http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/
I have howled over this ... many of these could have been written by my mom.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
D-I-V-O-R-C-E
Christ, it is beginning to feel like a Tammy Wynette song around here.
First, I have a good friend who is having some problems with her husband. I'm working on getting them some help, the marriage looks like it can be saved. There is still hope for it.
Second, I hear that a co-worker, that I like very much, is soon to go through a divorce.
Third, another friend is in the middle of a divorce. I get it, I understand.
I swear to God, after what I went through, I will have one hell of a hard time getting married again. I never want to walk through that wall of flames again. I had it easy too -- we had a prenup, no lawyers needed for the divorce -- but still. STILL. Awful. Horrible. Gut wrenching. Countless Hours of Therapy.
I would wish it on no one. Not my worst enemy in all the world.
Ever.
First, I have a good friend who is having some problems with her husband. I'm working on getting them some help, the marriage looks like it can be saved. There is still hope for it.
Second, I hear that a co-worker, that I like very much, is soon to go through a divorce.
Third, another friend is in the middle of a divorce. I get it, I understand.
I swear to God, after what I went through, I will have one hell of a hard time getting married again. I never want to walk through that wall of flames again. I had it easy too -- we had a prenup, no lawyers needed for the divorce -- but still. STILL. Awful. Horrible. Gut wrenching. Countless Hours of Therapy.
I would wish it on no one. Not my worst enemy in all the world.
Ever.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Happy Father's Day
to all the men who:
*are dads
*are stepdads
*are father-figures
*are role models to children (and take that role model role SERIOUSLY)
*show me, every day, that not all fathers behave as mine did, once upon a time.
Thank you. Thank you every day. Not just today, but everyday, for taking your commitment to your children seriously. You make me proud to know you, you make me happy you exist, you make me say a prayer for your safety and continued commitment to your children every day. I'm lucky to know you.
*are dads
*are stepdads
*are father-figures
*are role models to children (and take that role model role SERIOUSLY)
*show me, every day, that not all fathers behave as mine did, once upon a time.
Thank you. Thank you every day. Not just today, but everyday, for taking your commitment to your children seriously. You make me proud to know you, you make me happy you exist, you make me say a prayer for your safety and continued commitment to your children every day. I'm lucky to know you.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Thoughts on life, marriage and other bullshit.
I've been reading (and just finished) Elizabeth Gilbert's newest book, Committed. She's been an author for awhile, but her best known book to date is Eat, Pray, Love which will shortly come out as a movie starring Julia Roberts.
My Sister picked this up at Half-Price Books in Indy (sigh, I miss HPB). She read it, told me about it and told me that I would like it. She sent it to me a few weeks ago in the mail and I've just gotten around to finishing it.
I generally read pretty fast -- but this one, I wanted to absorb. In Eat, Pray, Love, she spoke of her marriage that had ended and how those emotional ties/physical longing were affecting her health and sense of self. I related -- and not just kinda -- to those feelings.
It will be ten years this fall since Hex and I met. I think about him more here than I ever did after we split in Indy -- and perhaps the best and only reason is that I feel less constrained, concerned and convinced that I will see him at every turn when he is 1200 miles away. It isn't that I think we couldn't be friends, in fact, that is what we were from the start ... and then it was more. I just know in my heart of hearts that Hex would always want more (all of his emails since the divorce [and they are numerous] have all said the same thing) and I, after finishing more than a year and some months of counseling both inside and outside of the marriage, am loathe to offer even meeting for coffee at this point. So perhaps friends is too strong of a term and acquaintances is too distant. I only know that I wish him happiness and hope he wishes the same for me.
In Committed, she discusses her study of marriage in the Western tradition and how it has evolved from a civil contract to a religious contract and now a odd combination of the two in American culture. As I see marriage as much more a civil event (taxes, inheritance and children's well-being all lead to that conclusion) than a religious one, I enjoyed her discussion. The book, overall, was a good read. For the married, to the want-to-be-married, to the never married, and the never-want-to-be-married-again, it offers a view of marriage through the eyes of a woman that had been married, did not want to be married again and who eventually, through circumstances surrounding her love for a man from Brazil, needed to be married again in order for both of them to reside in the U.S.
**********
A conversation that Scully and I had a few weeks ago still rings in my head. She asked me if I was still thinking about having children at some point. Yes, I told her, I'd love to have kids. Things aren't in line for that now and I don't want to go it alone. Being raised by a single mom (both prior to and after the divorce, thanks to Dad's alcoholism) definitely colored my perception of raising children alone, as I see how she struggled to make sure we had what we needed. Also, having been married before, and a stepmom to one, I got a taste of parenthood. Reminds me of a childhood rhyme Mom used to repeat to me: " ... when (it) was good (it) was very very good and when (it) was bad (it) was horrid."
Then there are the times I spend with Mary and her four stepkids, all of whom are great. I feel that ache, that twinge of wanting to be a part of a child's life each and every time I'm with them. I am reminded when I see Mary and Lee together, making a life for all six of them, that it CAN work, it CAN be done, even with a crazy-ass ex-wife in the mix. That brings me peace.
I know my own fears about marriage are rooted in my non-relationship with my Dad for most of my first 25 years. Those "in the know" are aware that my Dad was an alcoholic until nearly my 26th birthday. It was shortly before then that he dried out and hasn't had a drink since. While I hate the term "alcoholic" to describe him now, I use the term "non-practicing alcoholic" to describe it best. I know those years of not having a Dad in the truest sense of the word affected me more than I will probably ever comprehend. I sought father figures in others, and one of those was my Uncle Wayne. When he passed nearly 7 years ago, I was devastated. This was the Dad I had when my own Dad would not be one. When I think back to his generosity, kindness and loving nature, I know why I've allowed myself to trust men.
There was something that struck me a few weeks ago. I met someone that has a couple of kids. He's a single dad of sorts, getting a divorce. His youngest child is a daughter. When I met him, his toes were painted pink. His daughter wanted to play beauty shop and he let her paint his toes.
I was then, and I am now, jealous of the relationship she will have with her Dad.
I know that sounds ridiculous. I know it is just plain silly. I know all of these things. But what I also know is that this girl will have a nuanced and confident approach to men because of the kindness shown to her by her Dad. This was the kind of relationship I wish *I'd* have had with my Dad.
What would have happened if I would have actually had a relationship with my Dad for all of these 36 almost 37 years? Would I be who I am today? Would I be as hesitant of love? Would I freak out over commitment for fear it would end?
Like I said -- thoughts on life, marriage and other bullshit.
My Sister picked this up at Half-Price Books in Indy (sigh, I miss HPB). She read it, told me about it and told me that I would like it. She sent it to me a few weeks ago in the mail and I've just gotten around to finishing it.
I generally read pretty fast -- but this one, I wanted to absorb. In Eat, Pray, Love, she spoke of her marriage that had ended and how those emotional ties/physical longing were affecting her health and sense of self. I related -- and not just kinda -- to those feelings.
It will be ten years this fall since Hex and I met. I think about him more here than I ever did after we split in Indy -- and perhaps the best and only reason is that I feel less constrained, concerned and convinced that I will see him at every turn when he is 1200 miles away. It isn't that I think we couldn't be friends, in fact, that is what we were from the start ... and then it was more. I just know in my heart of hearts that Hex would always want more (all of his emails since the divorce [and they are numerous] have all said the same thing) and I, after finishing more than a year and some months of counseling both inside and outside of the marriage, am loathe to offer even meeting for coffee at this point. So perhaps friends is too strong of a term and acquaintances is too distant. I only know that I wish him happiness and hope he wishes the same for me.
In Committed, she discusses her study of marriage in the Western tradition and how it has evolved from a civil contract to a religious contract and now a odd combination of the two in American culture. As I see marriage as much more a civil event (taxes, inheritance and children's well-being all lead to that conclusion) than a religious one, I enjoyed her discussion. The book, overall, was a good read. For the married, to the want-to-be-married, to the never married, and the never-want-to-be-married-again, it offers a view of marriage through the eyes of a woman that had been married, did not want to be married again and who eventually, through circumstances surrounding her love for a man from Brazil, needed to be married again in order for both of them to reside in the U.S.
**********
A conversation that Scully and I had a few weeks ago still rings in my head. She asked me if I was still thinking about having children at some point. Yes, I told her, I'd love to have kids. Things aren't in line for that now and I don't want to go it alone. Being raised by a single mom (both prior to and after the divorce, thanks to Dad's alcoholism) definitely colored my perception of raising children alone, as I see how she struggled to make sure we had what we needed. Also, having been married before, and a stepmom to one, I got a taste of parenthood. Reminds me of a childhood rhyme Mom used to repeat to me: " ... when (it) was good (it) was very very good and when (it) was bad (it) was horrid."
Then there are the times I spend with Mary and her four stepkids, all of whom are great. I feel that ache, that twinge of wanting to be a part of a child's life each and every time I'm with them. I am reminded when I see Mary and Lee together, making a life for all six of them, that it CAN work, it CAN be done, even with a crazy-ass ex-wife in the mix. That brings me peace.
I know my own fears about marriage are rooted in my non-relationship with my Dad for most of my first 25 years. Those "in the know" are aware that my Dad was an alcoholic until nearly my 26th birthday. It was shortly before then that he dried out and hasn't had a drink since. While I hate the term "alcoholic" to describe him now, I use the term "non-practicing alcoholic" to describe it best. I know those years of not having a Dad in the truest sense of the word affected me more than I will probably ever comprehend. I sought father figures in others, and one of those was my Uncle Wayne. When he passed nearly 7 years ago, I was devastated. This was the Dad I had when my own Dad would not be one. When I think back to his generosity, kindness and loving nature, I know why I've allowed myself to trust men.
There was something that struck me a few weeks ago. I met someone that has a couple of kids. He's a single dad of sorts, getting a divorce. His youngest child is a daughter. When I met him, his toes were painted pink. His daughter wanted to play beauty shop and he let her paint his toes.
I was then, and I am now, jealous of the relationship she will have with her Dad.
I know that sounds ridiculous. I know it is just plain silly. I know all of these things. But what I also know is that this girl will have a nuanced and confident approach to men because of the kindness shown to her by her Dad. This was the kind of relationship I wish *I'd* have had with my Dad.
What would have happened if I would have actually had a relationship with my Dad for all of these 36 almost 37 years? Would I be who I am today? Would I be as hesitant of love? Would I freak out over commitment for fear it would end?
Like I said -- thoughts on life, marriage and other bullshit.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Heading back to Hoosierland
Two weeks from today, I'm bound for Indiana. I haven't been back "home" since December, so it has been more than awhile since my last visit.
The good news is that I'm catching up with family and friends at one big party at Mom's house on the 3rd. She has a gathering each year on the 3rd of July with plenty of food and fun -- and it will be nice to do some visiting all at once, rather than fifty visits all around La Porte County. I hate to be a whiner, but seriously, once I've traveled 1400 miles, get off your ass and come visit ME.
One of the required visits is to my Grandma. Dad's mom is 91, going on 92 this fall, and is getting shorter and failing more each year. She still gets around fine, does a small garden and whatnot, but it is clear that the years of having her around are growing shorter too.
Some of the other visits will include dinner with the Big Gay Mafia, lunch with some former Ivy colleagues/friends on Monday and general merriment.
Can't believe it has been so long since I've been there, but it will be good to get back.
The good news is that I'm catching up with family and friends at one big party at Mom's house on the 3rd. She has a gathering each year on the 3rd of July with plenty of food and fun -- and it will be nice to do some visiting all at once, rather than fifty visits all around La Porte County. I hate to be a whiner, but seriously, once I've traveled 1400 miles, get off your ass and come visit ME.
One of the required visits is to my Grandma. Dad's mom is 91, going on 92 this fall, and is getting shorter and failing more each year. She still gets around fine, does a small garden and whatnot, but it is clear that the years of having her around are growing shorter too.
Some of the other visits will include dinner with the Big Gay Mafia, lunch with some former Ivy colleagues/friends on Monday and general merriment.
Can't believe it has been so long since I've been there, but it will be good to get back.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Right on time (or not)
On Friday, May 28th, I put an offer on a house here in Fort Myers. It was (is) a short-sale, but the price was right and the space was good. Figured I'd make some money on it when I finally sold, whenever that was.
Come Sunday, May 30th, I head out to Seattle & Jefferson, OR for the week. Spent plenty of "me" time in the car and time with friends. It was just what I needed after a few weeks of unrelenting stress. My job has been insane lately and that is the up side of it.
I get back into town on June 7th. Now rethinking the whole-purchase-house-in-Fort-Myers thing, I call the Realtor and ask her to recind my offer. Call my banker on the 8th and tell him that I'm pulling out of the housing race until further notice. After my time in Seattle and Jefferson, I realized a few things that were stuck in the back of my mind (job nonsense, boss nonsense, life nonsense) that, when added all together, mean that I should take a little time to think things through. It was in Seattle, Saturday, June 5th on Scully's couch (while she and her hub were at work), that I realized that I had lots of options and settling for Fort Myers wasn't required of me. Not that I know what I'm doing, as I surely do not, but there are options available and exploring them might well be in my best interest.
I've spent the last week researching grad schools all over the U.S. and am leaning towards a few. Two of which are in in the Pacific Northwest. Yep, a life move again ... next summer ... somewhere.
About an hour ago, I get an email from my Realtor. Apparently the bank had screwed up the paperwork and just figured out they really want to accept my offer. I passed (again). Right on time (or not). All for the best, I think.
Come Sunday, May 30th, I head out to Seattle & Jefferson, OR for the week. Spent plenty of "me" time in the car and time with friends. It was just what I needed after a few weeks of unrelenting stress. My job has been insane lately and that is the up side of it.
I get back into town on June 7th. Now rethinking the whole-purchase-house-in-Fort-Myers thing, I call the Realtor and ask her to recind my offer. Call my banker on the 8th and tell him that I'm pulling out of the housing race until further notice. After my time in Seattle and Jefferson, I realized a few things that were stuck in the back of my mind (job nonsense, boss nonsense, life nonsense) that, when added all together, mean that I should take a little time to think things through. It was in Seattle, Saturday, June 5th on Scully's couch (while she and her hub were at work), that I realized that I had lots of options and settling for Fort Myers wasn't required of me. Not that I know what I'm doing, as I surely do not, but there are options available and exploring them might well be in my best interest.
I've spent the last week researching grad schools all over the U.S. and am leaning towards a few. Two of which are in in the Pacific Northwest. Yep, a life move again ... next summer ... somewhere.
About an hour ago, I get an email from my Realtor. Apparently the bank had screwed up the paperwork and just figured out they really want to accept my offer. I passed (again). Right on time (or not). All for the best, I think.
Living in Poverty
I spent this weekend thinking about the sacrifices I'd have to make to go back to school full-time. They are legion.
For one, I wouldn't be able to travel at the drop of a hat as I do now. My 43 vacation days per year would drop to whatever was the school calendar and I wouldn't get paid for those days off. My "play" money would be near zero.
My visitors would be few, but, depending on my location, I would have friends nearby.
All the schools I like best are in climates not nearly as warm as the one I am in.
I hate to say I've gotten quite used to living comfortably, but I have.
On the flip side, most of the reason I'm able to travel frequently and enjoy my life so well is that I'm a total and complete cheap-ass. ;)
So maybe this return to college is a chance to re-up my skills as a total frugalista.
******
In other somewhat-related news, I found out this week that there may be a new position created above me and both candidates that may fill it make me nauseated. Time to get the grad school apps in order.
For one, I wouldn't be able to travel at the drop of a hat as I do now. My 43 vacation days per year would drop to whatever was the school calendar and I wouldn't get paid for those days off. My "play" money would be near zero.
My visitors would be few, but, depending on my location, I would have friends nearby.
All the schools I like best are in climates not nearly as warm as the one I am in.
I hate to say I've gotten quite used to living comfortably, but I have.
On the flip side, most of the reason I'm able to travel frequently and enjoy my life so well is that I'm a total and complete cheap-ass. ;)
So maybe this return to college is a chance to re-up my skills as a total frugalista.
******
In other somewhat-related news, I found out this week that there may be a new position created above me and both candidates that may fill it make me nauseated. Time to get the grad school apps in order.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Dr. Athena or Why I Want A Fancy-Ass Degree
Eleven years ago this December I earned my Masters in Public Affairs, public administration major. I was 26, single, had my own house, dating on occasion and had a job I loved, dearly.
Since that time I've kicked the tires, over and over, of going back to school for that elusive Piled Higher and Deeper degree. Two years ago I had myself convinced to go to Indiana U for said degree, got my things together and reconsidered the whole notion of going back to school. Of course, I was in hell (also known as Ivy Tech), and my boss was, say, less-than-stellar so those plans were shelved a bit. Then Dad ended up with some health issues and all the sudden I was looking at relocation. I mean, how else to solve work issues and family issues than completely uprooting your whole existence. Right?
Sure.
I've applied to Florida International University in Miami for this fall for my Ph.D. in public administration. It isn't the end-all be-all of schools but it is the closest and my previous professors from IU said it would be acceptable.
Now I'm thinking of just biting the bullet and going back to school full-time. Suck it up, eat ramen & spaghetti-os, and become a full-time nerd. I'll be 37 this fall. I'd be done by the time I'm in my early 40s.
Yeah, I've gotten quite used to the money I make. That's going to be a rough transition. Plus add in the fact that I haven't been inside of the classroom in 11 years and, well, the gray matter has been significantly decreased by consumption of all things adult beverage-related. :)
I'm signing up for a couple of classes this fall at the local university in town -- getting my feet wet, getting some grades out there that are recent. Will apply to some colleges in January with hopes of notice of admission by March.
This time, next year ... who knows where I'll be.
Since that time I've kicked the tires, over and over, of going back to school for that elusive Piled Higher and Deeper degree. Two years ago I had myself convinced to go to Indiana U for said degree, got my things together and reconsidered the whole notion of going back to school. Of course, I was in hell (also known as Ivy Tech), and my boss was, say, less-than-stellar so those plans were shelved a bit. Then Dad ended up with some health issues and all the sudden I was looking at relocation. I mean, how else to solve work issues and family issues than completely uprooting your whole existence. Right?
Sure.
I've applied to Florida International University in Miami for this fall for my Ph.D. in public administration. It isn't the end-all be-all of schools but it is the closest and my previous professors from IU said it would be acceptable.
Now I'm thinking of just biting the bullet and going back to school full-time. Suck it up, eat ramen & spaghetti-os, and become a full-time nerd. I'll be 37 this fall. I'd be done by the time I'm in my early 40s.
Yeah, I've gotten quite used to the money I make. That's going to be a rough transition. Plus add in the fact that I haven't been inside of the classroom in 11 years and, well, the gray matter has been significantly decreased by consumption of all things adult beverage-related. :)
I'm signing up for a couple of classes this fall at the local university in town -- getting my feet wet, getting some grades out there that are recent. Will apply to some colleges in January with hopes of notice of admission by March.
This time, next year ... who knows where I'll be.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Telling the parents/the changes continue
The actual, purchased art
The "abstract, modern art" -- also known as packing materials
The view from my office window (my personal "art")
Sister was, of course, supportive of whatever. She's known for awhile my frustrations here (aside from my job -- which I LOVE -- this place is crazytown) and knows that I wouldn't be here forever.
Mom was supportive, even when I told her I might get crazy and go back to school full-time for my Ph.D. She might have thought me a little crazy to go back to eating ramen and spaghetti-os but overall, supportive. I think she was a titch more uptight about losing her south Florida vacation spot. :)
Dad -- well. Hmm. Dad never gets upset about much but hearing that I was calling off the house search in FL sent him into a frenzy. He's used to having me around here now (he lives two hours north, near Tampa) and God Only Knows his life with the Stepmom has been anything but roses lately. There are times I think I'm his only bit of sanity. His next suggestion after hearing that I may get crazy and do something else was that I should move to Tampa and work for University of South Florida "because they have a really good school up there." That and I'd be a half-hour from his house all add up to no, thank you. Love my Dad, not-so-much-loving the tension at his house these days. You'd think after 20 years of marriage they'd get it together but I'm not so sure anymore.
******
Dropped by the apartment office last night after work. Last month I signed a month-to-month lease because I was house hunting and it made sense. Now that I've dropped that idea, I asked them to sign me up for another 10 month lease. Ended up talking to the apt manager, S, for a few minutes, just shooting the shit. She wanted to know if I was alright at my job here (yes), what was going on (life) and then proceeded to tell me she understood. Seems that I'm not the only one here that is frustrated with the retiree-centered lifestyle.
Trying to sign up for a class this fall at FGCU in Data Analysis for Public Service. Basically, if I'm going to get the Ph.D. I need to bone up on my stats and math skills again. It has been *cough* eleven years since I've sat in a stats class and I can't tell you I learned much then.
Still haven't heard from FIU on the Ph.D. program there yet. Am thinking if that doesn't play out, I'm broadening the field a bit.
Sent a job lead to my cousin in Indy. He's 11 years older than I am, great guy, just went through a divorce last year. I think he's still trying to unbury and I can surely relate. He's working in a job he isn't sure he likes, so perhaps a new job would create some options for him. If nothing else, I think he'd be great on the faculty there.
Played a practical joke on some coworkers today with my friend Mary. We had pulled out this strange-looking recycled cardboard mat-thingy from a packing box and after a few discussions of what it could be used for, we decided to hang it behind a coworker's desk as "modern art." Well, she came in today and LOVED it and so did another coworker. While I was silently howling in my office, I sent a text to Mary telling her to get in here, that both other coworkers were asking me where she got this "great piece of art."
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Pulling the Trigger.
I think in many ways, it is easier to give in to fear and uncertainty than confront the truth of the matter and take the unknown route.
Back in Indy, I bought my last house/condo because I was tired of paying rent and it seemed like the thing to do. Looking back, I probably should have reviewed that decision a little closer, because as soon as it was purchased, I wondered what it would be like to live somewhere else. That niggling little thought turned into a whole life relocation in June 2009 and that condo being sold in September 2009.
Since the condo sale, I've been thinking about buying a house here in FL. I've thought long and hard about what it would mean to buy here and I have even put four offers on four houses. The latest house offer was put out there right before I left for OR/WA.
While in OR/WA, I had some time to myself -- whether in the car traveling, the plane or even at Scully's house -- and a clear mind, free of work distractions, to really think about what it is that I want.
What I realized is this: my boss, whom I love dearly and would walk over red-hot coals for, won't be here in two years. She will retire and shortly thereafter, the President of the college will retire as well. The culture of a college is always in line with the temperment of the leadership -- and without her here, the unknowns are numerous.
What I also realized is something more -- where I live now is a family or retirement oriented area. Given that I am not married, have no children and am not as close to retirement as I'd like, the options for my social life, let alone dating, are severely limited.
And then it was Scully, who asked me if I was still thinking of having kids someday -- and I replied that you had to have sex to have kids and that hadn't happened in a long time.
All of these things together: my desire for a family, my desire for an active social life and my concern for the culture of ESC -- mean only one thing.
Don't buy the house. Not here. Not yet.
So I pulled the trigger this morning. Told my Realtor to cancel the bid (I was one of many, the bank was deciding).
No other major changes for at least twelve months.
Back in Indy, I bought my last house/condo because I was tired of paying rent and it seemed like the thing to do. Looking back, I probably should have reviewed that decision a little closer, because as soon as it was purchased, I wondered what it would be like to live somewhere else. That niggling little thought turned into a whole life relocation in June 2009 and that condo being sold in September 2009.
Since the condo sale, I've been thinking about buying a house here in FL. I've thought long and hard about what it would mean to buy here and I have even put four offers on four houses. The latest house offer was put out there right before I left for OR/WA.
While in OR/WA, I had some time to myself -- whether in the car traveling, the plane or even at Scully's house -- and a clear mind, free of work distractions, to really think about what it is that I want.
What I realized is this: my boss, whom I love dearly and would walk over red-hot coals for, won't be here in two years. She will retire and shortly thereafter, the President of the college will retire as well. The culture of a college is always in line with the temperment of the leadership -- and without her here, the unknowns are numerous.
What I also realized is something more -- where I live now is a family or retirement oriented area. Given that I am not married, have no children and am not as close to retirement as I'd like, the options for my social life, let alone dating, are severely limited.
And then it was Scully, who asked me if I was still thinking of having kids someday -- and I replied that you had to have sex to have kids and that hadn't happened in a long time.
All of these things together: my desire for a family, my desire for an active social life and my concern for the culture of ESC -- mean only one thing.
Don't buy the house. Not here. Not yet.
So I pulled the trigger this morning. Told my Realtor to cancel the bid (I was one of many, the bank was deciding).
No other major changes for at least twelve months.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Traveling (a love story)
I can't remember which Jimmy Buffett song exactly it is, but the chorus is "I've got nomad feet and wanderin' toes" and whenever I hear the song, I really relate to it.
Traveling out to the Pacific NW has been on my radar for years -- I wanted to see the Teacher again for ever and ever, but time, circumstance and cash flow were always out of agreement. The Hex and I had even talked about heading out there but truly, by that time, I didn't want to cross town with him, let alone the country.
After last year's mega travels between Indy and FM, plus other travels around, I had enough trips to get a free round trip wherever. I used part of it for Mom's trip back in February (she needed out of Indiana more than anything else at that time), and at that same time, I booked my trip for Seattle/Jefferson. Regrets -- only that I wish I'd spent a week at each location, wandering the countryside.
Aside from Scully and the Teacher, I was able to reconnect with some college friends I hadn't seen in seventeen years. Just like that, we were transported back to Nevada, MO and our shared college experience -- and those seventeen years vanished without a trace.
This next week I'll be in Orlando for a day, visiting with the Sharkfamily (yeah!) and my Sissy will be here too. Tomorrow I bid goodbye to my Auntie N and Uncle R, who have been kind enough to housesit and take care of the furry children while I've been gone. Wednesday brings my Sissy and this weekend we travel up to Tampa to hang out with Dad and family. Finally, next Wednesday is Sharkfamily Day at Disney. :)
Then I take a couple of weeks off traveling, then to Indiana to see the fam.
Nomad feet and wanderin' toes -- Indeed.
Traveling out to the Pacific NW has been on my radar for years -- I wanted to see the Teacher again for ever and ever, but time, circumstance and cash flow were always out of agreement. The Hex and I had even talked about heading out there but truly, by that time, I didn't want to cross town with him, let alone the country.
After last year's mega travels between Indy and FM, plus other travels around, I had enough trips to get a free round trip wherever. I used part of it for Mom's trip back in February (she needed out of Indiana more than anything else at that time), and at that same time, I booked my trip for Seattle/Jefferson. Regrets -- only that I wish I'd spent a week at each location, wandering the countryside.
Aside from Scully and the Teacher, I was able to reconnect with some college friends I hadn't seen in seventeen years. Just like that, we were transported back to Nevada, MO and our shared college experience -- and those seventeen years vanished without a trace.
This next week I'll be in Orlando for a day, visiting with the Sharkfamily (yeah!) and my Sissy will be here too. Tomorrow I bid goodbye to my Auntie N and Uncle R, who have been kind enough to housesit and take care of the furry children while I've been gone. Wednesday brings my Sissy and this weekend we travel up to Tampa to hang out with Dad and family. Finally, next Wednesday is Sharkfamily Day at Disney. :)
Then I take a couple of weeks off traveling, then to Indiana to see the fam.
Nomad feet and wanderin' toes -- Indeed.
General Observations of a Week in the Pacific Northwest
Two posts today – one is general observations of my trip, the other is traveling in general.
General observations: in Oregon, you don’t pump your own gas. Seriously. The little guy comes out, gets your credit card/cash and pumps it for you. Apparently illegal to pump your own gas there – and let me tell you, I could not get used to it. I figured I’d cause an incident so I just waited until returning to WA to refill the tank. The Teacher wouldn’t stop for gas at Costco (closed on Memorial Day) and then when we arrived at the next station, she just sat there. I was like, WTF is going on? I certainly spend no extra moment of MY life at a gas station and here she was relaxing in the seat like we were at a spa. Guy comes up, takes the card and pumps the gas. Meanwhile, another guy cleans the windows. Bizarro.
Oregon and Washington are two incredibly beautiful states that I need to return to in the near future. I was able to see some highlights but nothing like what I would see if I had more time.
Although 15 years had passed since laying eyes on the Teacher, it was as if we had seen each other the week before. She and I have maintained our friendship through letters, emails and a very rare phone call – and yet we were right back there with it, hanging together as if no time had passed at all. Her husband, SOC (for Short-Order Chef), made a mean breakfast each day I was there and apparently does this each morning. Is this heaven? No, this is life at my friend the Teacher’s house. Nice. Jealous, yes I am.
My liver and my heart may need transplants thanks to this trip. I ate and drank to my heart’s content and now I think I had better make appointments with the doctor and the gym immediately. Regrets – none.
The Oregon coast is more beautiful than I had imagined, and I had imagined paradise. Awesome.
Sherwin-Williams received all their “green” inspiration from WA and OR. Literally, a million shades of green there, in various shades from super light to super dark. I was and am astounded by all the variations in green there can be in nature.
The Washington leg of the trip was just as awesome, with a trip to the Mariners’ game and downtown Seattle, to a really strange trip to Woodinville for winery tastings (in a warehouse district – near auto body shops (WTF)) and just relaxing at home with a movie (Dear John – a boo hoo’er if there ever was one).
Also on the trip, I met a very attractive guy. I won’t out him here, he knows who he is – and meeting him was a highlight. For the first time in a long time, I felt truly alive. If for nothing else, thank you, you sexy fucker you. Amen.
General observations: in Oregon, you don’t pump your own gas. Seriously. The little guy comes out, gets your credit card/cash and pumps it for you. Apparently illegal to pump your own gas there – and let me tell you, I could not get used to it. I figured I’d cause an incident so I just waited until returning to WA to refill the tank. The Teacher wouldn’t stop for gas at Costco (closed on Memorial Day) and then when we arrived at the next station, she just sat there. I was like, WTF is going on? I certainly spend no extra moment of MY life at a gas station and here she was relaxing in the seat like we were at a spa. Guy comes up, takes the card and pumps the gas. Meanwhile, another guy cleans the windows. Bizarro.
Oregon and Washington are two incredibly beautiful states that I need to return to in the near future. I was able to see some highlights but nothing like what I would see if I had more time.
Although 15 years had passed since laying eyes on the Teacher, it was as if we had seen each other the week before. She and I have maintained our friendship through letters, emails and a very rare phone call – and yet we were right back there with it, hanging together as if no time had passed at all. Her husband, SOC (for Short-Order Chef), made a mean breakfast each day I was there and apparently does this each morning. Is this heaven? No, this is life at my friend the Teacher’s house. Nice. Jealous, yes I am.
My liver and my heart may need transplants thanks to this trip. I ate and drank to my heart’s content and now I think I had better make appointments with the doctor and the gym immediately. Regrets – none.
The Oregon coast is more beautiful than I had imagined, and I had imagined paradise. Awesome.
Sherwin-Williams received all their “green” inspiration from WA and OR. Literally, a million shades of green there, in various shades from super light to super dark. I was and am astounded by all the variations in green there can be in nature.
The Washington leg of the trip was just as awesome, with a trip to the Mariners’ game and downtown Seattle, to a really strange trip to Woodinville for winery tastings (in a warehouse district – near auto body shops (WTF)) and just relaxing at home with a movie (Dear John – a boo hoo’er if there ever was one).
Also on the trip, I met a very attractive guy. I won’t out him here, he knows who he is – and meeting him was a highlight. For the first time in a long time, I felt truly alive. If for nothing else, thank you, you sexy fucker you. Amen.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Quote of the day
"Do we have to eat the cock and balls tonight?"
http://voodoodoughnut.com/menu.php
enjoy -- I did :)
http://voodoodoughnut.com/menu.php
enjoy -- I did :)
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