Last night was good. Went out for a beverage after work with Mary and Lee to celebrate a recent, much-hoped-for, unexpected blessing. It's not my place to say what it is (as it is personal to them) but suffice to say I was delighted to share in the toasting to good fortune.
The original plan was for Mary and I to have a beverage to alleviate my sore heart. As I said to Lee last night, it was much nicer to toast to joy than pain.
I've been thinking about this whole thing with Rugby. I guess I'm most upset with myself, as I let myself fall for someone so clearly undeserving of me. I was drawn into his life because I found him interesting, funny, attractive and different from what I've dated before. I thought he was as into me as I was to him ... and perhaps, at one time, that was true. I'll never know. What I do know is this: although I am hurt by his actions, I cannot change them/nor him, so I must accept what is and move on.
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