Serendipity

There are some days where I would *swear* the universe just knows what we need when we need it.

Yesterday was one of those days.

I spent Tuesday night on the phone with a friend.  Lu (as you've been introduced to before) lost her husband of 17 years in 2009 to complications following a fall. [See blog post here: http://athenainindy.blogspot.com/2009/09/my-friend-steve.html]

We talked about how her work is going (boo hiss -- return of a jackass for a boss [I may be insulting jackasses by comparing them to him]), her kids (family drama), and her missing Steve (we all do).  She said something that stuck with me on Tuesday -- she said "I feel like I'm cheating when I go out with other guys." 

I had to stop, take a deep breath, and tell her that Steve would want her to be happy -- whatever the hell 'happy' is right now for her.  Certainly happy today does not look like happy two years ago at this time --

Last night I talked to Hoosier Guy about this.  We've talked many times about how we didn't know each other in high school (despite a total HS population of 600 or so), only knew OF each other through mutual friends.  Each of us has said -- what if we'd met then -- would things have gone completely different for us?

I don't know.  I think so.  I think, truly and honestly, each year, each moment, each moment of happiness or heartbreak shapes us.  I'm certainly not the person I was a year ago, not the same as 5 years ago and certainly not the same as high school me, let alone the child me.  I don't think I (nor he for that matter) would appreciate each other and what we do for one another if both of us hadn't lived through our lives as they happened. 

--- Back to Lu.  As we talked about Steve and her feelings on dating, I felt a profound sadness for her, even more so developed with time.  She had "that guy."  Steve WAS, indeed, her soul mate.  Her lover, her friend, her confidante, her rock -- those were all Steve.  And one cruel, hateful September day, Steve was gone. 

Thinking about our conversation yesterday, I was perusing my blog, as I do.  I love to read the comments (yes, I read 'em all), and I happened upon a commenter I hadn't seen before -- CJ.  As per the norm, if I see someone I don't know, I click on their name and see if they have a blog.  If they do, I give it a read. 

CJ, if you read this, thank you for writing your blog.  I still don't (and can't) understand the depths of your loss, but I feel I've gained a greater understanding of Lu and her loss of Steve.  Thank you.  I don't know you, we've never met, but you've taught me a great deal through your words.  If you'll accept a cyber-hug from a stranger through this magical thing we call the Internet, please accept one from me. 

CJ's blog is below -- it isn't her only one, as she is a very prolific writer.  Again, CJ, thank you for commenting on my blog and allowing me a moment to glimpse into your life.  Seeing your comment yesterday and then reading your blog was serendipitous indeed.

http://theredsweater.blogspot.com/