Pulling the Trigger.

I think in many ways, it is easier to give in to fear and uncertainty than confront the truth of the matter and take the unknown route.

Back in Indy, I bought my last house/condo because I was tired of paying rent and it seemed like the thing to do.  Looking back, I probably should have reviewed that decision a little closer, because as soon as it was purchased, I wondered what it would be like to live somewhere else.  That niggling little thought turned into a whole life relocation in June 2009 and that condo being sold in September 2009.

Since the condo sale, I've been thinking about buying a house here in FL.  I've thought long and hard about what it would mean to buy here and I have even put four offers on four houses.  The latest house offer was put out there right before I left for OR/WA.

While in OR/WA, I had some time to myself -- whether in the car traveling, the plane or even at Scully's house -- and a clear mind, free of work distractions, to really think about what it is that I want.

What I realized is this: my boss, whom I love dearly and would walk over red-hot coals for, won't be here in two years.  She will retire and shortly thereafter, the President of the college will retire as well.  The culture of a college is always in line with the temperment of the leadership -- and without her here, the unknowns are numerous. 

What I also realized is something more -- where I live now is a family or retirement oriented area.  Given that I am not married, have no children and am not as close to retirement as I'd like, the options for my social life, let alone dating, are severely limited. 

And then it was Scully, who asked me if I was still thinking of having kids someday -- and I replied that you had to have sex to have kids and that hadn't happened in a long time. 

All of these things together: my desire for a family, my desire for an active social life and my concern for the culture of ESC -- mean only one thing.

Don't buy the house.  Not here.  Not yet.

So I pulled the trigger this morning.  Told my Realtor to cancel the bid (I was one of many, the bank was deciding). 

No other major changes for at least twelve months.