My friend Steve

How does one describe a friend?

Steve Leonard is the loving husband of my friend Luana. I cannot bring myself to say was, as I know, just as I know myownself, that Steve loved Luana every day and would never said he "had" loved her, just that he did.

I first met Steve in the fall of 1999. I had recently changed jobs, from the Department of Workforce Development to the Department of Commerce at the state. Luana was one of my coworkers. Lu was welcoming and helpful ... and soon after I started there I found that we shared a love of all things cheap: flea markets, yard sales, frugal tips and both had an ongoing regular trip to the Hollywood Bar and Filmworks.

For Lu and Steve, it was Monday nights. It was half-price beer night, you see, and that and a pizza were Steve's idea of a real good night. One Monday afternoon, Lu asked if I wanted to go that night and I said yes. It was at Hollywood that I first met Steve.

Steve accepted me right away, as any friend of his wife's was a friend of his. I cannot remember that night's film, but I can tell you that many a Monday night over the next few years were spent in Lu and Steve's company. I can say truthfully that I've seen more movies with Lu and Steve than I've seen with anyone else, ever. As Steve would always say, without fail, as we entered the Hollywood Bar & Filmworks bar area, "Youse girls got dates?" in his best Lurch-like voice. It never failed to make us both laugh and we always agreed to be his date.

My friendship with each of them grew over time, and I'll never forget the first time I was invited to their annual Fire In The Hole party. You have to be a pretty special friend to the Leonards to be invited to their little limestone quarry down in rural Bedford. Consider the fact that directions are not only helpful but necessary to get there and you get the picture. For the uninitiated, let's just say you turn off the gravel road. :) This Fire In The Hole party is an annual October event. Held in mid-October each year, it was an opportunity to sit around a big fire, in the rock quarry (the 'hole'), drink adult beverages and make food over the intensely (!!!) hot fire. Many good stories have come from this event -- and my favorites involve the many trips to the top of the quarry (4 wheel drive REQUIRED) to visit the cabin, spray cheese, green apple martini mix (out of classy plastic cups) and the many types of shared goodies amongst friends. This party was rustic, no doubt, with your choice of a tent outhouse or a goodly hike to the top of the quarry to use the "real" outhouse. Many would stay overnight, sleeping in the cabin (if you made your reservations early for the non-electric, woodstove-heated cabin) or on the floor of the quarry. Those who stayed the night (as was requested if you'd hit the adult beverages too hard -- those turns out of the quarry plus the county roads out were wicked) often cooked breakfast over the remnants of the fire. Friends of Lu and Steve's from years past, along with family, were invited to this party to talk about the latest events from the year gone by. It can be said that some people started out by bringing their kids to the party ... and are now bringing grandkids.

After a few years of being invited to their cabin with outdoor plumbing, I hit the mother-lode of Leonard friendship -- an invite to their place in Venice, Florida. This was shortly after my divorce and I don't have to say that I was feeling as low as a person can get. I called just a few weeks before, checking in with Lu and Steve as I often did, when the invitation was extended for me to come on down. That week with Lu and Steve restored my soul, restored my faith in marriage (at least a little) and made me realize just how lucky I was to be their friend. Steve made a point to tell me that I was a good person, that he had had his own problems in marriages gone by, but that Luana was the best thing that ever happened to him. He told me to hang in there and know that I would find someone. When I think back on that week, I can say, truly, I was healed in a way I'm not sure I've ever really appreciated until now.

So it is now that I say I am a good friend -- good enough to be invited to places with both outdoor AND indoor plumbing. This is a very high rating in the Leonard Friendship Scale.

I was to have breakfast with Steve and his friends in Venice, FL in early October. He was coming down to check on the winter palace before their long sojourn in January/February to celebrate birthdays and their anniversary. I was to meet him at N'tinos, a little restaurant close to their place "on the island" at Venice for the breakfast special ($2.35 for eggs, toast, potatoes and coffee -- a total joy for the frugal people we are) and to catch up. I cannot imagine that I won't see him then. His big bear hug and "taking care" of Lu and I were things I counted on from him.

Ten years. That's how long I've known Lu and Steve. To be sure, it was always Lu and Steve, not just Lu and not just Steve. Two better-matched lovers, friends and spouses I've never seen. I love you both, am thankful for you both and I will miss the two of you together.

So, yes, Steve, I've got a date with you and Lu again ... someday, somewhere. Until then, I raise a bottle of Miller Lite to you -- toasting one of the finest men I've ever known.