Tuesday, April 12, 2011

I'm hot (already)

Really, folks, my ancestry is a bunch of northern Europeans -- pale as milk.  My 'people' freckle at the word "sun" used in a sentence, burn to a color known as "fire-engine red" and cannot tolerate heat much above 75 degrees (F).

So here I am in Southwest Florida.

Yeah.

It is "unseasonably warm" right now, which translates into low 90s instead of upper 80s (yes, dear readers, a swing of approximately FIVE WHOLE DEGREES).  The humidity is high -- much like being covered in a sopping wet quilt.  I sweat before I get OUT of bed, even with the air conditioning on.

Yes, the AC is on.  Much to my shame.  I gave in yesterday.  It was too damn hot to breathe in my house without it.

For six months out of the year, Florida is a delightful place to live.  Warm temperatures, low humidity, few insects, copious amounts of sunshine.

The other six months? 

The reason why people leave this God-forsaken state.  90+ every day.  Humidity not lower than 90%.  Insects the size of small dogs.  Blinding sun followed by thunderstorms, followed by blinding sun again.

I am in the other six months now.  I wear 70 SPF every day.  Yes, EVERY DAY.  On the plus side of that 70 SPF every day?  My dermatologist -- yes, I have a dermatologist -- said the other day: "you aren't a native Floridian, are you?"  Translation: I don't look like shoe leather/alligator hide.

In two weeks I should know something.  Two Weeks. 

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