Repeating myself (again and again)

I felt better after my open letter to Jack so now I'll compose an open letter to the Hex. This post may get a touch rant-y so bear with me.

Dear Hex:

Or should I say just "Hex."

Your emails of late have come far more frequently than I care to receive them. Right after we separated it was a couple times a day, then after we divorced just once a day for a while then a couple a week, then finally it dropped off to once a month or so. Lately it has been at least twice a week. Last week, however, you did a one up. Yep, three times in one week.

Each of your emails come with a theme. The theme is consistently: "why can't we be friends" with an occasional "I miss you," "Your garden is looking great!" or "Don't you remember the life we shared" mixed in for my reading pleasure. Here's the deal, Hex, apparently you haven't been listening since July 15, 2005: I AM OVER THIS SHIT.

On the day I filed for separation, July 15, 2005, I was done. Done Done Done Done. I had been to counseling (alone, because you would not go) for nearly a year. I made plans to move back to La Porte (La Porte For God's Sake!!) rather than live in the same city as you. I knew that if I lived in Indy you would find a way to know where I live and want to 'see' me nearly constantly. So I moved. To La Porte.

Still you found yourself driving up to La Porte regularly, hoping for another chance. The same way you hope that your endless emails will afford you another chance. Let me tell you this: the chances of you getting another chance with me rank up with the following scenario.

% chance of being struck by lightening x % chance of winning PowerBall x % chance of winning Hoosier Lotto x % chance of the aforementioned three happening in the same day.

If all three things come together for you in the very same day I would still say: "eh, no thanks." So consider that before you invest in a lightening rod and buy some lotto tickets.

For some reason you felt the need to remind me this week that we had shared five years together. THANKS for that. Yes, I am aware those are FIVE YEARS I WON'T EVER GET BACK.

I've been ignoring your emails for the past year. I have nothing to say to you. I have said all the things I ever care to say to you. I am done explaining why things didn't work between us. I am done hearing how good your business is doing. I am done discussing your family. I am done receiving the 'soulful' eyes across the restaurant table as you tell me "it could have been so good, it WAS so good." I am done.

For the record, there are many things about our life together I enjoyed. As I weigh the good times versus the bad, I realize that life is short and I deserve happiness as well. That is why you are called Hex and not Husband.

Please stop emailing me. Stop emailing my family. Stop stop stop stop. We have been officially divorced since December 27, 2005. That should have been the clue that it was/is over.

Since you won't listen, I won't send this. You haven't listened yet to a word I've said, why in the hell would you start now?

-- Athena