Hello gang ... it was a God Awful ride back from Chicago yesterday afternoon/evening and one I cannot possibly relive again without a stroke. I saw so many instances of bad driving that my road rage went from just 'come on' to 'fuck you motherfucker' inside of twenty miles. Nearly 5 (!) hours later I was back in Indy.
Road Rules.
1) The far left hand lane is for passing. If you are not actively passing anyone, get over.
2) There are no designated pace cars in highway driving. If people driving over the speed limit bother you, I recommend becoming Amish and buying a horse or two. That pace of life better serves your needs (and mine).
3) Truck drivers, this one is especially for you. I know that you *want* to pass each other on the highway. Don't. You have precious little in the way of acceleration, take forever to do it and generally make a whole bunch of people wait. I've heard that trucks passing each other on the highway is comparable to old people having sex: too slow, takes a while to get to speed and no one wants to watch it. All True.
4) If you choose to ignore rule 1, be prepared to hear me shout something obscene at your car and greet you with my universally-applied one finger salute. I may also shout other obscenities if you look at me completely dumbstruck and/or irritated. Get a clue, get in the right lane. Thanks.
5) Brake tapping in heavy traffic is both unnecessary and uncalled for. Penalty: one severed foot.
Thank you.
Interesting signs on the way to/from Chicago though.
One the way into Chicago, on I-65 "Jesus is Real"
Opposite side of sign, going into Indiana: "Hell is Real"
Guess those folks are gonna get you to believe in *something*.
On I-94, around Hammond, there was a sign for Exotic Meats. It had an address, phone number and directions ... and a picture of a large bear on it. I understood all that. The part I did not understand about the sign was the picture of the elderly Chinaman on the other side of the sign. I am concerned that they are selling both bear meat and old Chinaman flesh in the same place and that creeps me out. Soylent Green, I say. *ew*
2 comments:
You don't know me, but I'm a friend of Jay Leonard's. I migrated here at his suggestion. You are freaking HIGHlarious. Amen on the driving rules!
Kelly K.
Welcome Kelly K ... come on by anytime :)
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