And I thought *I* had dated some freaks ...

I must share this story because it nearly caused me to drive off the road today. Many thanks to A1, the coworker who has, no doubt, dated the most freaks *ever*.

After an especially hilarious lunch with Angela, PM and A1 at the Shelbi Street Cafe (Bistro?), I was driving the gang back to campus. A1 had shared a number of stories over lunch which were, in turns, gross and hilarious. A1 has the perfect deadpan voice to tell the stories with, which only adds to the hilarity of the moment.

A1 says, well, you remember PPP. I say, 'what?' She says, 'you know, Ping Pong Paddle.' I, PM and Angela answer resoundingly: 'no.'

Turns out A1 had a rather good date with a patent attorney and had invited him back to her place for a little make out session. While they were making out in her room (fully clothed, mind you), he excuses himself to go to the restroom. Upon his return, he is carrying her hairbrush. (yes, hairbrush). He explains that had he known that things were going to go that far on this date, he would have brought his own ping pong paddle for her to spank him with but since he did not bring it, he thought perhaps her hairbrush would do the job.

*pause*

Yes, indeedy, dear readers, not only was she with a bona-fide spanking fool but he normally brings his own hardware for the job. But alas, alack, without his prized spanking tool, he rifled through her bathroom in search of a suitable replacement and came up with ... her hairbrush.

*pause*

Now, dear readers, this is where I pause, because, let's be honest, how many of us have had the spanking conversation on the first date? Let alone brought our own hardware for the job? Seriously. I cried with laughter. It was all I could do to drive the car.

I make no comment nor pass no judgement on those interested in spanking. What I find hysterical is that he apparently felt quite at home searching her bathroom for a suitable spanking replacement for his beloved ping pong paddle.

And thus, in the history of dating, he became known as PPP. And no, there wasn't a second date. Although, for the record, I am certain that A1 could have spanked his ass with authority. ;)