The darkest reaches of your soul -- bared to another

I'm not perfect.

There.  I said it.

Not that I've ever claimed to be perfect but somehow, someway, we all get put on a pedestal by someone at some time.  I'm just your average mid-30s divorced chick with some stuff in my past I'd rather not examine too closely anymore -- let alone share it with someone.

It's not that I haven't thought about those things.  Been in therapy for them, in fact.  I just don't want to relive the sickening moments where I let myself down.  Having someone else judge me is one thing, judging myself -- oh yeah, that voice just doesn't know when to STFU.

I've forgiven myself for the mistakes I've made and have shut the door on them, with renewed hope and ferverent interest that I never, ever repeat those moments again. 

So there is a potential love interest out there (yes, dear Readers, I've been holding out on you and no he isn't a matter for public discussion at the moment), and I wanted to come clean with my mistakes, so as to "start fresh" as it were.  We talked last night and I told him the story.

His response: "That's in the past, stop beating yourself up about it. We all make mistakes." 

Wow. 

I felt accepted as I am, mistakes and all.  I can't possibly describe to you the relief I felt -- it was as if that 'blanket of worry and doubt' had been lifted and replaced by pure, unadulterated sunshine and hope.

I feel light today -- and have a smile on my face that just won't come off.