Now what?

Do you ever get truly restless with your life? So much so that you look around your house, assess the ten things you cannot live without and think about selling/giving away the rest, moving somewhere completely different and trying out a new life?

I get that way at times.

I'm not sure why I'm such a restless soul. I find myself dreaming of new cities, new jobs, new challenges. I've always loved living in Indy but in so many ways I feel tied here, by some invisible rope that keeps me within a 30 mile radius of the city's center.

Some of my restlessness, I know, comes from the fact my Hex won't let go. You'd think after 3 years of the-ink-is-dry-get-the-fuck-over-it divorce, he'd wish me well and let go. As I have of him. But no, the emails continue, the contact attempts continue. I've said this more than once, I'll say it a million more times, if he had put this kind of effort into our marriage we may well have just celebrated our 6th anniversary and not 3 years of divorce. Ridiculous.

I don't know if you do this, but each city I visit (meaning cities where I stay a few days, immerse myself into the local culture and really visit) I think about whether I'd live there or not. Then there is the ultimate 'feeling' of whether I feel at home here or not. The only thing I can liken it to is the feeling one gets, upon buying a house, that it is 'home' while the other houses you've looked at were just, at best, 'meh.'

Stockholm was home to me. I could see myself living there in a minute.
Washington, DC was home to me. I could imagine a life there.
Chicago has always been home to me.
and so on, and so forth.

My trip to Schaumburg this weekend has been theraputic already. Cousin Krin, with her cut-to-the-chase way of speaking says, "You just got your sister to move to Indy and now you want to go somewhere else?"

Ummm. Yes?

I don't know. Here's the things I do know, in no particular order.

1. I like what I do. I love the creative aspect of it, the research of it and the thrill of victory when a grant gets funded.

2. Although I'm a pale, pale human, I really like sunshine a great deal. This weather lately has brought me down.

3. I still have 7 months on two contracts I have out for consulting work. I do not intend to sign any more consulting contracts past their expiration.

4. I will 'vest' at my job in January, bringing me 15% of my salary into a retirement account. A retirement account which has, sadly, made me cringe of late. These funds, however, will help make my account a touch more solvent.

5. Sister's wedding is in May. Nothing will happen prior to that. I need to help her as being maid of honor is a hell of a big job and she already has two bridesmaids out of town.

6. This is not the time to sell a house.

7. I have some serious purging to do if I ever intend on moving. How does one collect so much 'stuff' anyway?

8. My family lives here and in Florida.


Stay tuned, my life could get downright interesting by this time next year.