Snow Removal FAIL

This morning on the way to work, same backup, same old bullshit. Driving down Binford in the morning is always a test of driving skills but the last two days have been nothing short of a cluster.

For those unfamiliar, please allow me to explain.

From the point where I-69 southbound becomes Binford Blvd, it is two lanes. Two fast-moving, congested lanes of traffic all bound for downtown.

At 46th St, a miracle happens. A third lane is added. Now it is three lanes of fast-moving congested traffic, but now a little less cluster-y.

Sounds great, right? A real traffic mover ... and an expected one.

Now we get to the FAIL. And when I say FAIL I mean EPIC FAIL.

Just south of 46th St., Binford becomes known as Fall Creek Parkway. As it crosses Allisonville Road, the third lane mysteriously disappears in a pile of snow. No rhyme, no reason, no warning. Hence, a real clusterfuck of a backup on Binford/FCP that stretches back to 56th St.

This morning in my irritation, I called the Mayor's (in)Action Center. I reported the problem. If this is true to past experiences with the (in)action center, nothing will happen, the traffic will still be congested until approximately March when the snow melts.

Nice job, Mayor. Or shall I say "Heckofajob, Ballard!" And we all remember how that phrase turned out the last time, don't we?

Snow Removal 101

How do I even compare snow removal in Indianapolis to anywhere else?

As I told my sister this morning, mayors would be recalled, city councils shamed and public works employees would be fired if snow removal were handled like this anywhere up north. Yes, I am biased. I'm a Region Rat, suffering from a severe case of Regionnaires' Disease.

Driving in this morning, after nearly a full day of no snow, was a challenge at best. Binford Blvd. as it turned into Fall Creek Parkway had three lanes ... then two. No rhyme, no reason, just mounds of unplowed snow blocking traffic and one full lane from 56th St. down to Keystone. Shameful.

Then the sidestreets, woe is me, the sidestreets. They have been 'plowed' by cars, trucks and buses traveling over them, leaving 18" to 24" deep ruts, making simple navigation a challenge.

The word 'passable' as used by this administration is laughable at best, ludicrous at worst. The only thing passable in Indianapolis today is laughter and outrage. Mr. Mayor, this was a FAIL.

Vindicated!

For years before my Sister moved here, she'd call me up and ask me to drive north during the winter. If it had recently snowed here, she'd laugh and call me a wuss and tell me to suck it up and get in the car.

Today has changed her view on things and I am vindicated!

She now has a greater appreciation for what is called 'snow removal' in this town and now understands what I mean when I would say it wasn't worth driving. She is completely perplexed how a big city of a million people has horrible snow removal compared to small towns of 20,000 such as La Porte.

I have tried to explain for years that Indianapolis lives in denial of snow. Now she knows.

Vindicated!

The Snow Dance Is A Powerful Tool

Yes, I brought on the snow. I bet you are wondering how.

The Snow Dance.

It is a secret dance, brought out only in times of great desperation and need. Like this week.

I needed a snow day. I brought out the snow dance and wa-la, a snow day.

Thank you.

Quote

"When I was young and naive and thought it had a purpose" -- Sister, on filling out 'self-evaluation' forms for HR.

Bwah ha ha ha ha

Snow Day

I want a Snow Day.

That is all.

Divorced.

There are times that this phrase hangs over my head like a guillotine. I patiently wait for the blade to fall and the pain to end, but ultimately, it hangs there. Waiting. For what? I don't know.

After being married to who I now know was the wrong person, I also know loneliness like I had no idea existed. Dark, soul-wrenching loneliness that makes your bones ache and your mind crawl into itself. The nights I'd lie awake, hours after going to bed with a "please come to bed soon," hearing his typing above me, him so lost in thought and work he'd forgotten me. And me so lost in grief I'd cry myself to sleep.

That isn't anything I miss.

I was watching the Dan Ho Show last night on FitTV (?) and he was helping a divorced dad reconnect with his daughter, fix up his house and get out there (i.e. start dating again). Watching the show was interesting in its own way and seeing another person struggle with life changes as I have. Dan revealed that he was divorced too, and he had a hard time not being a hermit as a result.

I have to say, if it weren't for my friends and family, I could have easily holed up and crawled into my ownself, avoiding all people. Divorce changed me in ways I have yet to comprehend and I don't know that I'll ever fully understand all of it. Before I was married, I was much more open to the idea of love and marriage, whereas now I get beyond 'like' and I feel myself seizing up, paranoid to go further, scared to comprehend what might happen 'next.'

It is far easier for me to just 'date' someone or have a short-term fling with them, knowing that nothing will come of it, than for me to delve into someone's life, learning of him, meeting his friends, neighbors, family. While I know this doesn't put me any closer to the end goal of marriage/kids someday, it does provide a kind of cold comfort on long nights when I contemplate my life as of late.

I can't say that I don't harbor hermit-like tendencies still, but I'm trying. Slowly.

Random Nonsense About This Week

I will never ever ever travel without my GPS and my map again. Amen.

My feet were cold from Tuesday thru Thursday night. I thought I would have frostbite but I guess I am just lucky.

I am still tired from the trip.

I am glad that the Sharkfamily's Daisy is on the mend. Good Dog. Woof.

Seeing the Inauguration changed my life and I'm not sure I'll fully know in how many ways until much later.

Bar food after a long day in the cold is the most delicious thing ever.

I need to thin the herd on my 'things.'

I need to get organized for my accountant. God Bless That Man.

I feel renewed in spirit.

Inauguration Day!

Security, security everywhere!


One of the many security checkpoints for the parade. We were about 1,500 people back in line. The security checkpoint was manned by police, Army, Secret Service and Customs officials.

Waiting in line to get in, approximately 6:30 a.m. (the doors did not open until 8:00 a.m.) From L-R: Blanche, Mom, Mom's son, Athena, Maestro and FitnessNerd.

Athena at 6:30 a.m., enjoying hot tea and hoping not to freeze to death. I did not know from cold at this point.

Maestro and I aboard the Metro at 4:30 a.m.

Blanche and I showing off the latest in Inaugural Parade chic.

Snipers, snipers everywhere.

More snipers.

Two up here ... can you see them?

President Obama's limo (last window, rear, is him)

President Obama's lim (last window rear is him)

President Obama's limo (note the level of security)

The Press corps leading the president's limo.

More press corps ...

Today will be spent attending the parade. I've been up since 2:45 a.m. and we plan on leaving for the train at 4 a.m. The lines to get fare cards yesterday for the train were an hour or more wait, and we were fortunate that we purchased ours on Day 1. The trains were crowded yesterday, but not to the level of Sunday. Today the trains start running at 4 a.m. and stop running at 2 a.m. on Wednesday morning. We are planning to attend the parade, then do some other sightseeing if possible. The parade starts immediately following the inaugural (11:30 a.m. start time) and we have been told to choose one or the other to attend, as the National Park Service has determined that it will not be possible to see both. We are planning to be near the end of the parade route, near the White House and the Treasury building.

(the above was written at 3:30 a.m. on Inauguration Day)

(Written at 7:30 p.m. on Inauguration Day)

We leave tomorrow morning back to Indianapolis at 7:00 a.m. and I need to get some sleep. This morning started at 2:45 a.m. with my alarm. By 4:10 a.m. we were at the train station, and by 4:30 we were aboard a train to DC. The trains were packed this morning, even at 4:30 a.m. By the time we reached our destination along the parade route the cars were completely full and no one else could fit inside.

This was the last time I was warm all day -- until 6:00 p.m. After arriving in DC, we set out for one of the checkpoints along the parade route. The parade had ticketed and unticketed areas. There were only 5,000 tickets sold and we were unable to get those. Thus, we had to wait with the marjority of people in the unticketed lines. I would guesstimate we had maybe 1,500 people ahead of us in line and untold thousands behind us waiting to get in. The weather this morning was frigid and the pictures I send of me and us as a group tell that tale fairly well. The security to get in the parade route was intensive. First a bomb sniffing dog worked the line, then we were herded single file into three rows into a fairly large tent. The tent had Army soldiers, Secret Service, Police, Customs and other law enforcement who patted down each person coming into the parade area. As you might imagine, this was a time-consuming process, but it was efficient.

We found a spot on Pennsylvania Avenue, just across the street from the White House. We were located just in front of the Williard Hotel and just across from the Commerce Dept. Bldg. In the bottom floor of the Commerce Bldg is the White House Visitors Center. As you might imagine, security was tight all around us. From the double permimeter around the parade route of gates to a police officer every 5 feet or so along the route to yet another row of Army soldiers behind the police and right next to the parade route, the area was secure. In addition to that, there were snipers on every building. There were many more in the area and I'm sure there were more that I did not notice.

"Parade-chic" wear was nowhere in attendance. It was in the low 30s/high 20s and we arrived at the parade route at 5:45 a.m. for a 2:30 p.m. start time. As you are probably aware by now, the parade was delayed due to Sen. Kennedy's collapse at the post-inaugural luncheon. The parade did not actually start until around 4 p.m. By this time we had been out in the cold for 10.5 hours.

Finally, finally, the big moment arrived. We had been told that it was likely the President would walk from our location to his viewing stands. Obviously, for security reasons, it is not announced when, where or if he will walk in the parade. Unfortunately, he was in his car as he passed us. Apparently as he turned the corner onto 15th St., he got out of the car and began walking.

Some observations about his motorcade:

1. He is led in by the D.C. Chief of Police, a motorcycle brigade and numerous police cars. His limo is just behind three different press vehicles, most of which look like farm vehicles to be honest. Think farm truck with a large bed and you have the idea (see photos). Then his limo appears and it is followed closely by more Secret Service, police and other guards.

2. He appeared happy and smiled and waved to the crowd from his limo. I have enclosed a few pictures of him. Perhaps with enlargement they will come out better. Not the best pictures but honestly, his limo windows were very dark. Following our sighting of President Obama, we left for Vienna. It had been a long day and we had not been able to eat since 5:30 a.m. breakfast. The food selection within the gated area was limited to hot and cold beverages and some cold sandwiches. After standing out in the cold since 5:30 a.m., it was hard to imagine eating anything cold.

Following the parade (with only Blanche and I staying for the whole shindig), we went back to the local pub in Vienna and had beer, coffee and sandwiches. It was the best meal ever and I am sure I know why -- we were cold and starving and would have eaten cardboard if it was offered to us.

MLK, Jr. Day

A protest on Dupont Circle ...

Another protest on Dupont Circle, this one was detailed in The Huffington Post. People threw shoes at an inflatable George W. Bush.

Protesters across from the White House on Monday.

Jamie Lee Curtis at Political Americana.

Gitmo protest in front of the White House.

Press box across from the Presidential Viewing Stands.

The Presidential Viewing Stands.

A protester in front of the White House.

On Monday we all traveled separately, each attending to our list of 'must-sees' while here in Washington. I wanted to see the White House again, see where the Blair House was located and generally take in the mood of the crowd. Upon arrival in McPherson station (Metro, Orange/Blue Line), Blanche and I bid the others goodbye, as FitnessNerd, Mom and Maestro were headed to the zoo. Blanche has never been to Washington before, so his list of must-sees was long and intensive. I joined him as we walked around the White House grounds, which which had heavily limited access for security reasons. We did spy the Blair House and I've enclosed a picture of this. It is right across the street from the White House and I can see why visiting dignitaries/future heads of state stay there. We wound through the gardens then back out on Pennsylvania Avenue. This is where we were greeted with what became the theme of the day: protesters. Every cause imaginable was represented yesterday, from closing Gitmo to abortion rights to no abortion to impeaching the sitting president.

We did manage to walk up Pennsylvania a little bit, getting in close enough for a picture of the Presidential Viewing Stands, where President-elect Obama will sit to watch the parade. I have enclosed a picture of this, as well as a picture of the press box that sits directly across from the Presidential Viewing Stands. After this we split up, and he went to the Newseum, while I wandered the parade route and local shops. More on the protesters ... it seemed they were everywhere yesterday. I couldn't walk more than a few feet without seeing a new protest. It was interesting, the mix of vendors with protesters, each passionate about their cause, whether it be selling buttons, t-shirts, flags or scarves or the conditions at Gitmo. The most fascinating protest so far that I've seen was one in Dupont Circle. There was a large, blow-up of George W. Bush and protesters/the crowd was invited to throw shoes at him, a la his last press conference in Iraq.

My one celebrity sighting so far has been Jamie Lee Curtis. I was in a shop called Politically Americana across from the Treasury building and White House when I was told that Jamie Lee Curtis was at the front of the store checking out.

The weather here has been what you'd expect, cold. It has been in the 30s here and dressing in layers isn't just an option, it is optional. I'm wearing a minimum of two layers at all times and sometimes three. I've been cold most days (as most hours of the day have been spent outside) but not miserably cold. When it becomes unbearable I step into a coffee shop or other restaurant and get something to warm me up.

Pictures from DC

Athena on the wall outside the Library of Congress.

View of the Lincoln Memorial from the edge of the secured area for the concert on Sunday, January 18.

FitnessNerd, Blanche, Maestro and me in front of the Washington Monument with our backs to the Lincoln Memorial.

FitnessNerd and Blanche in front of the Jumbotrons on the Mall.

Day 1 to DC: Ohio is too big

On Saturday morning, I woke up at 5:15, got in the shower, got ready, put stuff in the car and suddenly realized: I've not been up this early in I-don't-know-when.

It was then I knew the only thing that would resolve this problem: coffee.

A quick trip to Starbucks for refreshments and I was off. First stop, picking up Blanche and then to FitnessNerd's house to pick him up for the drive to the airport. Our trip would include a car rental, a mini-van specifically, and all the way there I hoped and prayed that all of our luggage would fit.

A veteran of many a road trip, I've found that sometimes the hardest part of a trip isn't the trials and tribulations of the trip -- it is the packing of the car with hopes that everything fits. This trip was no exception -- five adults, one child and luggage for 25.

To add to the madness, we needed to pack air mattresses, pillows and blankets because we are staying at Mom's brother's house in Virginia. While the house is plenty big to house us all (total count: 7 adults, 2 kids, 1 dog), sleeping arrangements were limited. Thus, the need for extra bedding and even tighter quarters in the van made for interesting packing arrangements.

Now is the time where I espouse the virtues of our van. While I've never owned a van, I've ridden in plenty over my years. This van is spectacular. It is a 2008 Chrysler Town and Country with stow and go seating. The stow and go saved the day -- all pillows and bedding fit neatly inside and then there was plenty of room for the other luggage throughout the car.

The trip started out with three stops in three hours. After that, the drivers (FitnessNerd and I) made a rule that there were no stops until food and/or gas was needed, with bathroom breaks as absolutely necessary. It was then we started to make decent time.

After being in Ohio for what seemed like three days, we finally crossed into Wheeling, West Virginia. FitnessNerd and I were trading our driving back and forth every few hours and the roads had been clear and clean. Ohio had much more snow that Indy, but as we drove further and further into West Virginia, Pennsylvania, Maryland and Virginia, the snow diminished with each passing mile. The only thing that changed: the scenery.

The Appalachians were rising before us and it was then that FitnessNerd told me he did not like driving in mountains. He wanted to ride the brakes all the way down the mountains and I had to encourage him to only use them sparingly -- as I did not want our trip to end in a fiery heap at the base of a mountain. I took over at this point and drove us into Virginia.

Two highlights of this journey -- seeing the Appalachian Trail and Cumberland Gap. As a student of American history, the Cumberland Gap was always defined as the gateway to the west. Driving through, on perfectly maintained interstate roads through this area I could not help but wonder how thousands of early Americans drove wagons, cattle and horses through this area to venture 'west' and to parts unknown. It was then I decided I would have made my fortune by setting up shop in this area and would have been content not to travel any further.

The Appalachian Trail was another highlight. I've had friends and relatives travel all or part of the AT but to see it myself, even a small portion, was moving in a way I hadn't ever considered. Looking over the terrain around me, it was then I realized what a feat this was and understood the pull of the trail.

We arrived last night in Vienna, VA around 8:30. We had stopped for lunch, stopped for dinner, and a million small stops in between. After unpacking the van, the five of us (Maestro, Blanche, FitnessNerd, Mom and I) headed to a local sports bar, Glory Days, for a celebratory beverage and appetizers. After toasting to our successful journey and eating better-than-average bar food, we ended the day back at Mom's brother and sister-in-law's house, asleep by 11.

Reasons Why I Live In Indy

1. Weather (no)
2. Scenery (no)
3. Employment (yes)
4. Friends (yes)
5. Family (yes)

Given that employment can change at a moment's notice, I'm here apparently for my friends and family. While I love all of you, -25 windchill and -12 degrees outside isn't exactly endearing me to this place today.

I've lived here nearly 15 years. I moved here post-Cottey, to finish up my bachelor's degree at Butler. After Butler, the economy was souring, so I headed to grad school at IUPUI. During grad school I got a job with the State and the rest, as they say, is history.

It is days like today, where I am wearing 3 layers at minimum, that I wonder what it is that keeps me here.

Apparently it is insanity.

DC Dreamin'

I'm headed to DC on Saturday (until Wednesday) with friends to see the spectacle that will be this inauguration. We have no tickets to anything, just witnessing the event and being part of history.

And until two days ago, I wasn't sure I could go.

(Yes I'm fessing up now)

You see, I had put in for time off some time ago, but the little paper I count on as my 'okay' hadn't come back yet. I was getting quite nervous. Okay, let's say VERY NERVOUS until Tuesday of this week when it magically arrived.

*whew*

So now that my main worry (I couldn't go) is off the table, I can concentrate on going. I need to get my bags in order tonight (two: one clothes/toiletries, one with camera/laptop) and laundry completed. I know that it will be cold there, so layers layers layers are the name of the game. I'll be posting pictures whenever I can and I hope you enjoy my journey as I will.

Internships for Drivers and Snow Plow Drivers

I know, I know, what I'm about to bring up is controversial. I admit this, I take responsibility yet it must be said.

Drivers and Snow Plow Drivers in Indianapolis need internships in driving.

These internships should be offered in the Rolling Prairie/New Carlisle* area of the state (where I grew up) and should take place for three months -- January, February and March, each year. Those that return to Indianapolis without totaling their car or causing an accident resulting in another's car being totaled will be granted a 'free pass' from us northerners on winter driving. Those that do not will be sent on subsequent internships until these driving skills can be developed. Oh, and plenty of pointing, laughing and petty snark until the internship is completed and passed.

The Course List will look something like this:

1. Driving on snow -- not the same as driving in sunshine and 80 degrees.
2. Braking randomly will not win you any friends.
3. Perfecting the 'slide' -- how to turn away from danger.
4. Driving like a stupid fuck only makes people want to see you crash.
5. When to stay home -- and when to drive.

I imagine there are other courses which would be suitable as well. Do you have any you'd like to add? What are they?

* = officially designated as the Snow Capitol of Indiana by the Indianapolis Star a few weeks ago.

Update to my burst blood vessel ...

Talked to Mom yesterday morning about Cousin B and Kid1 and the trials and tribulations of the college experience.

Apparently Kid1, after three semesters in college, did not know until Saturday what a syllabus is/was. Yes, let me repeat. Did. Not. Know. What. A. Syllabus. Is. After. Three. Semesters. In. College.

What
The
Fuck
?

Oh my, so much is explained now. So much makes sense despite the raging migraine in my head each and every time I think, for one moment, how anyone could spend three semesters in college without knowledge of what a syllabus is. It all makes sense.

Randomness

Bruce Springsteen remains hot.

Sting has a beard down his neck. He is quite attractive normally but the beard down his neck makes me think of a dread disease. Gak. Why do men screw up their looks with untrimmed, unmanaged facial hair?

I had some delicious Indian food today at Amber Indian. It is a buffet located at 126th and Meridian, on the SW corner of the intersection in an average stripmall. What isn't so average about this place? The fresh, intensely aromatic naan brought to your table after you indulge at the buffet. The garlic naan is sublime, with just the right notes of parsley, garlic, butter and fresh bread all combining into paradise. It is not just the naan that keeps me coming back, it is the overall freshness of the food, the attentiveness of the staff and the happy, happy smile on my face upon leaving yet another lunch, sated.

I have boatloads of laundry to put away. Hate that.

Went to see a house today with Sister. So beautiful, so well laid out.

The rollerderby was fun last night although the Tornado Sirens got their asses handed to them by a rather brutal group from Pittsburgh. Honestly, the Pittsburgh team had 40 lbs (easily) on each of our girls, plus they were rough. They displayed excellent team cohesiveness much to our sorrow.

Back to work tomorrow.

I think I burst a blood vessel in my head.

In many a blog post I've detailed my family. My Mom and Sister = relatively sane, the rest = questionable.

Tonight was an overall pleasant night, as I had dinner with Maestro at Bosphorus (a Turkish place) near the Lilly campus. It was yum, yum, double yum and we had a most pleasant dining experience.

After dropping him off, I made the near-fatal error of calling my Cousin B.

I've mentioned Cousin B before. She's married, three kids, with Kid1 in college, Kid2 in high school and a parent of a 1 year old, and K3 in high school and working his way through deliquency at a rapid pace.

You might imagine given the circumstances, Cousin B thinks Kid1 is a brainiac and the best thing ever since he is in college. You Could Not Be More Wrong If You Tried.

Kid1 is in his second year at Ivy Tech up in Valpo. In year one of his college, he manages to fail a class because 'his teacher lost his final.' Mind you, he didn't bother fighting it, arguing it, or even contacting the Dean of Academic Affairs, he just shrugged in his typical manner, bitched about it to his mother (Cousin B) and decided to retake the class. Now you know me well enough to know that I'd have torn the school apart brick by brick before I'd retake a class for which I had completed all the work and up to that point, had passed. But no, not Kid1. He just accepts it.
(I, personally, believe he failed the class fair and square but did not want to admit that to his mother. He also conveniently lost his ability to go online to the campus system about that same time, thus furthering my estimation that he is blowing a whole lot of smoke over the grade but I digress.)

Now it is fall 2008, the third semester of Kid1's existence at Ivy Tech. This time, he fails an English class. Why? Apparently one zero on his grades. And he apparently owes money to the school and cannot register for Spring 2009 classes until he pays up. And he cannot be admitted to 'a real college' (my cousin's words, not mine) until he passes these pre-college classes. Then she says he got a zero on an English assignment where he wrote five paragraphs instead of the one that was asked for. So she calls me and rants and raves on my voicemail on how rough Kid1 has it.

I call her back and unload on her. I tell her it is Kid1's fault that he did not pursue the grade in the first class from Spring 2008 and that he did not bother to work up the food chain. I tell her that Ivy Tech has 5,000 students up there with 5,000 problems and they aren't putting Kid1's name on a list to solve his problems for him. I then tell her the reason why he probably has financial aid issues is because he didn't bother to fill out loan documentation for Fall 2008 and he's lucky to have his grades at all, seeing as we typically do not release grades to people who have not paid for classes. I then tell her that no other state college offers remedial (pre-college) classes anymore and that he will never be admitted to any other state institution until he proves he can pass the pre-college classes. I tell her that sure, he could go to a private college, but he will then pay 3x as much for the privilege of taking those pre-college classes and he'll be no closer to getting his degree anywhere else.

Then I tell her that if she wants to know the truth and whole truth, to bring her tax return with her tomorrow to show that he is a dependent and they (Ivy Tech) will tell her anything she wants to know. I also tell her that it is Kid1's problem and fault that he does not have access to the college email system and without access to the college email system he is probably missing out on a whole lot of things he ought to be doing, such as getting his loans in order. I also tell her all about Blackboard, our grade system, where she can compare his grades online to what she has in the folder in front of her. And then I finish by telling her I would have given him a zero on his English assignment too, because apparently he doesn't know how to follow instructions. I tell her about a syllabus and what it means and how it is the blueprint for the entire semester's worth of work. I then explain to her that this can be found on Campus Connect as well and then I tell her to bring everything she has with her tomorrow, as I'm sure it will be a long day.

Then she tells me that Kid1 had to wait 4! Hours! to see financial aid. I tell her that I'm sure he did and I'm also sure that he probably did not get there when it opened, that he got there at noon or one, which is why he waited so long to see someone. I explained to her that registration has been open on Spring 2009 classes since October, and if he wanted a certain section/class/location, he should have signed up then. There was no reason to wait until this week, it was just laziness on his part. I also told her that if she wanted him to see financial aid in less time, he needed to be there at 8 a.m. when the doors opened and to wait at that point instead of slackassing around until noon to show up, when there is already four hours worth of humanity in line for the people there.

It was then she tried to weasel something in about him needing scholarships and at that point I asked her what he had done to do that. She of course told me they had been to the library but hadn't found anything. I asked if he had talked to a financial aid counselor about that and she wasn't sure he had.

Oh Sweet Baby Jesus, Deliver Me.

It was then that I told her that I wished her luck, remember all the paperwork and ask lots of questions tomorrow.

I hope to God that she begins to realize just how much Kid1 has snowed her so far but I really doubt it. Sigh.

Oh yes, it is the Start of School

For those of the faint of heart or stomach, please read another post, this one isn't for you. Thanks.

Yes, boys and girls, gather 'round, it is the start of school again. As all good tales from school start, this one originates from the ladies' restroom at the end of my hallway.

Yesterday about 1ish, A1 comes in to inform me not to use the restroom at the end of the hall. The staff in this hall have an unwritten code that when the restroom is rendered 'unusable' due to stench, activity or calamity, we inform one another and we all proceed down to the second floor restroom until the 3rd floor one is safe to use.

Yesterday there was stench, there was calamity and there was activity all rolled up in one.

A1 was planning on using the restroom when she went to enter the 'big girl stall' (as we call the handicap-accessable stall). Alas, alack, it was quite a sight to behold.

One extremely large pair of women's red satin panties were on the floor.
The toliet was covered in either: a) vomit or b) feces (she did not inspect closely).
The floor surrounding said toliet also had a or b.

After exiting the restroom 'with a quickness,' she told all of us and then called maintenance. Again, we do not pay the maintenance/cleaning staff enough, ever.

Two hours later it was safe to enter.

Ah yes, what fun it is coming back to school.

The Guilt Card.

I have one grandparent left, my Dad's mom. She's 90, had six kids, wife of a coalminer, and has twenty grandkids (not counting spouses or the grandchildren's children or great-grandchildren's children).

Of the twenty grandkids, I'd say that my Sister and I live further away than all but 3 of them.

And of those twenty grandkids, my Sister and I make a point to visit her, unlike pretty much all the rest of them. Now I can say that one grandkid lives on the street next door, and he does mow her grass or plow her driveway. Another one comes over to get fed (never mind that he is probably 450 lbs if he's an ounce, it's not like he is starving, by any means) and to bring his children to get fed.

So, quick math here, 4 out of the twenty grandkids actually see her.

Over Christmas I did not make it to my Grandma's house. Yes, I should have, no I did not make time.

Yesterday a card comes in the mail. My Christmas card. It states: "This is late because you didn't stop by."

Never let it be said that a 90 year old doesn't know how to play the guilt card. She is a consummate professional at guilt.

It is times like these that I wonder just how many of my cousins got a card like this from her. Was it just my sister and I? Or did the remaining 18 get theirs too?

Sigh.

I am at work.

I'm trying to follow the principle of 'look good, feel good' but honestly, I could yack.

That is all for now.

I am alive!

Alive!

I have eaten two meals today and both meals stayed where they were supposed to! This is exceptional news!

I spent the day in bed, hoping to survive. I got up around 3 to eat something and the soup I had stayed down. Then later I had some pizza (I know, a big jump but I WAS STARVING), and that made me feel a little yuck but I think it was all that food at once. I now feel okay.

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In side news, something is disturbing me and I feel that it is time to out my feelings. I called my Sister the other day over this very thing and made her promise, PROMISE not to succumb to the peer pressure, ever. No matter if someone else pushed her, to never succumb.

Any ideas?

I am sick and tired and even more sick and tired of every minivan and SUV on the Godforsaken Northside of Indianapolis being adorned with little stickers showing children and/or sports with each child's name.

I mean, seriously folks, do you truly believe anyone on earth, aside from your immediate family gives a raging shit that 'Susie' is a gymnast, 'Joe' is a soccer boy or 'Annalise' is a cheerleader? Seriously?

I find it interesting that in an age where we are so concerned with safety and the safety of our children that people willingly advertise their children's names and their sports. Don't you think (as I do) that this is a safety issue? Why not invite child molesters to follow your minivan home, I mean, hell, they already know what your kids are involved in and what their names are -- why not give them a house key too?

As I live on the northside, you might imagine I see these every day. Yes, I do. Every Damn Day I am behind a minivan, monster SUV or other oversized vehicle with these stupid stickers on them. I am beginning to think this is a sign of the apocalypse. Or perhaps just a sign of overwhelming stupidity.

As a related but not direct thing, I am also 'over' the whole 'In Memory Of' thing on the back of cars with people's names on them. I get that you miss your relative, friend, whathaveyou, but do the people driving these cars honestly believe they are honoring the memory of that person by putting a sticker on a car? A disposable item with a limited lifespan? Why not put that person's name on a gift to charity, a scholarship fund or perhaps a gift to a local park? WTF? Since WHEN is it honoring a person through a STICKER?

Let me say this now: if I kick off, if any of you, I mean ANY of you put my name on a sticker on the back of your car, I am haunting your ass. Yep, full-on poltergeist activity with door slamming, cover-pulling, cold-chill passing, the whole nine yards. It will not cease until the offending sticker is removed. If you feel so compelled to honor me, give to charity or give time to charity. Or just share a round of brewskis and have some laughs. Whatever. Just no fucking stickers, okay?

Home in Bed.

This is day 3 of the illness that will not die. I started feeling like crap on Sunday afternoon and had a migraine from hell (thank you, Imitrex, for bringing me back from the brink). Then on Monday I woke up feeling, well, yuck. My stomach felt 'uncertain' and that is the best way to describe it. I called into work and went back to bed. From 9 p.m. on Sunday night until 12:45 on Monday afternoon, I was essentially asleep. I was hungry then, so I made some soup, which stayed with me no longer than it took for me to eat it. At that point, I gave up and went back to bed.

This morning I got ready for work, still not feeling 100% but thinking I could muscle through it. I grabbed two slices of dry toast and gatorade and I was out the door. Within 20 minutes (and a 1/3 of the way to work), that was through my system so I gave up and went back home. Now I am in bed, watching Unsolved Mysteries and sipping (sipping!) gatorade.

I love Unsolved Mysteries. Yes, the old show with Robert Stack was one of my favorites and now it is brought back from the dead on Spike TV with a new host. Still the same hokey format but I love it.

Other than that, I've checked emails. And now I'm going to curl up and go back to sleep.

Colts Depression

I'm in a dark place today after watching my Colts completely dismantle themselves in San Diego last night. Not even Jason could console me, I was feeling wretched and irritable. I can't say I feel all that much better today but I am accepting of the fact that the Colts appear to be on their way to Atlanta Braves status -- good enough to get to the playoffs, not good enough to come out a champion. Sigh.

Happy birthday to the Sharkmom/wife of the Sharkfamily. Hope you are enjoying your day. Drink lots of lovely things!

I'm addicted to Facebook. I believe I will need an intervention at some point but not just yet.

Ive been doing laundry all day. And napping. And making myself breakfast and lunch. Big day, me.

Not much else happening here. I need to hop on the Wii/Wii Fit before bed tonight. I've eaten enough fruit and veggies today. I've not eaten anything from a fast food place. I am doing really well at not eating garbage food and getting enough fruit and veggies. I fell off the Wii/Wii Fit thing one day.

Damn Colts. Pffffffffffffffffffffffft.