Yes, I am currently in Orlando, relaxing for a moment before I head off to see Karen, a friend from college. We haven't seen each other in 16 years, or to put it more directly, another four graduations, two marriages, one divorce and four kids.
You might imagine we've got some catching up to do.
I'm currently near Walt Disney World, which means the volume of kids to adults is approximately 5:1. I've been surrounded by screaming, cranky-ass children since I arrived here in Orlando and if anyone, I mean anyone, hands me the slightest sharp instrument, I will cut out my own ovaries. Without painkillers.
Pardon me while I step up on my Crankypants soapbox for a moment. Those with children who read this blog ... I warn you, I may be a bit much for you.
Here's my biggest issue with the breeders of the world. It seems that for every set of 'good' parents I see, who keep their children happy, safe and pleasant to be around, there are twenty-five sets of horrendous parents who let their children run amuck, screaming and carrying on, disrupting the lives of everyone around them with their nonsense. Yesterday was a couple of kids that spent the entire time in TJ Maxx with their mom saying one word over and over: "Mom!" I was ready to answer them if it just meant they'd be quiet for one solid minute. Today at Panera (location of yours truly right now, amen for free wifi), I'm sitting down for a quick little lunch when a family with 3 adults and six or seven children were allowing their children to run and scream through Panera. Oh sweet baby Jebus, but if I wanted that kind of bullshit I'd have gone to McDonalds and their playland. Screaming, crying, yelling and running. In Panera. WTF is up with this being "acceptable?" I probably don't need to tell those of you that know my Mom that if I were to have started up that nonsense as a kid I would not be sitting now. Yes, yes, I understand kids are kids but this is my problem with this 'sort' of parenting .... allowing children to run amuck without boundaries teaches them nothing. Nothing of patience, nothing of respect for others, nothing of respect for space, nothing of public behavior and conduct.
For every set of good parents I know, thank you. Thank you for not making me insane. Thank you for raising good citizens of the world.
To the rest of you ... I'm coming after your boys and your ovaries with a spork.
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