Kids.

In the last 24 hours, I've heard from friends about their kids.  From the cutest video ever (!) to a horrid story of a kid who knows better and was taught better doing an unbelieveably boneheaded thing.

It makes me think.

Here I am -- 37 years of age, no kids, no prospects for kids on the horizon.  Am I missing something?  Am I truly fulfilled by my no kid life?  What will life be like when I live with Hoosier Guy and his kids?  Will that truly show me what having kids is all about or will it be just an open window into that life?

The first time I talked about having kids was with my first fiance.  He wanted kids before he was 30 (he was 6 years older than I) and I balked.  I didn't want kids at 24.

The next time I talked about kids was with the Hex.  We got married when I was 29 and we talked about having a kiddo in the next few years of our marriage, as he had a son and wanted another child.  By year two, I knew we weren't going to have kids and I wanted to revisit the notion of marriage itself.  By year three, we were in the process of divorce. 

After that episode, I pretty much resigned myself to no kids, not unless I met someone with kids or who wanted to have a kid.  I like kids, I like other people's kids, I enjoy being around kids -- I just don't have any.

It is times like the last 24 hours that I realize that parenting and children are a series of high highs and low lows, much like life itself.

I'm sure my friends who are parents will tell me I've missed out on the experience of having children.  They are right -- I have. 

What I haven't missed out on is the experience of being around children -- and for that I am profoundly grateful.