all I could do not to flip the whole place the bird.

I get into the car, start the ugly cry process and in the middle of that, my friend from work calls to ask me out for a drink. Thank God for C, she was my lifesaver yesterday.

****
After this delightful little incident at Petsmart, I drove down the street by my house where I had seen a vet before and lo and behold, they were open. After explaining myself and my needs, Caesar now has an appointment for today at 4 p.m. They were much nicer to me. Thank God.

Some Days Are Just Like This. Today Is One Of Those Days.

One More Thing

Whoever stole my friend H.R.'s bicycle is an assweasel. Fuck You. No really, FUCK YOU.

Sorry, H, 33 is not your year. I am working on making 34 a better year for you. So far, Fitnessnerd has been tasked with lifting the voodoo curse that is on your ass while he is in N'awlins.

That and some Bazbeaux on Monday.

I'm not saying I have a big arsenal of whoop-ass, but I'm trying.

Facebook.

I joined Facebook probably two years ago. Facebook is an odd sort of community, one that brings you back in touch with people you knew "back when," people you know presently and people that you've never known, but whom share a mutual interest.

My interest, lately, has been online games.

I know, it's silly. I wasn't one that grew up with video games of any sort. I mean, I had a cousin that had an Atari and I remember loving to play Frogger. Frogger, back then, was a green blip that was "supposed" to look like a frog crossing traffic. Never mind that the "traffic" wasn't anything more than dashed-lines that were supposedly cars and trucks. Needless to say, this wasn't the golden age of gaming, it was simply what it was.

My sister, however, is just a few years younger than me. She had a Nintendo. Yes, the original, no numbers after it, no labels, no nothing. Standard Nintendo. This was a huge step up from Atari as you could actually see what things were supposed to be rather than just a blip that may or may not look like what it is supposed to be.

Back to Facebook.

I'm hooked on a couple of things. Mafia Wars. Farmville. Pirates. Sorority Life. Farkle. All silly, ridiculous games that have no bearing on my existence but I love playing them.

Facebook -- who knew I'd actually enjoy using it?

Classes started yesterday ...

And this place has been a madhouse since a week ago Monday.

Long lines, impatient people, hot, sweaty ... you name it, it has been going on. I've been serving at a "welcome table" -- also known as the answer desk. I've been at the table for anywhere between 2 hours and 7 hours each day of the last week. Last Friday was the first day I'd gone home before 6 all week. It was delightful.

Being at a college in the first few weeks of a semester is almost intoxicating. The excitement is contagious ... with students, staff and faculty alike all focused on the start of school and the "newness" of the semester at hand, where that ever-elusive "A" is still within reach.

I've been sleeping hard every night. I come home from work, eat dinner and collapse.

I did find out that I'm eligible for free tuition next semester -- so I'll be taking Spanish. I really need it here, so much more so than in Indiana. It would have been especially helpful these past few weeks.

Thinking ... thinking ... thinking.

yes, that's what I've been doing.

Family has been to visit lately (two weekends ago it was Dad and Stepmom, this past week it has been Aunt N and Cousin T). With family visiting, it makes for some thoughtful hours, as we ponder each other, our lives and our loved ones.

Not a terrible lot to report other than a nice visit to Key West this weekend. Aunt N had always wanted to go and Uncle R does not like to drive over bridges, so with the visit, I agreed to drive down to Key West and spend the weekend.

It was lovely.
It was beautiful.
It was everything you expect Key West to be.

I'm back at work now, just trying to get caught back up. And thinking ...

Well, so much for getting attention

Yep, the news report that some woman was assaulted on our campus by two men, complete with descriptions of those men?

Completely made up.

A story.

A fairy tale.

Bullshit.

Think she got her family's attention now?

Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs, that's all I'm sayin'.

Crazy day at work ...

I'm sure it will make the national news, as it has hit the AP wire here and the news is all over Florida ...

Today at our northernmost campus, a young woman was assaulted by two men in a classroom. This happened about 10 this morning and, as such, that campus was not only locked down, but each and every vehicle leaving the campus was searched. So far, there has been descriptions of the two men released but no one has been apprehended.

That's the bad news.

The good (?) news is that we (my college) are very ready and able to handle such an occurrance and aside from the fact the assault took place, the procedure was followed. It seems a bit inhumane to talk about procedure when a woman is hurting, but honestly, it could happen anywhere and now I know what we would do if it happened on my campus.

After this happened, in an unrelated incident, the entire campus email system, network and internet systems went down.

I did a lot of filing today. Thoughtful filing.

I hope the woman who was assaulted is okay. I will keep her in my prayers tonight.

(from the Charlotte Sun Herald)

BREAKING: ASSAULT WITH KNIFE REPORTED AT EDISON, CLASSES CANCELED

The Charlotte County Sheriff's Office is investigating "an assault with a knife in a bathroom" shortly before 10 a.m. today at the Charlotte campus of Edison State College.
The victim is reported to be a student around age 30 or 31, according to the Sheriff's Office.
Lt. Rick Hobbs, a major crimes detective with the Charlotte County Sheriff's Office, said the matter is being classified as an assault, until further testing is completed. Officials earlier called it a sexual assault.

Sheriff's deputies stopped students' vehicles as they left the campus. The woman has been taken to a hospital.
Classes have been canceled for today.

Deputies issued a BOLO for two male suspects.
Sheriff's spokesman Bob Carpenter provided these descriptions:
"White Male, 5-6 to 5-8 inches tall, about 20-25 years of age, skinny, dirty blond crew cut hair, two-day growth of beard, was wearing white Puma shirt, black shoes, a scar over eye and wearing a gold hoop in his right eyebrow.
"The black male was stocky in build, 150 pounds, 20-25 years of age, clean shaven, black hair, brown eyes, wearing a large gold necklace around his neck, large baggy blue and black polo shirt, and blue jean shorts with yellow boxers over them."
The sheriff's helicopter and K-9 units have been involved in the search for the two suspects.
Those with information can call the Sheriff's Office at 941-639-2101 and Crime Stoppers at 800-780-TIPS.
Classes at Edison are expected to resume Friday.

Work overview.

It is always interesting, being the new kid on the block. Even more so -- being the new kid in the new job with unknown expectations.

The last two jobs I've had have been that way. Make my own way. Push my own limits. Discover my own boundaries.

I am loving my new job. So many different opportunities to affect change. Options for my own personal growth. Options for learning in general.

I felt pigeonholed at my last job. This one -- I feel free.

A blessing, indeed.

What a great weekend ...

You never realize just how much you miss your family and friends until you get to see them again.

Sister and Boy Wonder's party was fabulous. Like I said, great food, good times, lots of laughs. Perfect weather, IMHO, with it just cool enough for a bonfire while not too cold. Definitely not hot enough for being miserable, which was lovely too.

This week it is back to the grind, trying to get some things done. I have a couple of agreements to mesh together, plus a grant to get written. Back at home I have some boxes to get to the storage unit, along with some other stuff to be unpacked.

I'm by myself this weekend at the apartment, but next week Dad and Stepmom are coming, then the following Tuesday Auntie N and Cousin T are coming, then after THEY leave, my friend Angela is coming. Then it will be quiet until Labor Day when I head back to Indiana for the weekend.

Today a coworker brought in some mangoes a friend of hers had given her. Apparently mangoes are like zucchini in Indiana, so I imagine we will have more mangoes as the week goes on. I love mangoes so I'm already thinking about what I will make with it.

Nothing else to report. Lots of stuff to do, gotta focus.

Good friends, good food, great family ... fantastic day.

It is a little weird being back in Indiana. First, it is cool here. As in 50s for the lows tonight. Today's weather was perfect for the party thought ... 70s and sunny, with a very slight breeze. Granted, as the sun went down I added a sweatshirt, but overall, very pleasant.

Mom has repainted her bathrooms and both look great. I love the color in her smaller bathroom ... although I should, as it is the color of my former bedroom in Indy. :) Yes, she used the leftover paint from my house to paint her bathroom.

I was able to see many friends and family I haven't seen in a few months today, so it was a fantastic day ... I got to hug on Madison and Nathan, as well as their parents, the Sharkfamily and my friend N, who was kind enough to stop by despite the fact that he doesn't know Alyssa and Colin very well.

Tonight (for me) ended about a half hour ago when I retired to the bedroom. The party started twelve hours ago and is still going strong. There is a brisk cornhole competition going on, between my stepbrother, M, and Boy Wonder. The loser has to wear the winner's alma mater colors to the Purdue/IU games. Needless to say, neither wants to lose!!!

Ate lots of great food, including some things I've never tried before but will now add to my recipe files.

Tomorrow is a return to Indy in the morning, followed by an afternoon flight to Fort Myers. Back to the hot ...

Ready to see the family.

Reupping the meds today.

Yep, that is what it takes.

I am headed back home again to Indiana ...

at least for this weekend.

Mom is hosting a post-wedding open house for Sister and Boy Wonder. I should probably think of another name for him, but honestly, the lovely man registered for a Batman towel for the wedding registry, so ... Boy Wonder he remains.

I fly in 'round 9:30 on Friday night and on Saturday, Sister, Boy Wonder and I head north to LP for the family/friend shindig. Returning to Indy on Sunday to fly out around 4. It is going to be a cram-packed, fun-filled weekend.

Looking forward to it.

Alias ...

I've started re-watching Alias from the beginning. A few observations:

1. This show still kicks ass. It is better than so much drivel that is on television now, let alone when it was produced.

2. Michael Vartan and Bradley Cooper remain ridiculously hot. Good Mary, I need a cold drink of water after watching them.

3. Ron Rifkin is the ultimate evil genius.

4. Victor Garber isn't too hard on the eyes either.

*******
There are a few other things going on but I'm not ready to talk about them yet.

have you ever ...

had the kind of day where you just stick your foot in it from morning until night?

Today was that kind of day.

I am thankful it is bedtime.

NYC Prep on Bravo.

So I'm watching this inane show for God Only Knows what reason. Basically, it is a reality show based on the experiences of NYC prep school students.

Two immediate thoughts:

1. Cynicism as broad as theirs is generally cultivated by years of life. They are all of 16-19. How sad.

2. I am thankful I do not know these children. It would make my life miserable.

The A/C is out at work ...

I am sweating.

Thank God for my fan.

I'm thinking nice cold shower before the concert tonight ...

It has to be 85 degrees in here.

Oy vey.

John Legend!

I'm going to see John Legend tonight and I'm so excited I could pop!

Woo Hoo!

Things that have made me happy this week.

1. I have a ticket to see John Legend/India Arie tomorrow night. :)

2. I have successfully made a hair appointment, a doctor's appointment and an "oil change" appointment ... all for this week! Seriously! The Stars Are Aligned!

3. I have found out the name of a good auto repair place in town.

4. My friend S's husband T is beginning to show positive improvement since his stroke. This is utterly FANTASTIC news!

5. I fell asleep at 8 p.m. last night and slept solid until 6:30 this morning. mmm mmm mmm.

6. There is a Restoration Hardware outlet by my house.

7. There is an Ulta less than 2 miles from my house.

8. I can buy booze on Sundays.

9. Getting a FL driver's license was not as painful as I thought.

10. My friend Angela is coming to visit in August and we will be going to see Kathy Griffith's show when she is here!

11. The peaches I bought from a roadside vendor have been nothing short of spectacular.

12. I broke the news to Mom that I'm not coming home for Thanksgiving and she did not Freak Out.

13. My laundry is done and put away.

14. The kitties are happy.

15. My sister and her hubby have bought a house!

A little bet ...

Anyone want to guess the first thing a wife does when she hears her husband proclaim, publicly, that the other woman was "his soul mate"?

a) Reconcile with him.
b) Clean out the bank accounts
c) Hire the shark-iest attorney ever.
d) Change the locks on all residences
e) B, C and D

I guarantee you this: if I were Jenny Sanford, Mark would WISH he had been hiking the AT, nude, without sunblock and bug spray, for a month.

***********

As an equal opportunity kind of gal, WTF Denny Oxley? Seriously? You have to be dumber than a sack of hammers to be caught out drunk, with an intern, then proclaim you are still a member of the House of Representatives. Smooth move, Ex-Lax.

Weather ... etc.

It's funny, this place. The weather here is consistent day-to-day, same average temperature, same humidity, same afternoon thunderstorms .... yet ....

I find people telling me it is more humid today than yesterday (really? You are that talented as to discern a 1% difference?), more hot (again, a matter of + or - 5 degrees) than x day or bigger thunderstorms than last week.

For me, the real difference has been in the thunderstorms. For one, it rains sideways. Yes, nearly 90 degrees. In Indiana, it rains "south" while here it rains "west to east." Umbrellas are only useful for your head, the rest of you is soaked through.

Also, thunderstorms here seem closer. Like the thunder is 2 feet above your head rather than miles overhead. The first time I heard thunder outside here I probably jumped three feet straight up. It is LOUD.

Living here is a dream come true. I love it ...

Settling in ...

I moved the last of the 'major' boxes to the storage unit this weekend. Sure, there are other things that could be moved there, but honestly, just knowing that the Christmas stuff, the yard stuff and garage stuff is stored is a big relief to me.

The next focus is getting the living room and dining room finished. I should be able to do that in the next few days. I have an entertainment center being delivered on Thursday, so the last of the LR boxes can be emptied at that time -- the DVD player, Wii, movies, etc. that can finally have a place in the house.

The final room to be tackled is the guest room. I have guests (Auntie N and Cousin T) coming in early August, so I know I need to get the guestroom in order by then. I'm hoping things will come together relatively easy. Right now the piles of paperwork (bills, filing, etc.) are getting on my nerves.

In other interesting news, after a number of discussions regarding when I am coming back to Indy, Jason has booked a ticket to Fort Myers. He will come in on Wednesday night and be here through Saturday night. I'm looking forward to seeing him :)

Life is good ... :)

Thriller ...

I don't know about you, but Thriller had to be the most-played album (yes, album) at my house. I got it for Christmas, seems like 4th grade or so, and absolutely wore the vinyl out on that record. I remember nearly all the words to the songs and am still secretly thrilled when an artist samples one of those songs, as I know that they, like me, were similarly influenced by the artist that was Michael Jackson.

It's funny, though, that the first thoughts I had after hearing news of his death (tonight, around 5:30 at Pinchers, a local restaurant) weren't of him. They were of a friend of mine, long since passed. Colleen.

Yes, that's her real name, and she and I were as close of friends as one could get in 3rd, 4th and 5th grade. We gradually drifted apart because of differing interests (she was musically gifted [to say the least] while I concentrated on sports) and differing groups of friends. We remained friends, although never as close as we once were.

The year Thriller came out though, we were the best of friends. Sisters in spirit, sisters in heart. We spent hours listening to it up in her room at the farmhouse she grew up in. I remember lying there, on her old wooden floor, just playing that record over and over as we talked about everything under the sun.

Whenever I've heard Thriller since, I've thought of her.

She's been gone now, 12 years this July. If there is anything I've learned from losing her, it is this: there isn't a day that you are guaranteed. Make the most of your life. Live.

RIP Michael. I'll miss your music. You were quite the artist.

And Colleen, wherever you are ... I'm thinking of you. Still miss you.

Women & Wine Dinner

Last night I went to a Women & Wine Dinner with my coworker, Mary. Mary is 33, just married and has just joined the college staff in October. She knows what it is like to be the new girl. This is quite comforting to me.

As we were leaving work last night, I asked her if she knew of any cool places to hang out to meet people. Seeing as the boxes in my house are beginning to have personalities, likes and dislikes and different speaking voices, I figured it was time to get out and meet people before I completely cracked.

It was held in downtown Fort Myers, at a bar/restaurant called H2. The chef paired the four courses with the four wines and all told it was $40. Quite a bargain, IMHO, as it was terrific food and spectacular wine. There was even a rose which was not what one typically thinks of when 'rose' is mentioned ... it was complex and crisp, with no hint of residual sugars. Quite delicious!
(Hendry winery, from CA.)

Met some lovely older women, one of which confessed that she had just had breast implants put in last week after having a double mastectomy. She had named the "girls" Thelma and Louise and said she was quite delighted with them.

I really felt at home last night and actually felt like I am beginning to belong here.

And She's Back ...

A few observations to get me going blogging again:

1. On my third day here, I ran some errands and got some shopping done. At the Dollar Tree store, I was in line ahead of a woman and her niece (?). The niece is maybe 19 or so, woman maybe in her 40s. Both look rode hard and put away wet. The niece is pointing out things that her dad might want for Father's Day and the woman says (and I quote): "I am already buying lighters for you to give to him for Father's Day. He will really like that."

2. Palm trees come in many shapes, sizes and styles. There are as many varieties of palm as there are what I'll call normal midwestern trees. I am endlessly fascinated by all of them.

3. Pre-owned, consignment and used furniture (depends on the quality/price as to what a store sells or calls it) is big business here. Huge.

4. Recycling is mandatory here. Plastics 1-7, paper, glass, metals. You name it, they recycle it.

5. It isn't the humidity, it is the heat. The humidity is similar to Indiana in July/August. It is the 95+ degree days that are killing me. I get most of my tasks done in the morning or afternoon/evening. Mid-day is for napping or quiet tasks.

6. I wear SPF 70 every day and I am developing a tan. I actually have a line where my watch sits on my arm.

7. The cats love it here. Cleo has napped in the sun several days and is literally hot to the touch when she wakes up. Caesar likes to watch the geckos and birds.

8. There is a roller derby here. I am going to a bout on Sunday night. It does not appear to be as popular as in Indy, but still worth a check.

9. The ocean temperature here is 90 degrees. The pool temperature is 92 degrees. I am not about to investigate the hot tub.

10. Working 7.5 hour days again is quite nice.

Life change dead ahead!

Found an apartment in Fort Myers this weekend. Got approved today and will get a lease via FedEx sometime this week. 2BR/2BA, end unit, second floor. Nice place. It isn't a palace or anything but it will serve its purpose.

The house is officially on the market. Need all the positive thoughts I can get people!

Sister and Boy Wonder's wedding is this weekend. Cue endless hours of merriment and drinking. Oh, and family. Cue more drinking ;)

Dad, Stepmom, Stepgrandma and Elmer (the dog) arrive on Thursday. Stay tuned for madness ...

Looks like the house will be packed up around the 8-9 of June, with arrival in Fort Myers sometime between the 11-17th. I will know more details next week.

Last day at work is Thursday. Woot to the WOOT!!! So Very Excited!!!!

Start new job on June 15. Am totally excited. Nervous as hell, but excited.

Headed to bed. Long day at work, gave blood (nearly passed out) and stayed up too late last night.

Peace, good people, peace!!!