Some days you are the windshield,

some days you are the bug.

How appropos.

I've been driving a fair bit lately and, well, it is love bug season here in Florida.  What does that mean, you ask?  My windshield looks like a teenager's face -- and so does my car.

So I take the car to a carwash here.  It has been recommended numerous times to me as the best around.  Hell, they *won* best-of awards.

My car is dirty.  Covered in a whole lot of dead love-bugs.   I pull up, pay my $20 (oh yeah, $20, which is why the following FRIED MY ASS), and let them do what they do.

Car wash*
interior vacuum
windows cleaned*
underbody clean
tire shine
hot wax
hand dried

I don't like paying $20 but that is the going rate here for a decent place with all of the above.  I take myself inside, pay the cashier and wait for my car to pull out. 

The car is dried, I tip the guys and off I go, across the street from the carwash to a furniture store.  When I get out of my car I discover two things:

1.  There are still splotches of dead bugs all over the front of my car
2.  There is still bird "do" on my passenger rear window.

Now I am STONE COLD pissed off.  I mean, dude, seriously.  First, $20 and second, it is hand dried meaning you would think someone, anyone, that does that notices that my car still has bugs on it and bird crap. 

I return to the car wash.

You'd think that in these times of economic crisis and a $20 car wash easily being a luxury item, I would hear apology.  I would hear "I'm sorry, let us run this through the car wash again for you, I'm sorry for your inconvenience."

Nope.  Nada. 

What did I hear?

"These bugs stains can etch the paint and it is likely we won't be able to get them off" and "Oh, yeah, I guess we could have gotten that off your window"

First, let's be real.  It's not that my car was any freaking cleaner when I first pulled up.  It had the same bugs on it.  Could I not hear that love bug "juice" is hard to get off a car when I pull up? 

Second, I don't want nonsense when it is clear you didn't do your job.  The bird shit?  I mean, really.

So, Bonita Bubbles, you've lost a customer.  I won't be back.  And I will tell everyone I know that you don't have one iota of customer service no matter how freaking expensive your carwash may be.