I saw him last night (the rest of the story)

Where was I?  Oh yeah ... here we go.


If you've been playing along in this magical mystery tour I call my existence, you know that last year, before I left Indy, I was dating a guy I've called Jason on this blog. If you'll recall, he came to FM for the 4th of July and I called off our relationship a couple weeks later. It was clear he wasn't moving there, I wasn't moving back, and, quite frankly, I wasn't sure if it was going any farther. We'd dated since Labor Day the year before (2008).

Since last July, we've been talking on the phone and emailed. I've tried to maintain a friendship -- obviously I liked him enough to date, we didn't end on bad terms, may as well be friends.

I told him I was coming up and he asked me if he'd get to see me. I said I'd try and I left it at that.

So I saw him last night ....
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I had talked to him earlier in the evening, asked him if he was going to be home after I went to dinner with my friends downtown and he said yes.  I then asked if I could come over, I'd like to talk to him about some things that were going on -- he was good with that too.

I got over to his house around 10:15 or so.  His dog greeted me with unbelievable joy, wagging her whole body in half over and over with the tail going at a furious pace.  I gave her big love and when I sat down on his couch, she came up on the couch and promptly made herself at home on my lap.  Nothing like a dog to calm one's nerves. 

I can't really say why I was nervous, other than in the first moment, it became apparent that the feelings I had for him in the past weren't dead.  That pretty much knocked me flat on my ass.  I hadn't expected it, hadn't anticipated it, and certainly hadn't given THAT a moment's thought when I had planned on seeing him last night.  I mean, yes, I haven't laid eyes on him since he was in Fort Myers last 4th of July weekend but we had talked plenty and our friendship had been going well.  Feelings, well, I definitely had them for him at one time, but I didn't think those were even within a hairsbreadth of being alive so I didn't think of that.

Of course.

We talked last night about this and that -- our usual sports talk with ESPN as our background noise.  (Yes, for those that don't know, I'm a total sports nut.  Watch ESPN a lot.  This is a secret, tell no one)  We talked about his family, his job, my job, my family, the dog and my future plans.  We also talked about guppies.

Yep, you read that right: guppies.  He has fish -- mostly guppies (as you may have guessed) and one was most assuredly pregnant.  As such, I was thinking that she had about .01 second to go before birthing more guppies and as it turned out I was right.

We spent the better part of an hour chasing baby guppies around the tank before we moved out to the porch to say goodbyes.  We talked for another hour there and just before I left, a count of the guppies was given.  16 new babies.  30 total baby guppies. 

No, "talking about guppies" is not code words for anything else.  

When we hugged as I was saying goodbye, it struck me how much I still miss him.  Where the Fuck Did THAT Come From?

Got some thinking to do on that bit of business too, I guess.