The Day I Nearly Lost My Shit

It has been awhile since I felt a complete overpowering inferno of anger consume my soul.

Yesterday was that day.

Last month, armed with my new health insurance, I met with my new doctor to get a refill on my anti-depressants. Same ones I've taken for the past three years, they work great and I cannot imagine not having them.

My new insurance declared that I had to try the generic of my drug. Either try the generic, they said, or pay full-price for the one you are on. ($260/month vs. $30/month) Obviously, since I am fully in charge of my own health care (insert sarcasm here), I took the generic.

On the generic, I had the following side effects: insomnia, heart palpitations (for hours, all day long), constipation and, perhaps worst of all, I felt like it wasn't treating my depression. I wanted to lie in bed all day every day, much like I felt when I wasn't on my happy pills.

So I contact my Dr., am told to get off the generics and they would re-order the brand name, now miraculously (insert sarcasm again) covered by the same assweasels that wouldn't cover it before.

Four doctor's visits in one month (copay at $20 each time). Like I have that kind of time in my existence.

A few days after going of the wonderful generic, I'm still having palpitations. Imagine sitting in your chair at work, calmly typing, when your heart starts to race like you are running over 6.0 miles per hour on a treadmill. This is what I've been going through. It feels like my heart is coming out of my chest.

Another Dr.'s visit ... and sometime this next week, I'll be put on a 24 hour heart monitor to ensure that no "real" damage has been done to my heart.

****

Then, after all that fun and games at the Dr's office, I had a vet appointment for my cat, Caesar.

Caesar, last year, had a bout of spraying in the house. This caused untold heartache and problems for me. He was diagnosed with having a UTI, plus some anxiety b/c he misses me when I am gone. Yes, happy drugs abound at my house. Cleo is the only one not on them and probably she ought to be.

Well, all has been fine here. Seriously, good times for everyone, all kitties adjusted appropriately. Two weeks ago, I called the apt. office because I had ants in my house. After they told me that it would be two weeks before they could get it sprayed, I went to Target, bought some stuff and eliminated the ants. All good, right?

Wrong.

Last week, the bug spray guy comes to my house during the day. He was supposed to come today ... not last week. So I don't put up the cats because I don't know he is coming and when I get home, it is obvious that kitty has sprayed somewhere. Caesar is nothing if not territorial of being the only boy in the house.

As a precautionary measure, I schedule an appointment at Banfield, the vet office at Petsmart, to have him checked out. I called Monday, got an appointment for Wednesday (yesterday) at 4. Since I've taken the cats to Banfield in Indy since, well, forever, I thought I knew what I was getting into.

How Wrong I Was.

I run home at 3:30, collect the cat, and get to Banfield by 3:55. Fill out some paperwork, get the cat weighed and am in the exam room by 4:05.

I wait. I wait. I wait some more.

At 5:00, after still not being seen, I collect Caesar, put him back in his cage, and open the exam door and walk out. This action now causes a stir at Banfield. Bad customer service, no stir. Person leaving with their pet before exam completed, big stir. No "we are sorry" just "oh, you are leaving."

I put the cat carrier in a cart and proceed toward the cat food/toys area as I have a few things I need to pick up. This poor, unfortunate Petsmart employee walks by me and apparently does not see the stormcloud brewing above my head as he greets me with "how are you doing today?"

I reply, tersely, attempting not to use all the profanity I have bottled up, "Not good, thanks."

I keep walking, now with purpose, to the cat area. It is there that a Petsmart manager greets me, apparently having been tipped off by the employee I encountered only moments before. He asks if everything is okay. I tell him that no, everything is not okay, I have waited an hour for an appointment to have my cat seen, after making the appointment for 4 p.m. it is now 5:15 p.m. and I have a cat that needs to be seen and a vet clinic that is unresponsive, at best. He then asks the near fatal question: "Is there anything I can do for you?"

What I wanted to say is: FUCK NO, THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO FOR ME, UNLESS YOU ARE WILLING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THE FUCK ANYONE MAKES AN APPOINTMENT AT THE VET HERE IF THE WAIT IS AT LEAST AN HOUR WITH ABSOLUTELY NO EXPLANATION. FUCK THIS SHIT, FUCK THIS STORE AND FUCK YOU.

But I did not. What I said was: "No, I am done with this place for today. I am buying what I have in my hand and going home. All I want is to go home."

So I buy my stuff, all the while noticing some conversations taking place by the vet clinic that are obviously about me. It was all I could do not to flip the whole place the bird.

I get into the car, start the ugly cry process and in the middle of that, my friend from work calls to ask me out for a drink. Thank God for C, she was my lifesaver yesterday.

****
After this delightful little incident at Petsmart, I drove down the street by my house where I had seen a vet before and lo and behold, they were open. After explaining myself and my needs, Caesar now has an appointment for today at 4 p.m. They were much nicer to me. Thank God.

Some Days Are Just Like This. Today Is One Of Those Days.

One More Thing

Whoever stole my friend H.R.'s bicycle is an assweasel. Fuck You. No really, FUCK YOU.

Sorry, H, 33 is not your year. I am working on making 34 a better year for you. So far, Fitnessnerd has been tasked with lifting the voodoo curse that is on your ass while he is in N'awlins.

That and some Bazbeaux on Monday.

I'm not saying I have a big arsenal of whoop-ass, but I'm trying.

Facebook.

I joined Facebook probably two years ago. Facebook is an odd sort of community, one that brings you back in touch with people you knew "back when," people you know presently and people that you've never known, but whom share a mutual interest.

My interest, lately, has been online games.

I know, it's silly. I wasn't one that grew up with video games of any sort. I mean, I had a cousin that had an Atari and I remember loving to play Frogger. Frogger, back then, was a green blip that was "supposed" to look like a frog crossing traffic. Never mind that the "traffic" wasn't anything more than dashed-lines that were supposedly cars and trucks. Needless to say, this wasn't the golden age of gaming, it was simply what it was.

My sister, however, is just a few years younger than me. She had a Nintendo. Yes, the original, no numbers after it, no labels, no nothing. Standard Nintendo. This was a huge step up from Atari as you could actually see what things were supposed to be rather than just a blip that may or may not look like what it is supposed to be.

Back to Facebook.

I'm hooked on a couple of things. Mafia Wars. Farmville. Pirates. Sorority Life. Farkle. All silly, ridiculous games that have no bearing on my existence but I love playing them.

Facebook -- who knew I'd actually enjoy using it?

Classes started yesterday ...

And this place has been a madhouse since a week ago Monday.

Long lines, impatient people, hot, sweaty ... you name it, it has been going on. I've been serving at a "welcome table" -- also known as the answer desk. I've been at the table for anywhere between 2 hours and 7 hours each day of the last week. Last Friday was the first day I'd gone home before 6 all week. It was delightful.

Being at a college in the first few weeks of a semester is almost intoxicating. The excitement is contagious ... with students, staff and faculty alike all focused on the start of school and the "newness" of the semester at hand, where that ever-elusive "A" is still within reach.

I've been sleeping hard every night. I come home from work, eat dinner and collapse.

I did find out that I'm eligible for free tuition next semester -- so I'll be taking Spanish. I really need it here, so much more so than in Indiana. It would have been especially helpful these past few weeks.

Thinking ... thinking ... thinking.

yes, that's what I've been doing.

Family has been to visit lately (two weekends ago it was Dad and Stepmom, this past week it has been Aunt N and Cousin T). With family visiting, it makes for some thoughtful hours, as we ponder each other, our lives and our loved ones.

Not a terrible lot to report other than a nice visit to Key West this weekend. Aunt N had always wanted to go and Uncle R does not like to drive over bridges, so with the visit, I agreed to drive down to Key West and spend the weekend.

It was lovely.
It was beautiful.
It was everything you expect Key West to be.

I'm back at work now, just trying to get caught back up. And thinking ...

Well, so much for getting attention

Yep, the news report that some woman was assaulted on our campus by two men, complete with descriptions of those men?

Completely made up.

A story.

A fairy tale.

Bullshit.

Think she got her family's attention now?

Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs, that's all I'm sayin'.

Crazy day at work ...

I'm sure it will make the national news, as it has hit the AP wire here and the news is all over Florida ...

Today at our northernmost campus, a young woman was assaulted by two men in a classroom. This happened about 10 this morning and, as such, that campus was not only locked down, but each and every vehicle leaving the campus was searched. So far, there has been descriptions of the two men released but no one has been apprehended.

That's the bad news.

The good (?) news is that we (my college) are very ready and able to handle such an occurrance and aside from the fact the assault took place, the procedure was followed. It seems a bit inhumane to talk about procedure when a woman is hurting, but honestly, it could happen anywhere and now I know what we would do if it happened on my campus.

After this happened, in an unrelated incident, the entire campus email system, network and internet systems went down.

I did a lot of filing today. Thoughtful filing.

I hope the woman who was assaulted is okay. I will keep her in my prayers tonight.

(from the Charlotte Sun Herald)

BREAKING: ASSAULT WITH KNIFE REPORTED AT EDISON, CLASSES CANCELED

The Charlotte County Sheriff's Office is investigating "an assault with a knife in a bathroom" shortly before 10 a.m. today at the Charlotte campus of Edison State College.
The victim is reported to be a student around age 30 or 31, according to the Sheriff's Office.
Lt. Rick Hobbs, a major crimes detective with the Charlotte County Sheriff's Office, said the matter is being classified as an assault, until further testing is completed. Officials earlier called it a sexual assault.

Sheriff's deputies stopped students' vehicles as they left the campus. The woman has been taken to a hospital.
Classes have been canceled for today.

Deputies issued a BOLO for two male suspects.
Sheriff's spokesman Bob Carpenter provided these descriptions:
"White Male, 5-6 to 5-8 inches tall, about 20-25 years of age, skinny, dirty blond crew cut hair, two-day growth of beard, was wearing white Puma shirt, black shoes, a scar over eye and wearing a gold hoop in his right eyebrow.
"The black male was stocky in build, 150 pounds, 20-25 years of age, clean shaven, black hair, brown eyes, wearing a large gold necklace around his neck, large baggy blue and black polo shirt, and blue jean shorts with yellow boxers over them."
The sheriff's helicopter and K-9 units have been involved in the search for the two suspects.
Those with information can call the Sheriff's Office at 941-639-2101 and Crime Stoppers at 800-780-TIPS.
Classes at Edison are expected to resume Friday.

Work overview.

It is always interesting, being the new kid on the block. Even more so -- being the new kid in the new job with unknown expectations.

The last two jobs I've had have been that way. Make my own way. Push my own limits. Discover my own boundaries.

I am loving my new job. So many different opportunities to affect change. Options for my own personal growth. Options for learning in general.

I felt pigeonholed at my last job. This one -- I feel free.

A blessing, indeed.

What a great weekend ...

You never realize just how much you miss your family and friends until you get to see them again.

Sister and Boy Wonder's party was fabulous. Like I said, great food, good times, lots of laughs. Perfect weather, IMHO, with it just cool enough for a bonfire while not too cold. Definitely not hot enough for being miserable, which was lovely too.

This week it is back to the grind, trying to get some things done. I have a couple of agreements to mesh together, plus a grant to get written. Back at home I have some boxes to get to the storage unit, along with some other stuff to be unpacked.

I'm by myself this weekend at the apartment, but next week Dad and Stepmom are coming, then the following Tuesday Auntie N and Cousin T are coming, then after THEY leave, my friend Angela is coming. Then it will be quiet until Labor Day when I head back to Indiana for the weekend.

Today a coworker brought in some mangoes a friend of hers had given her. Apparently mangoes are like zucchini in Indiana, so I imagine we will have more mangoes as the week goes on. I love mangoes so I'm already thinking about what I will make with it.

Nothing else to report. Lots of stuff to do, gotta focus.