My friend Steve

How does one describe a friend?

Steve Leonard is the loving husband of my friend Luana. I cannot bring myself to say was, as I know, just as I know myownself, that Steve loved Luana every day and would never said he "had" loved her, just that he did.

I first met Steve in the fall of 1999. I had recently changed jobs, from the Department of Workforce Development to the Department of Commerce at the state. Luana was one of my coworkers. Lu was welcoming and helpful ... and soon after I started there I found that we shared a love of all things cheap: flea markets, yard sales, frugal tips and both had an ongoing regular trip to the Hollywood Bar and Filmworks.

For Lu and Steve, it was Monday nights. It was half-price beer night, you see, and that and a pizza were Steve's idea of a real good night. One Monday afternoon, Lu asked if I wanted to go that night and I said yes. It was at Hollywood that I first met Steve.

Steve accepted me right away, as any friend of his wife's was a friend of his. I cannot remember that night's film, but I can tell you that many a Monday night over the next few years were spent in Lu and Steve's company. I can say truthfully that I've seen more movies with Lu and Steve than I've seen with anyone else, ever. As Steve would always say, without fail, as we entered the Hollywood Bar & Filmworks bar area, "Youse girls got dates?" in his best Lurch-like voice. It never failed to make us both laugh and we always agreed to be his date.

My friendship with each of them grew over time, and I'll never forget the first time I was invited to their annual Fire In The Hole party. You have to be a pretty special friend to the Leonards to be invited to their little limestone quarry down in rural Bedford. Consider the fact that directions are not only helpful but necessary to get there and you get the picture. For the uninitiated, let's just say you turn off the gravel road. :) This Fire In The Hole party is an annual October event. Held in mid-October each year, it was an opportunity to sit around a big fire, in the rock quarry (the 'hole'), drink adult beverages and make food over the intensely (!!!) hot fire. Many good stories have come from this event -- and my favorites involve the many trips to the top of the quarry (4 wheel drive REQUIRED) to visit the cabin, spray cheese, green apple martini mix (out of classy plastic cups) and the many types of shared goodies amongst friends. This party was rustic, no doubt, with your choice of a tent outhouse or a goodly hike to the top of the quarry to use the "real" outhouse. Many would stay overnight, sleeping in the cabin (if you made your reservations early for the non-electric, woodstove-heated cabin) or on the floor of the quarry. Those who stayed the night (as was requested if you'd hit the adult beverages too hard -- those turns out of the quarry plus the county roads out were wicked) often cooked breakfast over the remnants of the fire. Friends of Lu and Steve's from years past, along with family, were invited to this party to talk about the latest events from the year gone by. It can be said that some people started out by bringing their kids to the party ... and are now bringing grandkids.

After a few years of being invited to their cabin with outdoor plumbing, I hit the mother-lode of Leonard friendship -- an invite to their place in Venice, Florida. This was shortly after my divorce and I don't have to say that I was feeling as low as a person can get. I called just a few weeks before, checking in with Lu and Steve as I often did, when the invitation was extended for me to come on down. That week with Lu and Steve restored my soul, restored my faith in marriage (at least a little) and made me realize just how lucky I was to be their friend. Steve made a point to tell me that I was a good person, that he had had his own problems in marriages gone by, but that Luana was the best thing that ever happened to him. He told me to hang in there and know that I would find someone. When I think back on that week, I can say, truly, I was healed in a way I'm not sure I've ever really appreciated until now.

So it is now that I say I am a good friend -- good enough to be invited to places with both outdoor AND indoor plumbing. This is a very high rating in the Leonard Friendship Scale.

I was to have breakfast with Steve and his friends in Venice, FL in early October. He was coming down to check on the winter palace before their long sojourn in January/February to celebrate birthdays and their anniversary. I was to meet him at N'tinos, a little restaurant close to their place "on the island" at Venice for the breakfast special ($2.35 for eggs, toast, potatoes and coffee -- a total joy for the frugal people we are) and to catch up. I cannot imagine that I won't see him then. His big bear hug and "taking care" of Lu and I were things I counted on from him.

Ten years. That's how long I've known Lu and Steve. To be sure, it was always Lu and Steve, not just Lu and not just Steve. Two better-matched lovers, friends and spouses I've never seen. I love you both, am thankful for you both and I will miss the two of you together.

So, yes, Steve, I've got a date with you and Lu again ... someday, somewhere. Until then, I raise a bottle of Miller Lite to you -- toasting one of the finest men I've ever known.

Long Frickin' Week

And am seeking anything to amuse myself.

Try this:

http://lovelylisting.com/

hi-larious.

Where do I start?

Last week's triumverate of madness, sadness and general disarray continues.

I will speak of one of these things, but only one. The other two still sit on my heart, wearing me down and out -- with a sense of wonder and disillusionment.

Last week I was checking Facebook, as I am wont to do. On FB, I discover that my friend L returned from working overnight to find her husband, in the kitchen, bleeding from a pretty serious headwound. Apparently he had fallen and was refusing to seek medical attention. L convinced him (and by convincing, I mean offering him a choice between: willingly leaving for hospital, going by ambulance or being Tased) to go to the hospital for stitches in his head. It was a deep wound and ugly as all get out.

Upon arrival at the hospital, S (the husband) was offered sutures (which he declined) and then was told even if he declined sutures, they were keeping him anyway for a CT scan. The scan showed severe bleeding on the brain and bruising in both the front and back of his brain.

Shortly after that, S went into a coma and has remained in the hospital since. On Saturday night/Sunday early morning, he opened his eyes for the first time since Tuesday. This is not to say he is out of the woods, far from it, but he is alive.

My wonderful Sister (and Boy Wonder) was kind enough to deliver a care package for them from me yesterday. It was all I could do from here while wishing I could do so much more.

This is the second friend this year that has had a horrible experience like this.

Please take it from me -- love one another. Be thankful for each other. Be thankful for the time you have together. Tell people that you love them. Tell them that you care. Be there for them. There is no guarantees of tomorrow, barely a guarantee of the next minute.

*****************************

Some days.

The last 24 hours have been a rollercoaster for me.

I received three separate bits of news about friends and family -- none of it good. Right now I am just taking a moment to be thankful for:

my family
my friends
my health
my job
my apartment
my life

None of the three things are anything I feel I can expound upon, as it would not be fair/appropriate to those involved. You Know Who You Are and you know that I love you.

Things I know now.

Drinking wine with someone who drinks wine for a living is a lose-lose proposition. One, she just keeps pouring the wine b/c she can drink infinitely more than you and two, the wine is crazy potent.

Driving home this morning I looked like a PSA for teenagers on "the evils of alcohol." My hair looked like that Nick Nolte mugshot, my mouth had a taste I'd rather not describe and it was way way way way too sunny out. I would have worn two pairs of sunglasses but I'm sure that would have been overdoing it for the Sunday morning drive to church crowd.

The moral of the story is, kids, think about who you are drinking with before imbibing the first drink. It is a hell of a slippery slope after and I can tell you that I am h-u-r-t-i-n-g today.

Meeting on Saturday.

I just RSVP'd to a meeting I have to attend:

a) for work
b) in Tampa
c) on Saturday

I am cranky already. Boo Hiss to Saturday meetings.

Labor Day Weekend wrap-up

(CCM: this is the woman from Indy's airport heading to Ft. Myers. Please add this to our list of Fashion Nos. Thank you.)

OMG, am so tired today. I wish I had taken today off. When I walked in, the office secretary asked me how my weekend was and I told her "great, but never let me schedule an out of town weekend again without the following day off work." She laughed, then said she'd help me out next time.

I was able to spend time with Sister and Boy Wonder and see their absolutely fabulous house. It is very "home" already for them (and for visitors like myself as well) and looks great. I am excited to see what changes happen in the coming weeks and months. I'm sure the continued painting and fixing up of the place will make it even more "home" soon.

Mom's side of the family converged upon Sister and Boy Wonder's house on Saturday ... so I was able to do some serious visiting with them all at once, which made my day go fast. Saturday night I headed off to a get together with some former coworkers at the Rib Fest. Loverboy was playing as we were there and I did manage to get some high quality people watching in while we were there. I almost wish I had brought a lawn chair just to sit and look at people. Truly fascinating. A2 managed to catch a picture of the most henious outfit ever worn in public but unfortunately, I accidentally deleted it from my phone. A2, please resend it to me. I need to post it for posterity's sake. We called it a night around 9 and I was back at Sister and Boy Wonder's house, getting ready for Sunday's roadtrip to LP.

Got up at the crack o'dawn on Sunday to drive to see some family friends, J and K Z, then to see Grandma. Grandma is 90, going on 91, so I try to take every opportunity to see her that I can. We had a great visit. I followed that up with a quick stop to see Mom and Stepdad at Stepdad's family reunion, then to Mom2, my mom's best friend and my second mother. I then raced back to Indy to catch up with the BGM for a birthday celebration for Maestro. I missed dinner, but managed to catch a drag show downtown at the Metro and see one of the BGM perform there. Hugs and love to all of you ... great to see you :)

Monday was a race against the clock ... got up, hung out with Sister and Boy Wonder a bit more (good pancakes ... thanks Boy Wonder!), then got ready to meet Maestro and BGM's Mom for some lunch at what I hoped would be Bazbeaux. Sigh. Not to be ... Bazbeaux was closed for Labor Day, so we went to Hoaglin's for lunch. I love Hoaglin's but my heart was set on Bazbeaux. After a good lunch to celebrate Maestro's 34+1 day, we parted ways and I headed north to meet Sister and Boy Wonder so they could take me back to the airport.

Lucky me, I did end up with about 30 minutes to myself, so I went to Half-Price books and bought $39 worth of books. Yep, I am certain the AirTran baggage claim people hate me now.

Arrived back home at 6:15 and basically ate dinner, then came home to veg. Good to see everyone, although I did not see everyone I wanted to see. Longer trip planned for December, so I will have more time and opportunities at that point.

Happy Tuesday !

The Day I Nearly Lost My Shit

It has been awhile since I felt a complete overpowering inferno of anger consume my soul.

Yesterday was that day.

Last month, armed with my new health insurance, I met with my new doctor to get a refill on my anti-depressants. Same ones I've taken for the past three years, they work great and I cannot imagine not having them.

My new insurance declared that I had to try the generic of my drug. Either try the generic, they said, or pay full-price for the one you are on. ($260/month vs. $30/month) Obviously, since I am fully in charge of my own health care (insert sarcasm here), I took the generic.

On the generic, I had the following side effects: insomnia, heart palpitations (for hours, all day long), constipation and, perhaps worst of all, I felt like it wasn't treating my depression. I wanted to lie in bed all day every day, much like I felt when I wasn't on my happy pills.

So I contact my Dr., am told to get off the generics and they would re-order the brand name, now miraculously (insert sarcasm again) covered by the same assweasels that wouldn't cover it before.

Four doctor's visits in one month (copay at $20 each time). Like I have that kind of time in my existence.

A few days after going of the wonderful generic, I'm still having palpitations. Imagine sitting in your chair at work, calmly typing, when your heart starts to race like you are running over 6.0 miles per hour on a treadmill. This is what I've been going through. It feels like my heart is coming out of my chest.

Another Dr.'s visit ... and sometime this next week, I'll be put on a 24 hour heart monitor to ensure that no "real" damage has been done to my heart.

****

Then, after all that fun and games at the Dr's office, I had a vet appointment for my cat, Caesar.

Caesar, last year, had a bout of spraying in the house. This caused untold heartache and problems for me. He was diagnosed with having a UTI, plus some anxiety b/c he misses me when I am gone. Yes, happy drugs abound at my house. Cleo is the only one not on them and probably she ought to be.

Well, all has been fine here. Seriously, good times for everyone, all kitties adjusted appropriately. Two weeks ago, I called the apt. office because I had ants in my house. After they told me that it would be two weeks before they could get it sprayed, I went to Target, bought some stuff and eliminated the ants. All good, right?

Wrong.

Last week, the bug spray guy comes to my house during the day. He was supposed to come today ... not last week. So I don't put up the cats because I don't know he is coming and when I get home, it is obvious that kitty has sprayed somewhere. Caesar is nothing if not territorial of being the only boy in the house.

As a precautionary measure, I schedule an appointment at Banfield, the vet office at Petsmart, to have him checked out. I called Monday, got an appointment for Wednesday (yesterday) at 4. Since I've taken the cats to Banfield in Indy since, well, forever, I thought I knew what I was getting into.

How Wrong I Was.

I run home at 3:30, collect the cat, and get to Banfield by 3:55. Fill out some paperwork, get the cat weighed and am in the exam room by 4:05.

I wait. I wait. I wait some more.

At 5:00, after still not being seen, I collect Caesar, put him back in his cage, and open the exam door and walk out. This action now causes a stir at Banfield. Bad customer service, no stir. Person leaving with their pet before exam completed, big stir. No "we are sorry" just "oh, you are leaving."

I put the cat carrier in a cart and proceed toward the cat food/toys area as I have a few things I need to pick up. This poor, unfortunate Petsmart employee walks by me and apparently does not see the stormcloud brewing above my head as he greets me with "how are you doing today?"

I reply, tersely, attempting not to use all the profanity I have bottled up, "Not good, thanks."

I keep walking, now with purpose, to the cat area. It is there that a Petsmart manager greets me, apparently having been tipped off by the employee I encountered only moments before. He asks if everything is okay. I tell him that no, everything is not okay, I have waited an hour for an appointment to have my cat seen, after making the appointment for 4 p.m. it is now 5:15 p.m. and I have a cat that needs to be seen and a vet clinic that is unresponsive, at best. He then asks the near fatal question: "Is there anything I can do for you?"

What I wanted to say is: FUCK NO, THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO FOR ME, UNLESS YOU ARE WILLING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THE FUCK ANYONE MAKES AN APPOINTMENT AT THE VET HERE IF THE WAIT IS AT LEAST AN HOUR WITH ABSOLUTELY NO EXPLANATION. FUCK THIS SHIT, FUCK THIS STORE AND FUCK YOU.

But I did not. What I said was: "No, I am done with this place for today. I am buying what I have in my hand and going home. All I want is to go home."

So I buy my stuff, all the while noticing some conversations taking place by the vet clinic that are obviously about me. It was all I could do not to flip the whole place the bird.

I get into the car, start the ugly cry process and in the middle of that, my friend from work calls to ask me out for a drink. Thank God for C, she was my lifesaver yesterday.

****
After this delightful little incident at Petsmart, I drove down the street by my house where I had seen a vet before and lo and behold, they were open. After explaining myself and my needs, Caesar now has an appointment for today at 4 p.m. They were much nicer to me. Thank God.

Some Days Are Just Like This. Today Is One Of Those Days.

One More Thing

Whoever stole my friend H.R.'s bicycle is an assweasel. Fuck You. No really, FUCK YOU.

Sorry, H, 33 is not your year. I am working on making 34 a better year for you. So far, Fitnessnerd has been tasked with lifting the voodoo curse that is on your ass while he is in N'awlins.

That and some Bazbeaux on Monday.

I'm not saying I have a big arsenal of whoop-ass, but I'm trying.

Facebook.

I joined Facebook probably two years ago. Facebook is an odd sort of community, one that brings you back in touch with people you knew "back when," people you know presently and people that you've never known, but whom share a mutual interest.

My interest, lately, has been online games.

I know, it's silly. I wasn't one that grew up with video games of any sort. I mean, I had a cousin that had an Atari and I remember loving to play Frogger. Frogger, back then, was a green blip that was "supposed" to look like a frog crossing traffic. Never mind that the "traffic" wasn't anything more than dashed-lines that were supposedly cars and trucks. Needless to say, this wasn't the golden age of gaming, it was simply what it was.

My sister, however, is just a few years younger than me. She had a Nintendo. Yes, the original, no numbers after it, no labels, no nothing. Standard Nintendo. This was a huge step up from Atari as you could actually see what things were supposed to be rather than just a blip that may or may not look like what it is supposed to be.

Back to Facebook.

I'm hooked on a couple of things. Mafia Wars. Farmville. Pirates. Sorority Life. Farkle. All silly, ridiculous games that have no bearing on my existence but I love playing them.

Facebook -- who knew I'd actually enjoy using it?