Writer, foodie, not-so-single chick ...in Western PA: Open Letter to God

List of people who will be beside me in jail or who might consider bailing me out.

Angela -- a former coworker and friend
Big Gay Mafia -- FitnessNerd, Maestro, Blanche, Romeo (& assorted others)
Blanche -- friend of FitnessNerd, now a friend of mine
Boy Wonder -- Sister's Husband
FitnessNerd -- friend from college
Hex -- my ex husband
Hoosier Guy -- lover
KC -- friend of Mary and mine, wine afficionado
Madison -- first 'niece', now 12 years old.
Maestro -- friend from college
Mary -- former coworker and friend
MND -- Tradesman, husband to Madison and Nathan's Mom, dad to Madison and Nathan, friend for 21 years
MNM -- ER Nurse, wife of Madison and Nathan's Dad, mom to Madison and Nathan, friend for 13 years
Mom -- friend of FitnessNerd, Maestro, Blanche, Romeo and now a friend of mine
My Mom -- obvious!
Nathan -- Madison's little brother
Romeo -- friend of FitnessNerd, Blanche, Maestro, now a friend of mine
Scully -- friend from junior high and beyond
Sharkfamily -- Jen and Sharkboy
Sister -- my only biological sibling
Teacher -- a college friend from OR
Tom -- a former coworker and Godfather to my April Fool's baby
Xena -- friend of Maestro's from college, now a friend of mine