Final Blog Post of 2009

The end of the "uh-oh" decade is coming. About 8 hours from now, I'll be celebrating 2010 amongst friends.

Even with the heartache I've experienced this decade, I don't know that I'd do anything differently. With each moment I grow as a person and I have to say, I like who I am more today than I did ten years ago.

In 1999, as the clock rolled to 2000, I was standing in the gravel parking lot of my uncle's bar in Fish Lake, Indiana. The nervousness of that clock rolling over -- and perhaps the issues with computers -- made me wonder if the first few moments, if not longer, of Y2K would be in darkness. I remember watching fireworks in the air (my uncle had purchased quite a few for the party) and kissing my cousin's brother-in-law, J. It wasn't a romantic kiss, it was a "hey, kissing someone at midnight is good luck and I find you attractive so what the hey" kiss. After our kiss, we both smiled, hugged each other and turned to watch the fireworks.

I never dreamed that this decade I'd lose that uncle to a senseless accident, or that I'd be married and divorced, or that I'd still not have a child. At 26, my options seemed endless and my time in grad school had just finished.

So now I look at 2010 and some of my options have limits.

I will be applying for graduate school at Florida International University for fall 2010, public administration Ph.D. It is located in Miami and will mean a revision to my work schedule, but I think it can be done.

I'm not sure if I will have children, but I hesitate to close that door yet.

I would like to get married again, to the right person. Hex was a good person, just not a good husband. This time I want both -- a good person and a good husband.

I've completely relocated my life to a different state, climate and atmosphere. I don't know what this means for my future, but I must say I love it here.

So here's to 2010 -- and a new decade. These last ten years have been hard for me -- here's to hoping the heavy lifting is lighter in the coming years.

May you, and yours, have a blessed new year. I'll be laying out my resolutions tomorrow -- I think I've finally settled on a few.

Thinning the Herd

I, like many people I know, own too much stuff. As part of this week, my tasks have included getting rid of stuff I'm not using, not going to use and don't want to use. I rid myself of two large totes worth of clothing and household goods today. It felt nice to have those things out of my life.

I've been thinking about my New Year's resolutions and typically, I generally do these at my birthday. What with the upper respiratory infection/cold that would not die, I didn't focus on anything at my birthday other than survival. Now I'm starting to think a few resolutions are in order.

My NYE will involve a party at Mary and Lee's house. Today, Mary and I went to Total Wine to pick out a number of single beers for a beer tasting at Mary and Lee's. I'm making a cheese ball, bringing herring (in wine and in cream sauce) and am thinking about making some chocolate chip cookies for the kiddos. We shall see just how industrious I get in the morning.

The herring is a Swedish tradition that my family has followed for as long as I can remember. Supposedly if you eat herring before the new year, your next year will be good. I can say that last year I ate a boatload of herring and I ended up in Florida with a new job I love. Just sayin'.

So this year's herring focus will be personal-life related, with hopes to meet someone special in the new year. I'll keep you posted on how that goes, as always.